Jeff Sessions: "Ah wiyush ta ameyend mah earlier sworen statemunt"

[MineralMan]

"I diyud know of culusion discushuns, but hayud misrecullected."

[FSogol]

1. I do declare!

[MineralMan]

3. Y'all have misspayelled "declayah"

[Ilsa]

2. Uh-gin?

Lock him up.

[Aristus]

4. If anyone is interested in arresting Scarlett O'Sessions,

he's on the verandah fanning himself and drinking a mint julep.

[MineralMan]

5. Ah don't know nuthin' about talkin' to no Rooshen!

[MLAA]

13. He needs the julep onna count of still recovering from Sen Kamala Harris making him ne-vous

[samnsara]

6. bless his heart....

[NCTraveler]

7. .

[stopbush]

8. Lying for Jesus is a time-Honored Christian tradition.

[PearliePoo2]

9. You nailed Beauregards little wrinkled ass!

I totally picture him saying these words!

[MineralMan]

10. Oh, I wish I could actually do that...

Sadly, he's out of my reach.

[brooklynite]

11. In the Congressional biz, they call it "revise and extend my remarks".

[MineralMan]

12. Yup, the old "lie and retract later" gambit.