Trump Accuses Media of Not Reporting Voices He Hears in Head
TAMPA (The Borowitz Report)In a blistering attack on the media, President Trump said on Monday that the press has consistently refused to report the voices he hears in his head every day.
Trump praised the really terrific information he gets from the voices, which often speak to him when he is roaming the White House in his bathrobe in the middle of the night.
They tell me that I won by the most votes ever and had the biggest Inauguration crowd ever, Trump said. These are fantastic voices and theyre doing a great job.
Trump said the refusal to report what the voices tell him makes the media the most dishonest people on earth.
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