Russian eye witnesses report on Kompromat (unverified)
OK. Very unverified.
Source: Treblinsky Trumpet Tattler.
Russian eye witnesses have finally opened up about the kompromat and talking about what happened at a private meeting held shortly after Trump's surprise victory last November at one of Putin's private lodges.
Trump was apparently invited directly by President Putin to see construction going on at a new massive hunting lodge above the Arctic Circle . Trump came alone without wife or children, accompanied only by a small security detail. He was immediately impressed by the size of the estate, the many outbuildings and lavish old world craftsmanship and details provided by large numbers of Russian wood workers and slave laborers who worked night and day, even through a full blizzard. Trump told his security detail. “Look, they love Putin so much, they work for free!” His men said nothing. Trump was reported to have been disappointed by the lack of female companionship however and he asked Putin where the women were this time.
Putin allegedly told him that the best Russian prostitutes didn't like the cold weather but that he had found something even better for the men. Trump was very interested and asked for more details. Putin nodded to one of his aides and a large gilded barrel wrapped in the finest mink and sable was rolled in. It appeared to be very heavy and required several men to place it on a intricate hydraulic cradle. The barrel was made of rare Russian olive wood. Hand carved around a third of the barrel was a veritable Kama Sutra of intricate hand carved figures. There were adjustable foot rests, padded handles and a small opening just below the middle. Trump asked what it was but Putin just laughed and said it was the best thing he could ever imagine and that he would leave him alone to figure it out and see for himself.
After Putin left, Donald had his security team check for cameras and microphones. There were none. He had them check again and when he was sure it was safe he sent his men away and examined the device more carefully When he was satisfied he understood how to use it, he dimmed the lights and savagely had his way with the barrel. It didn't take long but Putin was right. It was better than anything he had ever had. He slept like a baby that night.
The next morning, Putin came down to take him to breakfast. After a luxurious leisurely meal the two men fired up Cuban cigars. Putin got right to the point. “How did you like our accommodations?” he said giving him a wink.
Donald was effusive with his praise. “Fantastic! It was unbelievable. Believe me when I say, it was the best ever.”
Putin appeared pleased with this. The Donald appeared a little embarrassed when he asked whether he could have another night with the amazing device.
Putin nodded, “Of course Donald, we are friends, yes?
“Anytime I want?” said Trump.
Again Putin nodded, “Anytime at all....except today,”
Donald looked disappointed. “Why is that?”
Putin looked at him and smiled but said nothing. Donald noticed a long queue of workmen beginning to line up in the large dining room. His security team was also in line.
“Why can't I have another go today?” Donald asked.
“Because” said Putin, “Today it's your turn in the barrel.”
As he was strapped in and before the top was nailed down, Trump saw the camera crews setting up. His howls of delight they say could be heard all the way to Red Square.