ClickHole: Trump Admin Has Spent More Than $6 Billion On Swimming Lessons For Eric Trump

[Miles Archer]

Incredibly Shameful: The Trump Administration Has Spent More Than $6 Billion In Taxpayer Money On Swimming Lessons For Eric Trump



http://www.clickhole.com/article/incredibly-shameful-trump-administration-has-spent-5830

Even in his first few months in office, President Donald Trump is no stranger to controversy, and now it looks like a new budget report detailing the White House’s financial habits might land the new president in even more hot water: The Trump administration has already spent more than $6 billion in taxpayer money paying for swimming lessons for Eric Trump.

While American infrastructure is crumbling and millions of everyday Americans struggle just to make ends meet, the president is willing to spend millions of dollars a week on the various expenses required to teach his son how to swim. Every time Eric Trump enters the YMCA where the swimming lessons are held, the entire block must be placed on security lockdown and an elite team of U.S. Marines must be deployed to guard the pool while Eric works with his swimming instructor to learn the basics of how to stay afloat in the water. These strict security measures to keep Eric Trump safe while he learns to swim cost the White House $60 million for every lesson. And that’s before Eric even gets in the water!

According to the budget report, Eric Trump has needed to take a swimming lesson every day for the past three months, and every time the president’s son enters the pool for a follow-up lesson, he immediately screams, “I forget everything!” before sinking to the bottom of the pool. Members of Trump’s staff say that the amount of money spent on reteaching Eric Trump the basic front crawl stroke every single morning runs up an exorbitant bill—all on the taxpayer’s dime.

Americans pay taxes thinking that money is going toward funding their public schools and repairing our crumbling highway system, but apparently President Trump seems to think that that money would be better spent paying for the hundreds of paramedics that need to wait by the side of the pool to provide Eric Trump with medical care every time he tries to jump into the pool from too far away or tries drinking huge mouthfuls of chlorinated pool water in the hopes that this will make him swim faster.

[Eliot Rosewater]

1. I love it

[FiveGoodMen]

2. 6 Billion with a B?

I'd like a second source on that.

[Alice11111]

4. Yeah, that would be impossible, even w someone as

Dumb as Eric. No way taxpayers should pay though. This guy is an adult, or at least over 18.

Didn't the Obamas pay for their girls' private school? It seems like I remenber some discussion.

[rickford66]

3. What does Alex Jones have to say?

Probably calling this a hoax.

[Eko]

5. Obviously satire.

From the site.
What is the goal of ClickHole?

Let’s be honest: Today, the average website carelessly churns out hundreds of pieces of pandering, misleading content, most of which tragically fall short of going viral.

At ClickHole, we refuse to stand for this. We strive to make sure that all of our content panders to and misleads our readers just enough to make it go viral. You see, we don’t think anything on the internet should ever have to settle for mere tens of thousands of pageviews. We believe that each and every article—whether about pop culture, politics, internet trends, or social justice—should be clicked on and shared by hundreds of millions of internet users before they can even comprehend what they just read.

ClickHole has one and only one core belief: All web content deserves to go viral.

[Miles Archer]

6. That's why I posted "ClickHole" in the subject line

I thought it was well-known that they are a satire site in the style of The Onion.

Apparently it's not that well known.

[Eko]

7. Yeah,

some people don't know. I wasn't directing it at you just making sure it was clear. Thanks!