More Things You Have To Believe To Be A Republican Today: Free-Dumb Edition
Well, the 241st and hopefully not one of the last birthdays of the United States is today. Remember when we had a President instead of a infantile narcissist with deep delusions of grandeur? How long ago was that? Oh yeah...six months ago. Why does it feel longer? So very very much longer.
Anyway, since Covfefe Ren (he's a Ren because Rens are whiny wannabes instead of real Sith) and his minions haven't repealed the First Amendment and Net Neutrality yet, here's another of a series of occasional looks at the cognitive dissonance that characterizes today's right-wing.
(No. 29 in an occasional series)
Updates:
* Fake News = Journalism that makes president Trump, Republicans, or Israeli hardliners look bad. (From #28)
* "Acting Presidential": insulting female news show hosts on Twitter. (#23)
* You show how strictly you follow the Constitution by wanting to ignore the First, Fourth, Fifth, Eighth, Thirteenth, Fourteenth, and Sixteenth Amendments. Well, really all the amendments except the Second, and sometimes the Tenth. (Last see in #20)
* The crimes of Timothy McVeigh, Scott Roeder, Eric Rudolph, Gregory Giusti, Jim David Adkisson, Byron Williams, Richard Poplawski, James Von Brunn, Anders Breivik, and the entire Bundy family prove nothing about conservatism. The crimes of the Unabomber and James Thomas Hodgkinson prove that liberalism is an evil and violent philosophy. (From all the way back to #3)
All-New More Things You Have To Believe To Be A Republican Today:
* You scold Democrats for not being sufficiently "respectful" of Ivanka Trump by making a joke about her fellating a microphone.
* Democrats should be scolded for using salty language. Donald Trump's constant use of obscenities is part of what makes him "authentic".
* Education should be a privilege, not a right.
Well of course a fucking Republican thinks that. The poorly educated are the Republican base!
* Not wanting people's children to die makes you an "elitist creep"
* Donald Trump can criticize someone else for being a "showboat" and a "grandstander" with a straight face.
* Hillary Clinton had to be defeated because she "mishandled" classified information, even though there are no indications it was compromised. It's totally okay for Donald Trump to blatantly blab highly classified information to Russian agents.
* Exercise is bad for you
* A free and just society executes journalists who reveal government malfeasance.
* Kathy Griffin was justly ostracized and fired from her job for making jokes about cutting president Trump's head off, which is a serious matter and maybe a crime. Ted Nugent's jokes about cutting off President Obama's head were just him exercising his free speech and completely harmless.
* You can steal money from sick kids and then go on Fox News (of course) and complain about your political opponents' lack of "morality" with a straight face.
Or, put another way:
* Not immoral: stealing from sick children. Immoral: pointing out someone is stealing from sick children.
* You think it's impossible for Trump to obstruct justice because he's the president. You impeached Bill Clinton for obstructing justice.
I guess it really does mean:
* If a Republican President does it, it's not illegal.
While we're on the Clinton impeachment...
* Impeachable offense: getting a blow job from an intern. Not impeachable offense: conspiring with a foreign country to steal an election.
* "Making the government more transparent" = Forbidding audio or video recording or broadcast of briefings by the Press Secretary