Able-Bodied Senior Who Watches TV All Day Receives Free Government Meals (Borowitz)

[Stonepounder]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—An able-bodied senior citizen who refuses to do anything but watch television receives three free government meals every day, according to reports.

The senior, who has three piping-hot meals wheeled up to him each day, reportedly has no intention of working and prefers to fill his hours watching cable news.

Even more outrageously, the recipient of the meals spends most weekends in Florida, where the flow of free government food continues without interruption.

Harland Dorrinson, the executive director of the Center for Benefit Reduction, a think tank that focuses on reducing federal benefits, called the individual’s consumption of free government meals “the worst abuse of the system I’ve ever seen.”

More: http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/able-bodied-senior-who-watches-tv-all-day-receives-free-government-meals

[caroldansen]

1. His jealousy is showing. He sounds jealous of them. But some are disabled.

[LakeArenal]

30. He might be developmently disabled...

He sure acts like a 10 year old.

[Hortensis]

39. "But, according to a source familiar with the senior, those calling

him to work for his meals are, at best, ill-informed. “You can’t expect someone to do a job when he’s completely unqualified,” the source said.

[Historic NY]

2. And lives in government provided housing..

[dalton99a]

9. And a fat check.

Plus all the HUGE benefits for family and friends.

[gordianot]

23. Paid vacations with people who have similar interests.

He does share in benefits.

[choie]

3. Beauty!

not to mention he gets free transportation and healthcare...and has millions in the bank. Isn't that what they used to call "Cadillac Welfare queens?"

[dchill]

14. Air Force One welfare Queen...

In Chief.

[napi21]

4. "Three free meals a day?" The people I know who recieve meals-on-wheels only get ONE meal per day,

and some don't get them 7 days per week. As to seniors who "don't do anything" goes, they spent their entire adult life working EVERY DAY, and have earned the chance to be free to do NOTHING!

[Fast Walker 52]

5. and of course there's a Trump voter who gets meals on wheels and "never expected this"

Trump Voter Shocked To Find That Her Meals On Wheels Could Be Cut
“I was under the influence that he was going to help us.”

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/one-direction-singer-says-trump-once-kicked-band-out-of-hotel-for-not-meeting-his-daughter_us_58cd672be4b0ec9d29dc8348

[FailureToCommunicate]

13. "under the influence" sure applies to most Trump voters. And the intoxicant? Complicit media

showering free coverage on Trump's every twitch and belch.

[Fast Walker 52]

37. haha, yes... I didn't even notice that unusual formulation of her statement

but it is accurate!

[IronLionZion]

45. One has to hand it to Trump for equal opportunity screwing of everyone

In the past, Republicans would quietly fund programs that helped their white voters while demonizing "urban people" and immigrants and anyone who must be voting for Democrats as the ones leaching off our tax dollars like lazy dark skinned criminals.

Trump screws the people who put him in office. It's amazing how many enemies he's making.

[choie]

6. You do realize that this is

Andy Borowitz, right?

[Solly Mack]

7. Satire, people. Satire. He's talking about Trump.

[dalton99a]

8. Brilliant.

[Stonepounder]

10. Aaargh!

I put "Borowitz" in the title, "The Borowitz Report" in the first line, and the link has both "humor" and "borowitz-report". I didn't have room in the title to put 'humor' and "satire" tags.

OK, This is HUMOR and SATIRE. Andy is talking about tRump!

[Canoe52]

17. Duh! I didn't get that it was tRump either

[NastyRiffraff]

38. The best satire

has truth in it. I still am surprised that people didn't catch the humor, but Borowitz is a genius at taking fact and giving it a little twist.

[ProudLib72]

11. This is true

if you consider KFC and McDonalds "meals".

Question: How does one live to be 70+ eating fast food three times a day and having a physician who is a complete quack? It defies all logic, I tell ya.

[red dog 1]

25. + 1

I'll bet, (mostly because of his fast food diet), he has high blood pressure; and it wouldn't surprise me at all if he also had Type 2 Diabetes.

[Paladin]

12. Borowitz nails it, as usual. (nt)

[PatSeg]

15. I would question the "Able-Bodied" part!

[smirkymonkey]

16. Touche Mr. Borowitz!

[not fooled]

18. Hahaha

But, according to a source familiar with the senior, those calling for him to work for his meals are, at best, ill-informed. “You can’t expect someone to do a job when he’s completely unqualified,” the source said.

[lpbk2713]

19. Gets free air transport to his weekend meals in Palm Beach.

Along with his entourage as well.

[Different Drummer]

20. Someone should forward this to Fox News. I'm sure it would amp up their righteous indignation. n/t

[red dog 1]

26. Like Trump, Fox News has absolutely no sense of humor

[Fantastic Anarchist]

35. They would report it as truth and not get the joke. nt

[Fantastic Anarchist]

34. They would report it as truth and not get the joke. nt

[Blue_Warrior]

21. To the people who can't tell this is making fun of trump...

Come on guys! Get it together!

[world wide wally]

22. Not only free meals, he makes the government buy the meals from his place

So, he gets paid to eat.

[sharedvalues]

24. YES! Imagine a poor senior getting a kickback for delivery from Meals on Wheels

That's why Trump is violating the constitution by not divesting his businesses.

Kleptocrat in chief

[Leghorn21]

31. When Mulvaney so compassionately announced the Meals on Wheels cuts the other day,

one trumpite tweeted that yeah, MOW started out as a good program, but these days, recipients are trading their meals for drugs...maybe DFT's in that underground MOW/drug trade network now... (grrr)

[red dog 1]

27. K&R

I love The Borowitz Report!

[maddiemom]

28. I'd thought the man had actually stayed in Washington this weekend.

I guess he took off for Florida on Saturday, instead of Friday (?) The arrogance that allows him to blatantly ignore all his campaign claims is disgusting.

[LisaL]

29. Well, it's not like he was known for his honesty and integrity during the campaign.

I have no clue whatsoever why his voters believed whatever he was saying. It's not like they weren't warned.

[BHDem53]

32. I caught on after reading the third paragraph

I had no idea McD's delivers meals.

[alterfurz]

33. "A 70-year old man who watches 6 hours of TV a day...

...plays lots of golf, and always seems to be in Florida is a retiree, not a President." -- @JasonKander

[Kimchijeon]

36. We should cut this freeloader off! 😆

LOL

[raven mad]

40. I wish there was a totally giggling, rolling on the floor giggling icon............

But we're stuck with him for a bit -

My husband's ex-mom-in-law called, and is freaked - she's 89. We adore her, she's such fun but voted for sTrumpet............ and is getting crazy because her very minimal benefits being cut off means she'll die.

I hate him.

[Cha]

41. Brilliant Andy.. Mahalo!

Stonepounder

[JI7]

42. So Borowitz is no longer doing Satire and just reporting on the president now ?

[Saviolo]

47. Reality has been outrunning satire for years now

Tom Tomorrow has been bemoaning the fact that strips he penned within the last 5 years are now practically non-fiction.

I feel bad for the satirists. At some point folks like Borowitz, Tomorrow, and Bolling won't have anything left to satirize. Reality will be so absurd that they'll have to become news anchors.

[pressbox69]

43. Another butt hurt Conservative snowflake.

Let Borowitz eat Trumps tax returns.

[Saviolo]

48. Nono, the "able-bodied senior" he's describing

is Trump himself. It's a satirical piece.

[mahatmakanejeeves]

44. He has to pay for his meals.

Right, satire: I get it. But seriously, the cost of his meals is deducted from his paycheck.

[Motley13]

46. he has dementia, sad