The Top 10 Reasons Donald Trump Is Refusing to Throw Out the First Pitch of Baseball Season

[progressoid]

These are the top 10 reasons Donald Trump is refusing to throw out the first pitch of the Nationals' baseball season.

10. Gesture would implicitly condone actions of Cuban players who helped Ted Cruz's dad shoot President Kennedy in the head

9. Hands too small, can't grab ball

8. Unclear where ball should be grabbed anyway given that it doesn't have a [redacted]
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2. Would probably be booed mercilessly given that he has an extremely low approval rating and would be appearing in a city in which he only got 4 percent of the vote anyway

1. Still upset about 1947 integration of the major leagues



http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2017/03/28/why_donald_trump_isn_t_throwing_out_the_first_pitch_at_the_nationals_season.html

[leftstreet]

1. 2 His people have told him he'll get booed mercilessly

and it probably wasn't easy to convince him

[unblock]

2. 11. doesn't take place on a trump property.

[brewens]

3. I posted yesterday on FB, tickets to a Russian Ballet that night. n/t

[Motley13]

4. According to him, he was a great baseball player, good enough for pro

he is probably afraid we would find out the truth

[GulfCoast66]

5. The stadium could not sell beer

or any other item that could be thrown on the field. And persons would not be allowed to carry anything in that could be thrown.

Still, I have dreams of him going mid field for the National Anthem at an Eagles game. Those crazy mo'fo's would sneak in 'D' size batteries!

[democratisphere]

6. Bloke couldn't hit the broadside of a barn.

drumpfanov is a walking spasm.

[jmowreader]

7. I was thinking more like...

10. Is planning to be in Mar-a-Lago that day.

9. Found out Natinals are having "Magic 8-Ball Day" promotion; didn't feel safe knowing 20,000 people who don't like him will be in possession of highly-throwable softball-sized hard plastic balls. (This one is true.)

8. Found out opening-day beer prices are 10 cents per 12-ounce cup, no limit.

7. Nationals refused his counteroffer of "teeing off from the pitcher's mound."

6. Doesn't like baseball.

5. Nationals Park pizza concessionaire has no forks.

4. ICE refused to "deport Gio Gonzalez in front of the crowd, to teach those criminal Mexicans a lesson" because Gio Gonzalez was born in Florida.

3. Wind in Nationals Park musses his hair.

2. Nationals front office told him, "yeah, yeah, buddy, we've heard that 'but I'm the president!' shit before; if you want to see the game, you have to buy a ticket like everybody else."

And the most important reason he is refusing to throw out the first pitch...

1. Can only throw a baseball 45 feet.