LETTER TO IVANKA From a concerned parent just like you
LETTER TO IVANKA
From a concerned parent just like you
Dear Ivanka,
My name is Isabel Rose and I bet if we played a quick game of Six Degrees of Separation we would discover many mutual acquaintances. This shouldn’t come as a suprise. After all, we are both from prominent New York real estate families, we both attended private all-girls schools and went on to earn degrees from Ivy League colleges, and we both married smart Jewish men and now have young children. And I suspect, from the photos you share on your Instagram feed, that we also share a love of motherhood and would do anything to ensure the happiness and security of our kids.
You recently gave birth to your youngest so your memory is still fresh with the elation of holding a new life in your arms. I, too, remember that thrill. It seems like only yesterday that my second child was born. My husband and I already had a daughter and were ecstatic to add a son to our growing brood. We named our boy Samuel and took him home from the hospital with hearts filled with anticipation and love.
Samuel liked to play dress up from a very young age. When he was two, his camp counselor sent us photos of him dressed up in princess costumes and a pink bonnet. At three, Samuel’s preschool teacher informed us that he chose a tutu from the dress up bin instead of the doctor’s lab coat or fireman jacket that the other boys favored. By four, Samuel broke out in hives when we tried to cut his hair, and at five he told us, through tears, that he wanted to burn his face off because it wasn’t a girl face. He also tore at his genitalia with such hatred, I had to pin his arms down at his sides. “I’m not supposed to have a penis!” he sobbed night after night. “I’m supposed to have what you have, mommy.”
Ivanka, when I saw that photo you posted recently of you and your five-year old daughter at the Supreme Court, I could tell you would have done exactly what I did next because you are a mother who wants her children to feel empowered. Yes, you, too, would have sought professional help. And I know you would have wept in relief, like I did, when you realized your child wasn’t doomed to a lifetime of misery but was simply transgender.
Just before his sixth birthday, our Samuel became our Sadie, and we watched a butterfly break free from a chrysalis. Naturally, it was not what my husband or I had imagined when we held our infant son in our arms and uttered the phrase, “That’s our boy!” Naturally, we went through a period of adjustment. But we always knew that our priority was our child’s happiness. And that is exactly what we have today: a happy child.
Indeed, our once-miserable son is now our thriving second grade daughter at one of New York City’s top public schools. She wants to be a scientist and a doctor when she grows up so she can figure out how girls like her can become mothers using their own bodies. She takes piano lessons and likes to rock climb and go to museums, loves all the colors and shades of the rainbow, and her favorite flavor ice cream is mint chocolate chip.
What about your children, Ivanka? What do they want to be when they grow up? What do they do after school? What is their favorite flavor ice cream? Who are they beneath the trappings of their anatomy? Are they, like my child, a pure vessel of wonder and potential and love?
I bet they are.
And I bet that if you were me, you would be as proud as I am of my brave Little Miss, who dared to assert her identity in a world that showed her only pink and blue choices in her camp club house, ballerina or fireman costumes in her preschool room, and long hair or short at the hair salon.
And I also bet if you were me, you would be greatly dismayed if you found out that the government chose to rescind protections for transgender students that allow them to use the bathroom corresponding to their gender identity instead of their anatomy. Like me, you would look at your ultra-feminine 8-year-old, standing on the street corner waiting for the school bus, her already-elegant head held high, pink bow quivering in the wind, and you would say to yourself, “What on earth will my little princess do if someone forces her to go to the bathroom with the boys? She’ll be mortified! She’ll be bullied! She’ll be scared.”
Ivanka, put yourself in my Jimmy Choos for a minute. What would you do if you were me?
Because I know exactly what I would do if were you: I would take my father aside and explain that failing to protect innocent children’s right to use the bathroom of their choice is wrong and unfair and un-American. I would point out that removing protections for transgender kids is a distraction from the super-pressing issues that face our country like healthcare, immigration reforms, the environment, poverty, job growth, racism, and international relations. I would point out that picking a fight with school kids is an act of bullying and gently mention that bullying is uncool, especially when unprovoked. Because your father’s decree is, in fact, completely unprovoked.
Ivanka, there are no documented cases of school children pretending to be transgender so they can attack other classmates in school bathrooms. On the contrary, transgender children are more often the victims rather than the perpetrators of violence.
In the grand scheme of things, where children choose to relieve themselves during the school day should not be a question: they should go where they feel comfortable. And if the child’s choice makes other students feel uncomfortable, perhaps it is the other students who need to examine their response to differences between people. Is it possible that your father could refocus his educational legislation along the lines of compassion and understanding instead of fostering fear and intolerance?
I am not a lobbyist or business woman trying to sell you something. I’m not being paid by George Soros and I’m not picketing outside the White House hoping to “take you down” with my sign, slogan and bullhorn. I’m just a mother who loves her children, just the same as you love yours.
If you have any questions, or want to sit down with me and meet my two daughters and husband, we’d be more than happy to have you over the next time you’re in NYC. Like you and your family, we also celebrate Shabbat every Friday night. Perhaps we can share a Sabbath meal together.
In the meantime, I truly thank you for taking the time to consider this matter from my perspective.
In good faith,
Isabel Rose
https://medium.com/@Cupcake88/letter-to-ivanka-2edd6b1f9868#.fu7u5faez
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