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Wed Sep 27, 2017, 05:00 PM

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #3-15: Diary Of A Wimpy Trump: Dotard Days Edition

Last edited Fri Sep 29, 2017, 08:20 PM - Edit history (3)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #3-15: Diary Of A Wimpy Trump: Dotard Days Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Stop by your local Top 10 dealer today for our new fall sales events! Current lessees can switch from other competitive Top 10 lists today and save! I love making fun of advertising. We are back everybody! You know back in Idiots #2-17, we asked the question – the “Flat Earth Society” – how is this still a thing? Well, the sad thing is it’s gaining in popularity. And there’s one particular celebrity in particular who isn’t shutting up about it. I’m of course talking about rapper Bobby Ray Simmons, who goes by the stage name B.O.B. So he even got in that famous Twitter beef with Neil DeGrasse Tyson over this and recorded a song about Flat Earthing. Yeah that’s a thing, at least for this piece. Well, the beef must have stung B.O.B. big time, because he started a Go Fund Me page in order to raise money to buy a satellite to prove that the earth is flat. I mean you can’t make this shit up. So as of the time of this post, B.O.B.’s Go Fund Me Page has raised a grand total of… any takers? $200,000???? Maybe subtract a couple of zeroes off that, good sir. And you have… a total of $2,000 raised. Ha ha!!! By the way to put things in perspective of the $1,000,000 he’s asking for to build the satellite, that’s approximately 0.001% of the budget. And from a quick Google search, actual satellites start at the low, low price of $50,000,000 and can go anywhere from $400 to $500 million. So B.O.B., I would suggest you start selling a few more albums. Maybe enlist Justin Beiber and Taylor Swift to help you sell some albums. Oh and by the way if you go on his Go Fund Me page, that little sliver on the meter is a good lesson for your grade schoolers in how much money $1 million really is. Hey, we like to educate as well as entertain here. OK that’s enough of the intro. We have a lot of idiocy to get to this week. Before we get into it, John Oliver is back this week and he asks the question – “how much does our government *REALLY* care about small businesses?

Where do we start this week? I know – we start with replacing all instances of Dotard Trump with “Dotard Trump” since that seems to be the best thing to call him! This week. In the number one slot this week is Dotard Trump (1). So he escalated the right wing’s feud with Colin Kaepernick and took it up to 11 by calling him a “son of a bitch” during a rally. And there’s so much news about this that it’s spilling over into a second entry with Dotard Trump (2) and the NFL is escalating and not just one, but tons of teams were firing back at our “President”. At number 3 is also Dotard Trump, and not only did he escalate his feud with Kim Jong Un, he is taking the feud to new heights, and in short, we’re all gonna die. In the fourth slot is NASCAR. The Confederacy’s favorite sport is following Dotard Trump on his advice and will fire any driver who protests during the national anthem. But we will spoil the racing sport’s use of American imagery when it loves the Confederacy so much. And what’s the religious right’s reaction to all this madness? You will find out in the 5th slot in a brand new edition of “Holy Shit” (5). At number 6 is Roy Moore – Alabama’s favorite fire and brimstone theocratic judge is running for senate in Alabama. So we’re adding Roy Moore to our “This Fucking Guy” list and we’re going to take a look at some of his batshit crazy friends. Taking the number 8 slot is Alex Jones (8). I mean whew, not only did he go full on racist in his response to the NFL anthem protests, he thinks that Jimmy Kimmel is pimping out his son for Obamacare. You know folks - pimping ain't easy, but it's necessary. To quote Snoop Dogg. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot we’ve got yet another installment of “People Are Dumb”. Because while we didn’t have anything as crazy as the Mad Pooper last week, there’s plenty of crazy shit out there! Finally this week its’ more of the Top 10 World Tour (10). You know no world tour is complete without a bit of shore leave, and this time we’re coming home to the States before heading out to Asia, the Middle East, and Australia. We’re going to visit the land of the Yankees and the great state of New York! Plus what better band to celebrate everything great about New York than our old friends Gogol Bordello? They have a great new album out called “Seekers And Finders” and they’re going to play something from it if you kids play your cards right! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Dotard Trump Vs. The NFL
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That’s right, I’m taking a knee, folks! Sir, give it a chance, I just got up here! For you watching at home there’s people already leaving! Sheesh, touchy subject! This week Dotard Trump (as he will be referred to by for this edition) went to Alabama to campaign for Luther Strange (no relation to Stephen Strange).And well, it was a typical campaign rally for the Dotard, but then things took a turn. And when I say took a turn, I mean they took a turn for the absolute worst, and he opened up a can of worms that he should not have. I’m of course talking about the fact that the GOP won’t let their feud with former 49ers quarterback Colin Kaepernick go. When you’re on the right’s shit list, you’re on there forever!

SOMERSET, N.J. — President Dotard Trump on Sunday called for football fans to boycott N.F.L. games unless the league fires or suspends players who refuse to stand for the national anthem, saying that players must “stop disrespecting our flag and country.”

“If NFL fans refuse to go to games until players stop disrespecting our country, you will see change take place fast,” Mr. Dotard Trump wrote, on the second weekend morning in a row in which he vented over the issue on social media. “Fire or suspend!”

The tweet suggested that the president, who used an expletive on Friday night to refer to players who kneel or sit in protest during the anthem — a practice that took hold last season among some African-American players after Colin Kaepernick, the now-former San Francisco 49ers quarterback, did so to protest racial and social injustice — is bent on deepening a bitter culture-war fight with the N.F.L.
https://www.nytimes.com/2017/09/24/us/politics/Dotard Trump-calls-for-boycott-if-nfl-doesnt-crack-down-on-anthem-protests.html

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! So he’s saying that anyone who kneels down during the national anthem should be fired. OK! But this isn’t a mere attack – he’s going all in! You know – kind of like that Vegas dealer who counts cards and cheats against you?

Washington (CNN)On Friday night, President Dotard Trump began a full frontal assault against NFL players who refused to stand during the national anthem -- deriding them as "sons of bitches." On Sunday night, he was still at it, tweeting: "Sports fans should never condone players that do not stand proud for their National Anthem or their Country. NFL should change policy!"
Over those intervening 48 hours, a national controversy erupted -- with professional athletes asserting their right to express their First Amendment freedoms, team owners expressing their support for their players and NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell condemning Dotard Trump's "divisive comments."
So, why would Dotard Trump continue to poke at the players and, as he did Sunday night, call for the NFL to change its policies to ban any sort of protests surrounding the anthem?
The most basic (and right) answer is because he knows that, for his base, this fight is a winner for him.
http://www.cnn.com/2017/09/25/politics/Dotard Trump-nfl-tweets/index.html

Well… he’s not wrong! And you know what? His base are a bunch of racist pricks. Let’s not forget that two days before that Alabama rally, Dotard Trump said this in regards to racism:

Bridgewater, New Jersey (CNN)President Dotard Trump on Thursday denounced the removal of monuments to Confederate figures as "sad" and "so foolish," days after white supremacists and neo-Nazis took to Charlottesville, Virginia, to violently protest the planned removal of a statue of the Confederate Gen. Robert E. Lee.

"Sad to see the history and culture of our great country being ripped apart with the removal of our beautiful statues and monuments," Dotard Trump said in a series of tweets. "You can't change history, but you can learn from it."
http://www.cnn.com/2017/08/17/politics/Dotard Trump-tweet-confederate-statues/index.html

Yeah so for those keeping score at home – Dotard Trump is perfectly OK with leaving racist statues up. But guys taking a knee to protest a grave injustice? Why they’re sons of bitches! I mean when you think about it – this is a guy who Dotard Trump says is a “very fine person”!

I’m pretty sure this isn’t the kind of advertising Beats Headphones wants. I mean what the hell was he listening to? Punk for skinheads? Or maybe those weird straight edge bands that want a new era of prohibition? And by the way would you be surprised to learn that guy got punched in the face?

Last weekend, a man boarded a bus in Seattle brandishing a Nazi armband. A Twitter user photographed him and sent out the photo with the hashtag “AntiFascistAlert.” Shortly after, somebody found the man and knocked him out with a punch, the video of which went viral.

It was not the first time a video of a physical attack on a white supremacist thrilled progressives. Self-styled “anti-fascist” demonstrators have inserted themselves into a number of political dramas over the past year, often winning plaudits far beyond their narrow movement. When one demonstrator punched Richard Spencer, the far-right activist, on Inauguration Day, it provoked a spirited intramural debate within the left about the morality of unprovoked physical attacks on … Nazis? Fascists? White supremacists? Racists? Who, exactly, can be assaulted on the basis of political viewpoint?

It may seem pedantic, in the face of a threat as radical as the Dotard Trump presidency, to quibble over terminological distinctions between different varieties of odious people. But the language we use organizes our political thinking. And one of the terrible things Dotard Trump has done to this country has been to warp the terms and categories — and, hence, the character — of the political opposition through the exertion of sheer terror. Seemingly harmless changes have crept into our political lexicon, which may have dangerous consequences.
http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2017/09/donald-Dotard Trump-white-supremacy-and-the-discourse-of-panic.html

Oh and as if that wasn’t bad enough – he’s now calling for the NFL to ban or fire players who protest during the Natonal Anthem. Just shut up and watch some fucking football please?

President Donald Trump continued his rant against NFL players who take a knee during the national anthem during his joint press conference with the Spanish Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy, calling it an "important situation."

"I wasn’t preoccupied with the NFL. I was ashamed of what was taking place," Trump said when asked if he should’ve been focused on offering assistance to Puerto Rico, which was devastated by Hurricane Maria.

He added, "Was I preoccupied? Not at all. I have plenty of time on my hands. All I do is work. To be honest with you, that’s an important function of working. It’s called respect for our country."

Earlier today, he suggested in a tweet that the NFL should bar players from kneeling and slammed the NFL's ratings, saying they were "way down," except for when audiences tune in to see whether there are protests during the national anthem.

And this might be my favorite part. No it’s not the destruction of Puerto Rico from *YET* another hurricane levelling the gulf. That I’m not laughing at. That is a fucking nightmare for the people involved. What I’m laughing at is Trump saying that he can take care of the Puerto Rico crisis *AND* tweet about football at the same time.

President Trump defended his barrage of tweets berating professional athletes as Puerto Rico reels in the aftermath of Hurricane Maria.

Denying he was preoccupied by his feud with the National Football League, Trump said Tuesday, “I have plenty of time on my hands. All I do is work.”

The president has been embroiled in a five-day controversy stemming from his criticism of football players who kneel during the playing of the national anthem. Colin Kaepernick, a former San Francisco 49ers quarterback, began demonstrating in 2016 to draw attention to police brutality and racial injustice, and other players followed suit.

At a rally Friday, Trump mused, “Wouldn’t you love to see one of these NFL owners, when somebody disrespects our flag, to say, ‘Get that son of a bitch off the field right now, out, he’s fired. He’s fired.’”

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[font size="8"]Dotard Trump
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So now that Dotard Trump shot himself in the foot with that remark over Colin Kaepernick, he’s continuing to do so. Rather than list all the things that have boycotted Dotard Trump since it happened – that could take all day – we’re just going to give you the run down. But this might be my favorite thing about the NFL protests.

PITTSBURGH (KDKA) – Pittsburgh Steelers fans are taking to social media to show how upset they are that the team stayed inside during the national anthem.

Fans have posted numerous videos on social media of themselves burning their Steelers gear.

“I’m a lifelong Steelers fan, not anymore. Not a fan of you, the NFL, any of it,” says Jim Heaney on YouTube.

Heaney posted the video of himself setting all of his Steelers gear on fire following the team’s decision to decide to stay inside the locker room/tunnel during the national anthem.

Yeah nothing says “protest” like “burning $350 jerseys”. Yeah, good job conservatives! If you really wanted to protest you’re probably better off taking that $350 and lighting it on fire directly. You know, cut out the middle man. Which is certainly better than buying all new $350 jerseys for the same team!

Alejandro Villanueva stood alone outside the tunnel at Soldier Field with his hand over his heart Sunday afternoon while the rest of the Pittsburgh Steelers stayed out of sight while the national anthem played before their game against the Chicago Bears.

One day later, the offensive tackle who has served three tours in Afghanistan had the bestselling jersey in the NFL.

Browsing for jerseys on the online NFL Shop under the listing of top sellers on Monday morning, one would find Villanueva’s No. 78 at the head of the page, before the jerseys of such stars as the Oakland Raiders’ Marshawn Lynch and Derek Carr, the Philadelphia Eagles’ Carson Wentz and the Green Bay Packers’ Aaron Rodgers.

A spokesman for Fanatics, which runs the NFL's online store, confirmed to ESPN that Villanueva has been outselling that of any other player during the last 24 hours.

So while conservatives are turning Allejandro Villanueva into an unintentional hero, let’s not forget to point out the irony here. But here’s a couple of the organizations protesting Dotard Trump. Like the New England Patriots.

Patriots owner Robert Kraft released a statement Sunday morning in response to President Dotard Trump’s remarks about players kneeling during the national anthem, while speaking at a rally in Alabama Friday night.

The statement reads:

"I am deeply disappointed by the tone of the comments made by the President on Friday. I am proud to be associated with so many players who make such tremendous contributions in positively impacting our communities. Their efforts, both on and off the field, help bring people together and make our community stronger. There is no greater unifier in this country than sports, and unfortunately, nothing more divisive than politics. I think our political leaders could learn a lot from the lessons of teamwork and the importance of working together toward a common goal. Our players are intelligent, thoughtful and care deeply about our community and I support their right to peacefully affect social change and raise awareness in a manner that they feel is most impactful.”
http://turnto10.com/news/local/patriots-owner-releases-statement-in-response-to-Dotard Trumps-national-anthem-comments

And not only that, Trump has been doubling and tripling down on his attacks against the NFL. This is some dangerous and scary division here, folks.

Sigh… this is what the rest of the world calls “beating a dead horse”. Never mind that Puerto Rico is drowning along with Texas and cant get basic supplies. Nope! Fox News only cares about petty bullshit, and this is the pettiest fight you can draw!

Republican donors forked out a pretty penny Tuesday night to listen to President Trump’s tireless National Football League tirade at a posh Manhattan fundraiser, according to a report.

Trump raged at NFL commissioner Roger Goodell for failing to squash former quarterback Colin Kaepernick’s defiant protest to a crowd of about 150 people at Midtown’s cash-strapped Le Cirque, Politico reported.

“All Goodell had to do was say there’s rules and you can’t do it, suspend him for a couple games, you would never had had this,” an attendee quoted Trump as saying during the 40-minute chat.

That has never been more relevant than it is right now. Donnie really needs to shut the fuck up on this subject! And he still won’t! This is way past “beating a dead horse” territory. I think that horse is now dust!

President Donald Trump said Tuesday that he has "not at all" been "preoccupied" by the NFL and the controversy surrounding the National Anthem.
"I wasn't preoccupied with the NFL," Trump told reporters in the Rose Garden. "I was ashamed of what was taking place."
Trump is currently embroiled in a five-day controversy with the NFL since he first commented on players protesting the National Anthem at a rally in Alabama on Friday. Between Friday and midday Tuesday, Trump tweeted 24 times about the NFL, but only four times about Puerto Rico, which has been plunged into a humanitarian crisis in the wake of Hurricane Maria.
"Was I preoccupied? Not at all. Not at all. I have plenty of time on my hands," Trump said defending his time spent on the subject. "All I do is work."

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[font size="8"]Dotard Trump
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Dotard Trump can’t help himself when it comes to poking the hornet’s nest known as North Korea. Is it because Kim Jong Un is an easy target? Or is it because he’s the main character from Diary Of A Wimpy Kid? We last covered this a while ago. But now this is the sequel – where Dotard Trump must find new and creative ways to scare the bully without getting sent to the prinicpal’s office and without angering his dad enough to send him to military school. This is “Diary Of A Wimpy Dotard Trump: Dotard Days”. And so for the sake of argument we have conveniently replaced all instances of Trump in this edition with “Dotard Trump”.

HONG KONG — When President Dotard Trump threatened to “totally destroy” North Korea and mocked its leader, Kim Jong-un, as “Rocket Man” in a speech on Tuesday at the United Nations General Assembly, the rhetorical retaliation from Pyongyang was inevitable.

That Mr. Kim would call Mr. Dotard Trump a “mentally deranged U.S. dotard” on Friday was something more of a surprise. The word “dotard” in particular sent people to the dictionary to look up the arcane put-down.

Merriam-Webster noted that “dotard” comes from “dotage,” a word meaning “a state or period of senile decay marked by decline of mental poise and alertness.” It rhymes with goatherd.

You know Acme’s biggest customer is a coyote right? So then Dotard Trump fired back with:

President Dotard Trump sent another belligerent tweet directed at North Korea Saturday night, saying that if the country's foreign minister was speaking for North Korean leader Kim Jong Un in his threatening speech at the United Nations, "they won't be around much longer."

"Just heard Foreign Minister of North Korea speak at U.N.," Dotard Trump tweeted. "If he echoes thoughts of Little Rocket Man, they won't be around much longer!"
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/onpolitics/2017/09/23/Dotard Trump-threatens-little-rocket-man-says-kim-may-not-around-much-longer/697452001/

Great – so nuclear Armageddon is in the hands of two grade school bullies with inferiority complexes. How awesome is this? Not very because Dotard Trump doubled down:

Dotard Trump took a break from his tweets about the NFL and the NBA to continue his dragging of North Korea. He first mentioned Iran’s test-firing of a ballistic missile and then goes on to complain about how they are working with North Korea. He punctuated the tweet with “Not much of an agreement we have!”

It seems as though Dotard Trump isn’t backing down from this war of words/slap-fight with Kim Jong Un. These tweets come after a number of rants about the North Korean leader including an instance where he called him a “madman” and another where he chastised the country saying that it is “behaving badly and it has got to stop.”
http://deadline.com/2017/09/donald-Dotard Trump-north-korean-foreign-minister-kim-jong-un-little-rocket-man-twitter-tweets-1202175736/

But then North Korea responded by saying that Dotard Trump wants to declare war on them:

Washington (CNN)North Korea's Foreign Minister Ri Yong Ho on Monday accused US President Dotard Trump of declaring war on his country by tweeting over the weekend that North Korea "won't be around much longer."
"Last weekend Dotard Trump claimed that our leadership wouldn't be around much longer and declared a war on our country," Ri said, according to an official translation of his remarks to reporters in New York.
"Since the United States declared war on our country, we will have every right to make all self-defensive counter measures, including the right to shoot down the United States strategic bombers at any time even when they are not yet inside the aerospace border of our country," Ri said.
White House press secretary Sarah Sanders said Monday that the US has not declared war on North Korea, adding, "Frankly, the suggestion of that is absurd."

And now Dotard Trump basically gave a new indication that yeah, we’re probably all gonna die. So great, the world’s nuclear arsenal has been placed in the hands of two out of control man babies with massive inferiority complexes.

President Dotard Trump’s address to the United Nations General Assembly last week was noted for its aggressiveness, bellicosity and emphasis on U.S. sovereignty over multilateralism. Whatever one thinks of that approach, that wasn’t the most notable aspect. The speech made an open and outright threat to commit genocide: “The United States has great strength and patience, but if it is forced to defend itself or its allies, we will have no choice but to totally destroy North Korea.”

Had Dotard Trump threatened to “totally destroy” that country’s nuclear weapons capacity, its army, its government, or its physical infrastructure, the implications under international law would be different, but carrying out his threat “to totally destroy North Korea” would necessarily sow mass death among its population of over 25 million, in direct contravention of the 1948 United Nations Convention on the Prevention and Punishment of the Crime of Genocide. The Convention defines genocide as acts that are undertaken with the intent to destroy, “in whole or in part,” a “national, ethnical, racial or religious group, as such.” While simply threatening to commit genocide is not a clear violation of the Convention, conspiracy and public incitement to do so are. If Dotard Trump were to act on his threat, he will have signaled his criminal intent in advance.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/posteverything/wp/2017/09/26/donald-Dotard Trump-just-threatened-to-commit-genocide/?utm_term=.20d700a72fb2

Yeah we’re probably all gonna die. Nice knowing you humanity!

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[font size="8"]NASCAR
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So while the NFL and other major sports organizations like the MLB were defending their players’ 1st amendment right to protest, NASCAR went the exact opposite direction. Yes – NASCAR. That sport where you watch billboards drive around in a circle going 500 MPH and you root for your favorite advertising company. Well in case you’re wondering what advertisers buy this, you might want to know what Flo, Nationwide, and that creepy Sprint guy sponsor, that they sponsor this.

Several NASCAR team owners said Sunday they would not condone racers protesting during the national anthem, amid protests by sports players at football and baseball games.

There were no protests reported during “The Star-Spangled Banner" at the Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series in New Hampshire, according to The Associated Press.

Former NASCAR champion Richard Petty told the AP that any member of his team would be fired if they chose to protest the national anthem. Petty now owns Richard Petty Motorsports.

“Anybody that don’t stand up for the anthem oughta be out of the country. Period. What got ’em where they’re at? The United States,” Petty said in comments reported by the AP.

Richard Childress, a former drive who owns Richard Childress Racing, said any protests from his team members would “get you a ride on a Greyhound bus.”

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Yeah so one group that’s painfully the opposite of everyone else in the country are the same group who are Mitt Romney’s best friends. Anyone remember when Romney said this?

But the race was postponed because of rain, and Romney made another extemporaneous remark that underscored the caricature that his political opponents are pushing of the former Massachusetts governor as a wealthy, out-of-touch elitist.

Asked by an Associated Press reporter as he was greeting NASCAR fans whether he follows the sport, Romney said: “Not as closely as some of the most ardent fans. But I have some great friends that are NASCAR team owners.”

Well that’s apparently what Mitt Romney’s friends think because they now also are apparently Dotard Trump’s best friends. Because while past US presidents called themselves “uniters”, Dotard Trump is a divider. He divides like no one else. Now he has NASCAR and the NFL fighting.

President Dotard Trump is not putting to rest this weekend's uproar over professional football players' protests during the national anthem, declaring early Monday that a rival sports franchise was more suitably patriotic.
"So proud of NASCAR and its supporters and fans," Dotard Trump wrote on Twitter at 7:25 a.m. ET. "They won't put up with disrespecting our Country or our Flag - they said it loud and clear!"
He went on to write eight minutes later: "Many people booed the players who kneeled yesterday (which was a small percentage of total). These are fans who demand respect for our Flag!" He later tweeted "#StandForOurAnthem" and retweeted a user who cited for NFL player Pat Tillman, who was killed in Afghanistan in 2004 while serving with the Army Rangers.
http://www.cnn.com/2017/09/25/politics/donald-Dotard Trump-national-anthem-nascar/index.html

Because of course he did. Ah, why did you stick that knife in your leg, Dotard Trump? And really how much does NASCAR support the American flag? Not a whole lot. And really how much more offensive is that than this?

Thank you! But Dotard Trump isn’t backing down on his love and support for the racing sport. He’s instead DOUBLING down and offering this.

President Dotard Trump continued his tirade Monday morning against the NFL and its players who refuse to stand for the national anthem, demanding that the league “respect” the anthem and praising NASCAR for its “loud and clear” position on the issue.

“Many people booed the players who kneeled yesterday (which was a small percentage of total). These are fans who demand respect for our Flag!” Dotard Trump wrote online Monday. “The issue of kneeling has nothing to do with race. It is about respect for our Country, Flag and National Anthem. NFL must respect this!”

He started his tweets with praise for NASCAR, writing: “So proud of NASCAR and its supporters and fans. They won't put up with disrespecting our Country or our Flag - they said it loud and clear!”
http://www.politico.com/story/2017/09/25/Dotard Trump-nfl-fight-nascar-243091

Dotard Trump loves his loyalty doesn’t he? In fact I think that was outlined in “The Art Of The Deal”. You men must be loyal to me even when you’re not being loyal! And act like it! But at least we do have one ally in NASCAR:

Over the weekend, several NASCAR team owners made it clear that they didn't want any displays of protest during the national anthem. While many NFL players and other figures across the league found various ways to protest President Dotard Trump's comments about firing players who kneel or sit during the anthem, numerous figures across NASCAR supported the President's statement.

Team owners Richard Childress and Richard Petty were both quite outspoken regarding the possibility of protests, even going as far as to threaten termination for any employees who protested during the anthem.

"Anybody that don't stand up for the anthem oughta be out of the country. Period," Petty said, via the Associated Press. "What got 'em where they're at? The United States."

Except he didn’t do so well on Saturday:

Dale Earnhardt Jr. didn’t mince words on Sunday night after the ISM Connect 300 at New Hampshire Motor Speedway during his weekly Periscope chat with fans.

"We had a terrible, miserable day," Earnhardt said. "The car was pretty fast but we never got a chance to make the adjustments we needed to see just how fast the car could be."

Read more: http://autoweek.com/article/monster-energy-nascar-cup/nascars-dale-earnhardt-jr-has-terrible-miserable-day-new-hampshire#ixzz4ti7QIwk5

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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It’s time for this week in:

Yes friends!!!! Gather around friends!!! Pass the collection plate friends!!!! Yay, and on the seventh day, our god lord and savior Dotard Trump declared that the holiest of days be used for fighting about sitting and standing during the most symbolic of symbols, our United States National Anthem, handed down from the Lord our God. Well, you would be surprised to learn that the holiest among us are being proven that they are full of… holy shit. Our first subject is the biggest hypocrite of them all, the guy who still pretends he’s a coach despite not being actually employed as one, Dave Daubenmire.

On his webcast yesterday morning, Religious Right activist and former football coach Dave Daubenmire unleashed a rant about NFL players who choose to kneel during the national anthem, during which he also railed against soccer.

“American boys play football,” he said, “they don’t play soccer.”

Daubenmire returned to the topic during his webcast today, suggesting that there is an effort to encourage young boys to play soccer in order to undermine the institution of family and insisting that people who can’t see this obvious fact are simply blind to the spiritual forces at work.

Daubenmire said that during his coaching years, he routinely saw “little 5 and 6-year-old boys drug off over to the soccer field and their daddies didn’t even know what soccer was, the daddies couldn’t talk to their sons about, ‘Oh yeah, back when I played soccer’ and then the boys could never talk to their dads about when they played football because they took them all and stuck them over in soccer.”

“Why do we have soccer fields everywhere?” he asked. “Because it takes a man to play football and mommies don’t like seeing their little boys get knocked down, so mommies put them into soccer where they get little knee pads and they don’t really hurt each other.”

There you have it, friends! It’s all a demonic plot to undermine grandpa and destroy masculinity, and here you have an instance where a fake coach standing in front of an obviously and completely fake blue screened stadium backdrop is urging kids to NOT participate in a sport he doesn’t like. Because, America. Next – apparently there is something demonic about national anthem protests, according to this guy!

Last night, right-wing preacher Lance Wallnau streamed a rather rambling video on Periscope in which he linked the issues of immigration, climate change and athletes kneeling during the national anthem to satanic plans to create a one-world government in which Christians are persecuted like Jews in Nazi Germany.

“The whole thing about the issue of taking the knee in sports,” he said, “understand what really is the warfare there is a spirit of globalism which is saying that no nation is worth bowing for, no nation is worth respecting, no flag is worth dying for. Satan wants to eradicate the nation state so that he can create a union of nations—that’s what the immigration thing is all about; by the way, I just realized, that’s what the climate accord is all about. I always thought there was something demonic and suspicious about these things. Now I get it.”

We get it too Lance! You are completely insane! Either you’ve been hit in the head too many times or you are smoking some good Covfefe! Apparently this issue is so divided that it even has affected the female population of the United States!

Religious Right radio host Janet Mefferd told a caller that National Football League (NFL) protests during the national anthem couldn’t possibly be about white supremacy because the United States “had a little thing called the Civil War” that “corrected” the issue of white supremacy.

During yesterday’s episode of “Janet Mefferd Live,” Mefferd responded to a caller who questioned why Religious Right figures like Mefferd couldn’t wrap their heads around the reason NFL players were kneeling during the national anthem. The caller told Mefferd that people like her “need to get out more” if they really believe there is no racism or white supremacy in America.

“It doesn’t have anything to do with overall white supremacy,” Mefferd responded. “We had a little thing called the Civil War. The slaves were freed. A lot of Americans laid down their lives to make that happen and we’re grateful for that. This is not a perfect country, but that was a gigantic error that was corrected and we’re all grateful for it.”

And if that couldn’t be any crazier, apparently we delight in glory at destroying institutions like the NFL. Hey, I love the NFL! I get to go to my local Buffalo Wild Wings some place to hang out after mass! And the lord sayeth – Go Rams! And pass the blue cheese sauce!

Religious Right radio host Sandy Rios claimed that liberal activists receive immense pleasure in “destroying institutions like the” National Football League (NFL) because “it is a power base that they cannot allow to exist” because it forms “too many patriotic notions.”

On this morning’s edition of “Sandy Rios in the Morning,” callers spoke with Rios about football players who have demonstrated solidarity with Colin Kaepernick, who started kneeling during pre-game performances of the national anthem last year to protest police brutality against people of color. Rios responded to one caller by accusing players of not understanding what the national anthem represents.

“The very thing that those players say they are protesting is what that flag represents. Does it still stand? And how dare they diss that flag. And the ignorance that they display by doing that is part of the problem,” Rios said.

Yes apparently it couldn’t get any crazier than this folks. So much crazy that the Lord himself has given up. Because even Rick Wiles thinks that this is all a plot by Obama to destroy Trump.

End Times radio host Rick Wiles spent a portion of his “TruNews” program yesterday warning that the controversy over athletes kneeling during the national anthem is a communist plot to destroy America that is being orchestrated by Barack Obama.

“It’s a Marxist communist psychological warfare operation,” said Wiles. “I assure you the man behind all of it is Barack Hussein Obama, America’s chief street organizer, rabble-rouser, troublemaker. He’s behind this stuff.”

“They want violence, they want anger, they want a clash, they’re making it white vs black,” Wiles continued, asserting that this is all part of an ongoing Marxist plot to destroy key pillars of our American heritage, starting with Confederate monuments and the Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus and soon to be focused on destroying Christmas and rodeos.

“You have to understand,” Wiles said, “what the communists do is urinate on everything.”

They have an unusual obsession with the fluids of the body don’t they? And people want violence? Really, Rick? And Obama is behind this? What did he Scooby Doo you? Would he have gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for those meddling Christians? Well apparently there are meddling Christians because according to Ben Carson’s wife:

In a speech to a conservative women’s event on Saturday, Candy Carson, the wife of Housing and Urban Development (HUD) secretary and former GOP presidential candidate Ben Carson, claimed that media won’t report how Cabinet members like her husband are “getting things done” for our “sick and wounded” nation because the media and schools are controlled by people who want to “bring the United States down.”

Carson was a featured speaker at Saturday’s “Mom’s [sic] March for America,” meant to be a conservative alternative to January’s Women’s March; other speakers included former Alaska governor Sarah Palin, Duck Dynasty’s Missy Robertson, and Teen-Vogue-hating “activist mommy” Elizabeth Johnston.

“Our nation is sick and wounded, but we do have people who care,” Carson said. “Although the various departments of the current administration do not all have their assistant secretaries in place, the heads of each of those departments, they’re getting things done. You don’t hear about it in mainstream media because they have a different agenda than keeping our citizenry informed and America strong for future administrations. And although they are the only business protected by our Constitution because they are supposed to keep everyone informed of the truth, they have become unethical and manipulative to try to steer the minds of everyone to their way of thinking.”

Yay, and the lord’s children are apparently, well, childish. Mass has ended, may you go in peace. That is it this week for:

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[font size="8"]Roy Moore
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Now it’s time for:

This week’s “This Fucking Guy” is Alabama senate candidate and Adolf Hitler’s favorite former judge Roy Moore. You know Roy Moore – he’s the guy who has been kicked off the bench multiple times for violating constitutional rights, particularly that of the 1st Amendment. You know – fool you once, shame on you. Fool you multiple times, that’s also shame on you. I mean really, this fucking guy. But before we get into how extreme Roy Moore really is, would you be surprised at all to learn that our president called him by the wrong name?

A primary win by "Ray" Moore would open Alabama's U.S. Senate seat to Democrats, President Dotard Trump told radio-hosts "Rick and Bubba" this morning.

Dotard Trump called the popular syndicated radio show on Monday, just days after appearing at a Huntsville, Alabama rally for Republican Senate candidate Luther Strange.

"Luther Strange is going to be a great Senator," Dotard Trump said. "He loves Alabama, he loves the state and he loves the country. He will absolutely win against the Democrat. Ray will have a hard time. If Luther wins, the Democrats will hardly fight. If Ray wins (Democrats) will pour in $30 million."

When host Rick Burgess clarified that Moore's first name was Roy and not Ray, Dotard Trump came back with why it's "not a good sign" when the president doesn't know your name.
http://www.al.com/news/index.ssf/2017/09/Dotard Trump_calls_rick_bubba_calls_r.html

First - is anyone really surprised that Trump called a morning drive time zoo crew show in Huntsville, Alabama? Second - what I'm not surprised in the least is that a morning drive time zoo crew show in Alabama would be hosted by a guy named Bubba! Thank you! But now Roy Moore is Alabama's newest senate candidate, and Trump is suddenly on board with the hardcore racist, homophobe, and neo confederate! Because, MAGA!

Former state Chief Justice Roy Moore won the Republican nomination for the U.S. Senate in Alabama on Tuesday as voters brushed aside pleas from President Trump and millions in ads from establishment Republicans and chose a brash and controversial conservative.

Moore defeated Sen. Luther Strange, who had been appointed to the seat in April by GOP Gov. Robert J. Bentley to replace Jeff Sessions when he became attorney general. Moore held a double-digit lead throughout the night as votes were counted, and with about two-thirds of precincts reporting, led 56% to 43%.

At the time of Strange’s appointment, Bentley was under threat of impeachment because of a sex scandal, and he later resigned. Throughout the campaign, Strange, who was state attorney general before joining the Senate, had to fight off questions about the ethics of seeking a Senate nomination from a governor his staff was investigating.

You can’t make this shit up! But now let’s delve right into how extreme Roy Moore is, shall we?

Earlier this week, we looked into the campaign funding behind Roy Moore, the suspended Alabama chief justice who is now the frontrunner for his state’s open U.S. Senate seat, and discovered a host of far-right Christian nationalist activists who see Moore as their best hope for enacting their theocratic vision on a national stage.

Today we noticed that Moore had posted a lengthy list of endorsers on his campaign website—and it appears that no activist is too extreme for Moore to boast of his connections with.

Where to begin? How about with Matt Trewhella, who Moore’s campaign lists on its endorsements page as “Author of ‘The Doctrine of the Lesser Magistrate.’”

Trewhella has long been an activist on the far fringes of the anti-choice movement. In the early 1990s, he was one of 34 anti-abortion extremists to sign a statement declaring that the murder of abortion providers is “justifiable.” Another signer of the statement, Paul Hill, went on to murder an abortion provider and the provider’s bodyguard. Around that time, Trewhella was videotaped calling for churches to arm children in order to form militias.

Yeah. Roy Moore is friends with a guy who wants to fucking arm children. That’s taking the US into Boko Haram territory, you know – the fun loving terrorist factions! As if that’s the only thing that makes Roy Moore an extremist. There’s more – like the violent anti-abortion extremist group Operation: Save America that he’s affiliated with.

In the summer of 1991, the anti-abortion protest group Operation Rescue led a siege of Wichita, Kansas, which made national news and galvanized both sides of the abortion debate. Sometimes by hundreds at a time, protesters physically blocked the doors of Wichita’s three abortion clinics, focusing special attention on the clinic led by Dr. George Tiller, one of the few doctors in the country to offer late-term abortions. The “Summer of Mercy” was meant to last one week; it ended up lasting nearly seven. By the end of it, 1,781 anti-abortion activists had been arrested, many multiple times.1 The governor of Kansas supported the protesters, and President George H.W. Bush’s Justice Department stepped in on their behalf. The summer ended with a rally that attracted 25,000 people and featured Christian Coalition leader Pat Robertson.2

Soon afterward, disputes among the leaders of Operation Rescue tore the organization apart. It split into two groups, Operation Rescue and Operation Save America, both of which claim the mantle of the original organization. A leadership vacuum empowered the most radical members of the movement to fully embrace violence as a way of interfering with legal abortion.3 The surge of violence that followed included the assassinations of abortion providers, bombings and arsons. Tiller was the target of an assassination attempt in 1993; in 2009, he was murdered in his Wichita church by a man who had hung around the fringes of the new Operation Rescue.

And there’s even more. I mean what kind of hate filled extremist is this fucking guy? How about some of his other friends like “Activist Mommy” Elizabeth Johnston – who likes to post videos of herself burning copies of liberal-leaning magazines like Teen Vogue?

Teen Vogue’s “Guide to Anal Sex” is sparking a slew of outrage — including one mom so incensed, she burned a copy of the mag.

The magazine posted the guide earlier this month, touting it as “the lowdown on everything you need to know about butt stuff, no matter who you are, whom you’re having sex with, or who you want to have sex with.”

“This is anal 101, for teens, beginners, and all inquisitive folk,” it reads.

About a week later, a woman known as “The Activist Mommy” posted a video on Twitter of her burning Teen Vogue’s June edition in a campfire — with the hashtag #PullTeenVogue.

The guy on the right is more of my reaction to this one. First, you know – burning literature is such a support of free speech isn’t it? I mean the Nazis didn’t do it. Nothing to see here! And second, I don’t know of any school that teaches Anal 101, maybe if its’ owned by the Kingsman. Or Larry Flynt. And then there’s more of Roy Moore’s favorite people. Like this group “Legions Of The South”.

Michael Peroutka is a local Republican politician in Maryland who has used wealth from a set of debt-collection businesses to bankroll Christian nationalist causes across the country, most notably by funding the career of Moore. Peroutka has funded Moore’s Christian nationalist ventures and political campaigns for decades; he gave Moore’s Senate campaign $2,500 in June and his wife Natalie gave the same amount in early August, each nearly maxing out on their individual contribution limit for the initial Republican primary.

Peroutka is a former member of the neo-Confederate League of the South—he quit when the association started to cause him trouble in his campaign for office. As recently as 2012, he was on video leading a League of the South gathering in a round of “Dixie,” which he calls the “national anthem”; in a 2004 speech to the group, he said he was “still angry” that Maryland didn’t join the Confederacy and said that his daughter had the nickname “Beth Booth,” as in “John Wilkes Booth.”

Yeah so he hangs out with a guy whose daughter has a nickname of the guy who assassinated Abraham Lincoln!!! But how can we trust Roy Moore to make national laws when we can’t even trust him with basic spelling?

He’s the guy Alabama derserves, but not the one it needs right now! He’s the Dork Knight. That’s Roy Moore – this week’s:

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[font size="8"]Senate Republicans
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For those of you keeping score at home – Texas is drowning. San Juan and much of the Caribbean was practically demolished by a hurricane. California is on fire. So what is the current goal of the Senate Republicans, you might ask? If you guessed “repeal Obamacare” for the 100,000,000,000th time, you are correct! You get points!

WASHINGTON — Top Republicans are adding money to their staggering effort to repeal the Obama health care law and say they're pushing toward a climactic Senate faceoff this week. Yet their path to succeeding in their last-gasp effort has grown narrower, perhaps impossible.

GOP senators' opposition to their party's drive to scrap President Barack Obama's Affordable Care Act swelled to lethal numbers Sunday. Moderate Sen. Susan Collins all but closed the door on supporting the teetering bill and conservative Sen. Ted Cruz said that "right now" he doesn't back it.

President Dotard Trump has pressed for a fresh vote, and White House legislative liaison Marc Short and Sen. Lindsey Graham, R-S.C., one of the measure's sponsors, said Republicans would move toward a vote this week. Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, R-Ky., has said he intends to consider the measure but hasn't firmly committed to a vote.

Yeah… holy shit is definitely right. And it gets worse. So much worse. In fact the Senate Republicans led by Kentucky Senator and guy who sponsors Turtle Wax on the side, Mitch McConnell. Here’s how it gets evil.

Republican Sens. Lindsey Graham of South Carolina and Bill Cassidy of Louisiana defended their namesake health care bill Monday even as the measure ran into potentially fatal opposition from a third Senate colleague.

Sen. Susan Collins, R-Maine, came out against the bill, joining fellow Republicans Rand Paul of Kentucky and John McCain of Arizona. That leaves the GOP majority at least one vote short of the 50 votes needed to pass the bill over unified Democratic opposition.

Collins' announcement came after the nonpartisan Congressional Budget Office released an analysis saying the bill would leave millions more Americans without comprehensive insurance. The CBO did not have time to provide a precise estimate. CBO forecasts of a spike in the number of uninsured people were a factor in the defeat of earlier Obamacare repeal efforts.

Yeah maybe Mitch McConnell, Lindsay Graham and Bill Cassidy need sharks with laser beams attached to their heads. Because they were literally dragging people in wheelchairs away in handcuffs. That is a stunning level of evil. Oh and it gets worse!

In releasing a revised version of their legislation to repeal and replace the Affordable Care Act (ACA), Senators Bill Cassidy and Lindsey Graham, along with co-sponsors Dean Heller and Ron Johnson, claimed that their bill isn’t a “partisan” approach and doesn’t include “draconian cuts.” In reality, however, the Cassidy-Graham bill would have the same harmful consequences as those prior bills. It would cause many millions of people to lose coverage, radically restructure and deeply cut Medicaid, and increase out-of-pocket costs for individual market consumers. It would cause many millions of people to lose coverage, radically restructure and deeply cut Medicaid, eliminate or weaken protections for people with pre-existing conditions, and increase out-of-pocket costs for individual market consumers.

Cassidy-Graham would:

Eliminate the ACA’s marketplace subsidies and enhanced matching rate for the Medicaid expansion and replace them with an inadequate block grant. Block grant funding would be well below current law federal funding for coverage, would not adjust based on need, would disappear altogether after 2026, and could be spent on virtually any health care purpose, with no requirement to offer low- and moderate-income people coverage or financial assistance.


But there is some good news – they don’t have the votes again. With the deadline fast approaching. We all live. For now!

Senate Republicans admitted defeat Monday in their latest attempt to undo the Affordable Care Act, as a third GOP senator announced her opposition to the measure.

Sen. Susan Collins (R-Maine) announced she could not back the measure authored by Republican Sens. Bill Cassidy (La.) and Lindsey O. Graham (S.C.), moments after a much-anticipated partial analysis of the measure by the Congressional Budget Office forecast that “millions” of Americans would lose coverage by 2026 if it was enacted.

Read more: https://www.washingtonpost.com/powerpost/new-version-of-health-care-bill-will-help-alaska-and-maine--home-of-two-holdout-senators/2017/09/25/24697f62-a188-11e7-b14f-f41773cd5a14_story.html?utm_term=.548ad4e5cc9a

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[font size="8"]Alex Jones
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Damn it, I was hoping just for one week I wouldn’t have to talk about Alex Jones and his stupid show. I mean come on, do I really have to? Shit, OK. We originally were going to talk about Roger Stone here, but this is much crazier. Well, Alex Jones cranked the batshit up way past 11, and while the NFL is doing some major damage control in the wake of all the protests, Alex Jones definitely isn’t helping things. I mean did you know that Colin Kaepernick isn’t a person – he’s a tool of the globalists to intentionally turn white people racist? Neither did I!

Alex Jones, the conspiracy theorist host of Infowars, claimed that Colin Kaepernick and other NFL players who choose to kneel during the national anthem are part of a larger plot by white globalists to make American white people racist.

During yesterday’s episode of “The Alex Jones Show,” Jones criticized Kaepernick’s decision to silently kneel during performances of the “Star Spangled Banner” before NFL games, which Kaepernick did to raise awareness to systematic injustices that African American people face in the U.S. legal system.

Jones slammed the football player for protesting racial injustice despite being adopted by “white saviors” as a child and earning millions of dollars in professional sports before alleging that Kaepernick and the players who have joined him in protest are complicit in a larger conspiracy to make white people racist.

“And of course this is all meant to divide America. It’s social engineering by the globalists to make whites racist,” Jones claimed.

Jones continued, “You know what whites are is lazy, candy-ass, politically correct trash. There’s not much worse in this country than white people, to get to the end of the day. They’re the ones all saying the white people are the devil.”.

We got to keep this operation afloat people! Now it's time to buy my new battle grade Infowars Tactical Helmets! Just $149.99 and they can protect your head from all the leftists you will encounter at your protest rallies! They can be fitted to fit any size head whether you’re a six or a 10. In fact we have experts here to tell you more why you need this! But this isn’t the only crazy thing that happened this week. So you know Jimmy Kimmel has been railing on the GOP in regards to health care. Well, here’s the monologue.

Well, if you saw Alex Jones or the Alex Jones Channel…

Jimmy Kimmel has been going after Sen. Bill Cassidy (R-La.) for a health care plan that is likely to leave millions more people uninsured.

In May, Cassidy appeared on Kimmel’s show after the comedian’s infant son underwent surgery for a preexisting heart condition, and assured the talk show host that any Senate health care legislation would pass what he deemed “the Jimmy Kimmel test.”

That now doesn’t seem to be the case, which is why Kimmel attacked Cassidy this week during his show monologues.

Now, crackpot conspiracy theorist Alex Jones is going after Kimmel.

On Thursday, Jones went on one of his typical unhinged rants, this time to tell the ABC late-night host to stop using his son to “pimp” Obamacare.

I like that one! But would you be surprised at all to see Alex and guy who watches Inglorious Basterds and roots for Hitler, Jack Posobiec, go full racist? And you never go full racist!

ALEX JONES (HOST): You’re supposed to get on your knees at midnight or in the early morning and tell God you repent on things you’ve done. You don’t tell in a football stadium, “Mainstream media: you’re my God, I am bad, tell me what to do.” That is sick.

JACK POSOBIEC: And you realize they’re not taking a knee to Trump, so I’d love to talk to any one of these guys and say, “Who are you taking a knee to? Who specifically do you have in mind when you’re taking that knee?”

JONES: They’re kneeling to political correctness and hating white people.

POSOBIEC: That’s all it is.

JONES: They’re kneeling to white genocide --

POSOBIEC: And they won’t admit it.

JONES: -- and then I don’t want anybody to be genocided (sic). But everywhere it’s: “Kill the whites, kill the whites.” The universities: “No whites can come on campus.” It’s a bunch of weird white people going, “We need to kill all the white people.” Just everywhere. Hillary: “We lost because of white people.” It’s the most racist, weird, anti-Martin Luther King crap I’ve ever heard. Martin Luther King would say, “You people are crazy.”

There you have it. Not only did Alex Jones make up a new word - "genocided", racists are now quoting one of the greatest civil rights leaders of all time. Bravo. Well done. Yeah so Alex Jones and Jack Posobiec both bought the "white genocide" meme and went full on racist. But now the tables are turning on Alex Jones! Mmmmm… Hmmmm… Yes my pretties! You know that old adage “they hate us because they ain’t us”? Alex might want to look that phrase up because his ex wife is a hater:

Keeping up with these Joneses is a contact sport.

Kelly Jones, the long suffering ex-wife of conservative firebrand Alex Jones, is fighting back against the “InfoWars” host with a media campaign of her own.

At 3 p.m. on Wednesday, Kelly plans to launch her new website alexjonesx.com, which will detail her ongoing custody battle with the blustering conspiracy theorist.

“I’m going to point out all of his horrible outrageous behavior, but I’m not out to disparage the man,” she tells us. “He is the father of my children. I’m standing up to the bully.”

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Oh guess what time it is? It’s time for this!

So by now you know people are people and people are dumb. And there’s a lot of stupid people. So much that we’ve all but made this a Top 10 regular feature by now. And first let’s go to the Beatles’ hometown of Liverpool, England. And I love a good road rage story, but if there’s one take away from this story – don’t fuck with British drivers!

Neil Junglas from Hunts Cross, Liverpool, decided to get his own back on the driver of a silver Skoda that has been outside his house for two days.

He said he was making dinner for his daughter on Tuesday when he saw the car pull up and a woman then climb into a taxi.

Neil claims a man then got out of the car with two suitcases of luggage and also got in to the taxi before it drove off.


Next up – sticking in London, you know the highways are always a dangerous place, especially for motorcyclists. But maybe, no, really, don’t do this.

A motorcyclist who performed wheelies and took a selfie while driving on the M6 has been jailed for eight months.

Pawel Zietowski, 27, was filmed by an unmarked police patrol for 16 minutes as he used his thighs to steer the bike and even rummaged through a backpack to find a mobile phone.

He was also given a driving ban of 28 months at Stoke-on-Trent Crown Court.

Central Motorway Police Group (CMPG) said officers filmed Zietowski in June between junction 12 and Stafford services.

Next up in People Are Dumb – failed movie stars! So if you know anything about celebrities, you know that Steven Segal is a huge celebrity in Russia. Well, you be in the least bit surprised about this?

Steven Seagal, who was granted Russian citizenship by President Vladimir Putin, says anyone who believes Moscow fixed the 2016 presidential election is “stupid.”

“For anyone to think that Vladimir Putin had anything to do with fixing the elections or even that the Russians had that kind of technology, is stupid,” Seagal said Wednesday on “Good Morning Britain.”

“Let’s be really honest — every country is involved in espionage. Every single country,” the star of “Under Siege” said. “The Americans spy, the British spy, the Russians spy. We all spy on each other, let’s be honest.”

Special counsel Robert Mueller is currently investigating Russia’s meddling in the U.S. election and any potential ties between President Trump’s campaign staff and the Kremlin.

Read more: http://thehill.com/blogs/in-the-know/in-the-know/352646-steven-seagal-says-anyone-who-believes-russia-fixed-election-is

Yeah nothing to see here people, just move along! Next up – stupid criminals. And one of my favorite types of stupid criminals – police impersonators. And we go to where else but Florida for this story:

Man facing slew of charges used a relative’s Marion County Sheriff’s Office uniform, drove his patrol vehicle, made a traffic stop and reported an altercation to another agency.

An 18-year-old man who, authorities say, used his uncle’s Marion County Sheriff’s Office patrol car and uniform without permission and made a traffic stop and issued the driver a warning has been arrested and charged with grand theft of a motor vehicle and impersonating a law enforcement official, among other counts.

Isael Ibrain Lima was arrested at 10 a.m. Monday by detectives with the MCSO Property Crimes division.

According to agency officials, detectives were called Sunday to investigate a possible burglary at the home of deputy Yoandy Miranda.

Miranda said he had left town for a couple of days and came home to discover that someone had entered his locked bedroom. He said his patrol vehicle also had been entered. Nothing appeared to have been stolen from the home or the vehicle, he said.

What’s next? Well we’re sticking in Florida because why not? And another one of my favorite types of stupid criminals – 911 fails!

It might not be wise to be this blunt with the po-po.

An unidentified guy called cops to report a break-in at his Vero Beach residence, saying someone stole all his blunts, a cellphone and five bucks ... all in quarters, reports the Sebastian Daily.

When questioned by officers about the blunts, the dude wouldn't give up any more information, according to the report.

When asked if he had any documentation to support the loss of his stolen stuff, the man just said it "was like $150.00," officers said.

Finally this week – we’ve got yet another story in Florida. This time we go to Orlando where a convenience store clerk who has earned the nickname “Clint Eastwood” shot at yet another customer! Why is the first instinct always guns?
COCOA, Fla. —

A Cocoa store owner said he chased off a would-be thief at gunpoint this Wednesday morning and forced the man to give back stolen beer.

This is the fifth time that store owner has used his gun in defense of his store and himself.

Store owner Sowann Suy temporarily closed his store after another shooting.

Suy said he fired a warning shot at a man after the attempted thief tried to beat him up and steal some beer.

A witness said the man came out of the door with a beer in each pocket, and Sowann was right behind him with his gun.

That’s it for:

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[font size="8"]World Tour Destination #15: New York
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Part of our mission statement here at the Top 10 Conservative Idiots is to show you that conservative idiocy isn’t just a problem with America. No, it’s a global problem that is stemming far and wide, and it’s not just America where conservative idiots ruin everything they touch. And if you’re thinking of moving out of the United States just because Donald J. Dotard Trump is our current president and our nation is turning to shit, you should know what it is you’re getting into should you decide that you want to leave the country. So if you want a recap of where we’ve been so far, in the last few weeks we’ve discovered that South Africa’s racists make ours look like chumps, Argentina is an environmental nightmare but has some good politics, and Brazil’s batshit fucking crazy. This week we’re coming home for some much needed R&R before we head out to Asia, the Middle East, and Australia! Here’s the tour schedule:

[font size="6"]New York[/font]

We need some music for this one! Can we get some music please?

Ah yes who doesn’t love Alicia Keys? Well we’re back home everybody! And what better place to talk about than my home away from home, the great state of New York! New York has tons to do, see, visit, like the Baseball Hall Of Fame in Cooperstown. And while there, grab a pint at the venerable Ommegang Brewery, which brewed the official beer for the hit TV show Game Of Thrones! As if I didn’t need a beer to watch Game Of Thrones, but I’ll take one, thanks! You want sports teams? New York has got them – of course the MLB’s Yankees need no introduction, but there’s also their Bronx neighbors, the New York Mets. Football? They’ve got the NFL’s Giants and Jets – and they are forced to share the same room, and as always have a bit of sibling rivalry going on. Basketball? There’s the worst team in basketball, the New York Knicks, and its’ slightly worse and easily forgettable cousin, the Brooklyn Nets. Soccer? There’s the New York Red Bulls. Hockey? They got the New York Islanders and the New York Rangers, which also share the same stadium. College? New York is home to the Metro Atlantic Athletic Conference which includes Monmouth, Iona, Siona, and Quinnipiac Universities. You might see them on ESPN and wonder who are these teams again? How about concerts? New York is home to Broadway and the legendary Radio City Music Hall and Madison Square Garden. There’s also tons of great indie rock bands and actors that are from this state. Too many to name, almost! New York is also home to some of the world’s largest financial institutions, and it’s also home to the United Nations, or maybe it won’t be after Dotard Trump gets done with it. It’s also home to the legendary Museum Of Modern Art and Museum Of Natural History, as famously profiled in the hit comedy “Night At The Museum”:

RIP Robin Williams. *record screeches* Wait, didn’t we already cover the states in our Stupidest State contest? Yes we did, but we left out on purpose the two states the GOP loves to hate the most – California and New York. So what is New York the home of? Well they’re reason why a new Constitutional Convention would be utterly disastrous:

New Yorkers make progress. It’s what we do. It’s not always easy—in fact, it seldom is. Every progressive victory in New York history has been hard-won, and, in November, New Yorkers must once again choose progress. Every 20 years, New York voters decide via referendum whether we want to rewrite our Constitution with a constitutional convention. Proponents argue that a convention is the only way to reform Albany. That just isn’t true. The Constitution has already been amended more than 200 times since 1894, with another two amendments proposed for this coming November alone. A constitutional convention would threaten every progressive reform ever adopted by the state of New York. The new Constitution would be written by 204 delegates, and those delegates would be chosen by political machines with the money and influence to get their people elected. During the last convention, less than 10 percent of the delegates were African-American or Latino. It was dominated by judges, legislators and other political insiders. Average people can’t compete. That convention targeted every public resource and freedom in New York, and there’s no reason to think this convention would be any different.

And when you think of gambling where pops up immediately? Vegas and Atlantic City, and maybe the occasional place in Europe like Monaco or Montenegro, but Buffalo, New York has a thriving gaming industry that’s just as corrupt as you might expect:

BUFFALO — This was to be a year of celebration for New York’s booming gambling industry, with gleaming new casinos opening, rapturous bettors flocking in and a win-win for the state, and a torrent of new taxes pouring into government coffers at no cost to anyone but the bettors themselves.

But like casinos — where glitter often hides the grime — the reality has been far less glamorous, with underwhelming returns, evidence of industry cannibalization and a new, sharp-edged conflict between the state and a major tribal gambling operation.

In 2013, Gov. Andrew M. Cuomo signed a law allowing for seven new, full-scale casinos in New York, hoping to revive economic activity and providing new tax revenue in moribund upstate areas. Before that, the state had only licensed so-called racinos, which are connected to racetracks and feature video lottery terminals — similar to slot machines — but no table games like blackjack and craps.

So far that expansion has indeed led to some $70 million in new gaming tax and ample jobs at new facilities and constructions sites, according to casino operators. But early returns from two casinos that opened in February have been weaker than projections, according to the most recent figures posted by the New York State Gaming Commission.

Well not for this piece they’re not! We love New York here, and I come to the east coast quite often. But then there’s the thing that republicans love to hate the most – the budget. And New York’s incompetence on this subject is quite spectacular.

ALBANY, N.Y. (AP) – A new report from a fiscal watchdog group is slamming New York State’s financial practices.

The Chicago-based group Truth in Accounting gives the state a grade of “F” in its new 50-state analysis of government spending and budgeting.

Specifically, the report’s authors faulted New York for its relatively high pension and health care obligations, as well as its high tax burden.

Speaking of incompetence knowing no boundaries – there’s Equifax. We already covered Equifax a great deal in this edition but the state of New York was hit the hardest by that. The data giant has been accused of not following cyber rules according to Gov. Cuomo:

WASHINGTON/NEW YORK (Reuters) - New York Governor Andrew Cuomo said on Monday that he wants credit-reporting firms to comply with the state’s cyber-security regulations, the latest government official to crack down on the industry in the wake of the massive Equifax hack.

Also on Monday, Bloomberg News reported that federal authorities have opened a criminal probe into stock sales by three Equifax Inc (EFX.N) executives before the company disclosed the massive data breach, news that has weighed heavily on the stock price.

The company has said the executives were unaware of the hack when they sold the stock for $1.8 million.

Equifax’s legal woes worsened as the U.S Attorney’s office in Atlanta issued a statement saying it was working with the FBI on a criminal investigation into the breach and theft of personal information.

I believe Equifax’s reasons for not compiling with the rules are 1) cooking a French bread pizza, and 2) simply forgot. And you know we can’t go to New York without going to New York City. Thank you audience! So Turkish Prime Minister and guy who could school the republicans on how you stage a coup, Tayyip Erdogan, gave a speech in NYC last week, and here’s how it was met – New York style!

Violence broke out at a New York hotel Thursday afternoon when protesters disrupted a speech by President Recep Tayyip Erdogan of Turkey.

In the middle of Mr. Erdogan’s speech, delivered in Turkish, a man — one of a handful of protesters — screamed in English: “You’re a terrorist. Get out of my country!” The ballroom at the Marriott Marquis hotel in Times Square instantly erupted, with many attendees chanting Mr. Erdogan’s name to drown out the protesters.

Videos showed the protesters — one of them wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with a picture of Michael Israel, an American who was killed in a Turkish airstrike while volunteering with the Kurdish People’s Protection Units, or Y.P.G. — being punched and slapped by several attendees as security personnel removed them from the room. Security also removed at least one person who had assaulted the protesters.

And do what, exactly? Eh… Tracy I don’t know. But one thing we do know – New York City *IS* the home of Dotard Trump Tower.

New York congressman Adriano Espaillat, City Council President Melissa Mark Viverito and other lawmakers have been arrested in a protest outside Dotard Trump Tower.

They were fighting President Dotard Trump's decision to end the DACA program, which protected immigrants who arrived in the U.S. illegally as children.

Espaillat's spokeswoman confirmed to News 4 he was arrested.

"Since day one, the Dotard Trump administration has threatened Latinos, Muslims, LGBT, women, and the list continues. His decision to end the DACA program earlier this month increased the urgency of what's at stake and the lives at risk when we fail to speak out against racism in America," spokeswoman Candace Randle Person said.

Source: NY Lawmakers Arrested in Protest Outside Dotard Trump Tower - NBC New York http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/Espaillat-Mark-Viverito-Arrested-DACA-Protest-Dotard Trump-Tower-445780453.html#ixzz4tQpFQnnk

[font size="6"]The Verdict & Scorecard[/font]

New York is a great place to visit (I’ve been there many times) and a pretty good place to live – especially upstate. Unfortunately not even the perceived liberal utopia can escape the toxic political climate of Dotard Trump.

Tourism: A
Culture: A
Political Spectrum: C
Liberal Appeal: B+

Overall: B+

[font size="6"]Next Week[/font]

I am coming home people! I get to spend approximately… one week in my home state of California! Whew!!!! Then after that we are off to the Land Of The Rising Sun, Japan!

[font size="8"]And Now This:[/font]
[font size="8"]Gogol Bordello[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, who better to represent the great state of New York than a band that encompasses everything that makes NYC great? I’m of course talking about our good friends Gogol Bordello! They have a great new album called “Seekers And Finders”. Playing the title track from that album, give it up for our good friends Gogol Bordello!

Wait, they want to stick around for one more? Sure!

Yeah how about that?

See you next week!

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Reply Top 10 Conservative Idiots #3-15: Diary Of A Wimpy Trump: Dotard Days Edition (Original post)
Initech Sep 2017 OP
malaise Sep 2017 #1
Cuthbert Allgood Sep 2017 #2
Initech Sep 2017 #3
underpants Sep 2017 #4
Initech Sep 2017 #5

Response to Initech (Original post)

Wed Sep 27, 2017, 05:13 PM

1. Nice to see you back

Get thee to the greatest page

Off to read

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Response to Initech (Original post)

Wed Sep 27, 2017, 05:15 PM

2. Dotard says what?

Great stuff here.

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Response to Cuthbert Allgood (Reply #2)

Wed Sep 27, 2017, 06:37 PM

3. What?

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Response to Initech (Original post)

Wed Sep 27, 2017, 06:42 PM

4. You make many words

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Response to underpants (Reply #4)

Thu Sep 28, 2017, 12:06 AM

5. I did have a lot of fun with "Holy Shit" this week!

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