"She made her bed, she can lie in it."

[Pacifist Patriot]

Last edited Sat Mar 31, 2018, 08:13 AM - Edit history (1)

Can't count the number of times I've seen those words or that sentiment expressed on social media.

Personally, I can't go there. No, I don't agree with many of the decisions she's made in her life, especially marrying that vile excuse for a human being. I'll confess to an instinct to view her as a gold digger, but I also don't know enough about her to appreciate what that might have been an escape from. I have no idea what kind of person she is, and don't know how she treats friends, family, strangers, or herself.

I do know that no person deserves to be disregarded and treated disrespectfully, especially by someone who made vows to place her first and foremost above all others. Argue the sincerity of any pledges coming out of his mouth all you want, that's a reasonable expectation spouses can make about one another. The horror of being married to a narcissist is something I thankfully do not have to experience myself.

I've worked with too many abused and neglected women to make the heartless error of assigning them any blame. When she does something stupid like plagiarize the FLOTUS, I'll criticize her for that. If she says something with which I disagree, I'll be happy to tell her she's wrong to her face. What I won't do is harden my heart and ignore the signs of abuse just because I think her husband is bent on destroying the world. I do feel sorry for her. I would not want to be in her $1,000 shoes for anything!!!!

[Ovida11]

1. Good idea

Yes, regards of politics I view attacking family members for political points a 'below the belt' move.

[ProfessorGAC]

2. Hmmmm

Somehow i remember her making speech at the RNC convention. (A plagiarized speech at that.)
This makes here a public figure, which suggests to me that it takes more than this stuff to be "below the belt".
If she had simply gone about her personal interests during the campaign and not "speechified" on behalf of It, then i think she's off limits.

But, that's not what happened.

[Tanuki]

3. She was also spouting birther crap against President Obama on national tv

back in 2011.
http://m.dailykos.com/story/2016/8/6/1557472/-Let-the-Record-Show-Melania-Trump-is-a-Birther

"Transcript:

Joy Behar: What is this with the birth certificate obsession? Did he ask to see yours when you met him?

Melania Trump: Well I needed to put mine, anyway, because if you want to become an American citizen, you need to put the birth certificate. I have a birth certificate from Slovenia. And…do you want to see President Obama’s birth certificate or not?

Joy Behar: I’ve seen it, I’ve seen it.

Melania Trump: It’s not a birth certificate.

Joy Behar: Well, it’s a certificate of live birth—

Melania Trump: Right.

Joy Behar: But, Melania, if he insists on what he’s saying, then no one in Hawaii can ever run for president. Because they all get the same live birth certificate.

Melania Trump: Well, but they need to have—

Joy Behar: Bette Midler is finished, for example.

Melania Trump: They need to have, and, in one way, it would be very easy if President Obama just show it and—

Joy Behar: But he does.

Melania Trump: It’s not only, it’s not only Donald who wants to see it, it’s American people who voted for him and who didn’t vote for him. They want to see that.

Joe Behar: It’s on display in Chicago, we’ve seen it on the internet; we’ve seen it. It is not the same as yours but it is a certificate of live birth.

Melania Trump: We feel it’s different than birth certificate.

Joy Behar: Alright, well, I think you should give it up.

Melania Trump: Well, it’s not him that is bringing up; it’s the media all the time, all the time. ".....

[ProfessorGAC]

5. Yep. Forgot To Mention That

Thanks for that. She's not just some innocent by-stander. She's part of the problem.

[Pacifist Patriot]

8. That's precisely the kind of stuff I will go after her about.

Unacceptable bullshit and she deserves scorn for it. Still don't like seeing someone treated like a doormat by a spouse.

[supernova]

4. Something about her

is reminding me of Pat Nixon. She did not say anything much in public and mostly stayed in the background. It wasn't until they both died we were given glimpses to the cracks in that relationship. As much as i despised Nixon at 10-14 years old, I did not wish Pat any ill will. It was probably a monumentally taxing effort to be married to him.

And the incident at the prayer service on Friday only heightens that comparison for me. He may indeed have treated Melania very well initially. Most narcissists do because they want to eventually extract everything from your soul. I'm not going to say that she deserves his brutality all day every day. No one does, well maybe Putin.

[Ilsa]

6. I have way too many other thing to think about or give a shit about.

She is so low on my list of priorities. She has food, shelter, clothing, medical care, and probably a decent friend or two or a sibling she trusts.

[Pacifist Patriot]

9. Like the Falcons spanking the Patriots in a couple of weeks?

[DanTex]

7. Umm... she's the kind of person who goes on national TV and promotes birtherism.

The kind of person who sits by approvingly while her husband foments hate crimes and brings about a rebirth of white supremacy. She's a political ally of the man who, as you said, is hell bent on destroying the world. At the very best, she has allowed herself to be used as a tool, to normalize one of the most dangerous politicians in US history.

As far as being a gold digger, yeah, she is that: a 35 year old supermodel doesn't marry a 60 year old Donald Trump for his good looks, kindness, or sense of humor. But that's doesn't matter. Gold digging is a perfectly legitimate marital strategy.

When Trump transitioned from being just another douche to a threat to the future of the world, it moved way beyond the happiness or lack thereof in their marriage. There's a lot more at stake.

She's a grown up. She has free will. Yeah, she made her own bed.

Sure, if it ever comes out that her actions in political support of Trump have been coerced under threat, then yeah, I'll have sympathy. But all signs are that she is supporting him under her own volition.

[Pacifist Patriot]

10. And for that I will gladly call her an idiot and a liar.

I can still feel sympathy for her being treated so piss poorly in public by her spouse. I still have this nagging feeling we're seeing some pretty clear signs of abuse, and if that's the case, "under her own volition" can get murky. If he's perfectly content to gaslight millions, I can only assume he's perfected the technique at home.

[RedWedge]

11. I agree. Just because she supported the weird birther claims doesn't mean she deserves to be abused.

Just because she has resources doesn't mean she feels she can use them to get out. Who knows what the prenup says about her and any children the marriage produces.

Just because she's the First Lady doesn't mean she knows what options are available to her. What responsibility does the Secret Service have if they witness Trump abusing her?

Rich, beautiful women can be at a loss about what step to take next to protect themselves, as well. The ongoing trauma of partner abuse changes the way the brain works, no matter what kind of resources you have. Writing her off just because she's rich, in a powerful position, or said terrible things doesn't mean she deserves the abuse she gets from her husband.

[Pacifist Patriot]

12. If you haven't experienced it yourself, or been exposed to it in someone else...

it's really easy to assume women could get out any time they wanted. Especially when it's believed they have the means to do so. It really is almost impossible to explain the total mind fuck an abusive relationship can be. It can't be assumed they possess the rational decision-making ability that an unbiased bystander does. It simply doesn't work that way.

If any good comes out of this, I hope it raises awareness of abusive relationships. It's usually not the visible bruises that cause the most pain.

[RedWedge]

16. Exactly right. I hear you.

[Tanuki]

18. I haven't seen a single post here suggesting that she or anyone else

"deserves to be abused." That is quite different from saying she deserves to be taken to task for spreading racist birther lies or publicly disparaging her fellow immigrants when she herself worked in the US before she had the proper papers.

[RedWedge]

19. That's fine.

I read things like "I don't give a shit what happens to her" or "she made her bed, she can lie in it" as expressions from people who don't care if she's abused. Perhaps I made the leap to think that people believe she deserves it when they say that. It wasn't a big leap, though.

[Pacifist Patriot]

21. That was pretty much my take on it.

And I was careful to say social media. What I have seen on Facebook and Twitter is worse than what I've seen here.

[bigbrother05]

13. Am I wrong for thinking the headline was supporting Kellyanne?

[Pacifist Patriot]

15. Ha ha!

[hlthe2b]

14. She is the uitmate opportunist....

for some that is laudable--just "bizness", you see.

For me, it represents something far more malignant.

I won't go after her; I can still feel some empathy when she faces the "tradeoff impacts" from the decisions she made. But, i certainly am NOT going to defend her.

[longship]

17. "I've worked with too many abused and neglected women to make the heartless error of assigning them

any blame."

That's it in a nutshell. It is one of the essential arguments against our nation's new regime. If people do not get this, I don't know what to think.

Resist!

[MFM008]

20. No sympathy

Sorry.

[csziggy]

22. I pity Melania - she really has made bad choices all her life

And now she is in the spotlight because of where those choices led her.

She chose to pursue a modeling career rather than complete college. She chose to appear in soft porn photos. She chose to date a much older married man and then chose to marry him despite knowing how he had treated his previous wives.

I pity her because her self worth is so tied to her appearance that she spends over an hour a day with her stylist to maintain her looks.

I pity her because she does not have a way out without losing everything - her looks (because she would not be able to afford the artificial means to maintain them), the luxurious lifestyle and most likely access to her son. Those seem to the most important things in her life other than the tyrant she has to appease to keep them.

[Paladin]

23. To hell with her and the rest of that family over age 18. (nt)