New United Airlines mottos

[GliderGuider]

Though our prices are unbeatable, we can't say the same for our passengers
We have First Class, Business Class, and Fight CLUB
Board as a doctor, leave as a patient
We Have Reached Bruising Altitude
We put the hospital in hospitality

[brush]

1. Funny but gruesome and true

[Vinca]

2. Fly the scary skies of United.

[Tommy_Carcetti]

3. Our planes are so great, we'll have to drag you away from them. nt

[sarisataka]

4. Fly the Friendly Skies,

Good Luck Getting Off the Tarmac

[smirkymonkey]

5. These are hysterical!

Thanks for the laugh today!

[malaise]

6. Too true

Fugg 'em!

[kstewart33]

7. So good. Thanks! nt

[CaliforniaPeggy]

8. These are wonderful!

Thank you for the laugh! It felt good.

[AgadorSparticus]

9. Funny!!!!! but ridiculous that it happened at all.

[JHB]

10. Fly the friendly skies* with United

*on the ground, comply or else!

[Stand and Fight]

11. Funny. You should try to acknowledge the original authors. People seem to think you wrote these. n/t

[GliderGuider]

14. I have no idea who wrote them I got them from someone else

who didn't say where they came from either. It happens with viral ideas.

[boston bean]

12. We land all our punches! Fly United!

[uponit7771]

13. 1st !!!