Here's an Idea: What if Men Spoke Out in the Workplace and Elsewhere When

[MineralMan]

others engage in sexual banter and sexual joke-telling? What if some guy in the room said, "Hey, knock that off. It's inappropriate?"

What if they did that, even when there were no women within earshot? Wouldn't that be refreshing?

What if everyone extended that to speaking out when bigotry, racism, misogyny and other negative views were expressed, either in jokes or in statements? What if they did that, even when people who are the target aren't present?

Now, there's an idea that should have universal support here on DU, I think.

[RobinA]

1. Why Just Men?

Why not everybody?

[MineralMan]

6. In the first example, I called out men.

In the second, I said "everyone."

[Eliot Rosewater]

2. In my world the slightest inappropriate comment about women, brown people or

religion etc., is dealt with instantly.

It RARELY happens in my world because those I choose to be with simply wont do or say that shit.

But so what, that is me, many out there are stuck in environments where it is tolerated and often encouraged.

SPEAK OUT! always!

[snooper2]

3. why don't you change "men" in your title to "adults"

Should I have spoken out when a female Manager made a Jewish joke about herself a couple weeks ago? (She is half Jewish)

[MineralMan]

9. I offered two examples. In the first, I named men, because there's

a lot of that kind of crap going on when there are no women around. In such situations men need to speak out.

In the second example, which was about bigotry of all kinds, I said "everyone."

[infidel621]

13. I would say no but

it can be easily argued that other people would be offended and since you said manager, I can assume it was in a workplace so again possibly inappropriate. In the workplace I do agree with keeping things professional but outside the workplace with friends it's a different story. Just about anything will offend someone, you say the wrong word rather than it's socially correct alternative (retarded/mentally challenged) and someone is going to have a problem. Just look at DU and how many posts are reported on, some deserving and others I have to wonder why. I guess I struggle with what people find offensive because I often just don't get it. Nothing really offends me and I cannot understand how others can so easily be offended.

[B2G]

4. Here's another idea.

If you don't know how to conduct yourself in a professional environment, you shouldn't be in one.

Man or woman.

[redstatebluegirl]

5. I went to the guy who owned our company he said "well you shouldn't be so well built".

[MineralMan]

7. Sheesh!

[redstatebluegirl]

8. That was in the 70's when this stuff was "ok" you put up with it or you lost your job.

[MineralMan]

10. Well, it was never OK, but it sure went on a lot.

[Doodley]

11. If I wanted to be unpopular, I would object when other people have a bit of fun banter.

I would be an office a***hole who would ruin the fun for others.

This extreme political correctness needs to stop right now, and it is used as a weapon by the right.

[mythology]

14. As opposed to the lovely behavior that is sexual harassment?

Telling people to not be jerks or commit sexual harassment doesn't make you an asshole.

[Doodley]

24. Banter is a consensual act. It is hardly harassment. Have you never bantered before?

[MineralMan]

16. So, being popular is the operant goal?

Maybe you could provide some examples of the kind of "fun banter" you're talking about. Then, I might understand...

[maxsolomon]

12. I don't get much opportunity at my workplace

Because no one says that shit. We're professionals. It's not a locker room.

I concentrate my efforts thusly:

I have, when appropriate, taken older superiors aside and told them their antiquated language caused offence.

I have re-directed meetings to women who were interrupted by men.

I have echoed and credited women who's good ideas were overlooked.

I have told women after meetings "yes, I heard that", and told them I'd have their back if they responded forcefully next time.

Empowering women is a team effort, and Men should be on the team.

[MineralMan]

15. It sounds like your workplace has a good culture in place.

It sounds like a good place to work.

[smirkymonkey]

18. Good for you. Thank you!

My company also encourages these behaviors as well, and does the same with minorities and LGBT. They realize how much it hurts all of us when harassment and abuse are allowed to go on unchallenged.

[maxrandb]

17. This man does

We had serious problems with sexual assault and harassment in the Navy, to the point where after serving 30 years, and loving just about every minute of it, that if my daughters had talked about joining the military, I would have advised against it.

It's taken years of heavy lifting and culture breaking, but by the time I retired, we were light-years ahead of where we started.

Granted, when you start in a "hell-hole" that we were in at the time, progress just means we can say "we suck less".

All that is to say that you are absolutely right!

All folks, men and women, need to be empowered to step-up and stop this shit when it happens. Especially in the case of harassment and sexual assault, it is the bystanders that can make a significant impact on stopping this.

Can we all admit that this is a delicate line to balance, though?

Many happy, healthy, loving and long-lasting relationships have begun in the workplace. I firmly believe that anywhere, whether it be in the office, the Ready Room on an Air Craft Carrier, or the Bridge of a Guided Missile Destroyer, if you put men and women together for long periods of time, some of them are going to have sex. Some may even fall in love.

We tried to ban dating in the Navy if you were at the same command, but realized that was not realistic.

We ended up enforcing the rules we could enforce, like no public displays of affection at work, no sexual contact at work, etc.

We were trying to build a culture where bystanders would step-in and help. If you saw a Sailor that was stinking drunk, and another Sailor was leading them back to their hotel room, bystanders would step in an stop that shit.

[MineralMan]

20. Absolutely. Lots of relationships begin in the workplace.

In most cases, the people involved keep their relationships to themselves at work. Many companies have rules about office romance, but usually, they're in place to prevent people in a relationship from supervising the other people in the relationship.

Since people spend much of their waking time working, it's only natural that relationships develop. It's not that difficult to keep the relationships from affecting business or work operations, though. Smart organizations have rules that help keep things from causing problems when relationships exist.

[ProfessorGAC]

19. I've Done It, MM

Of course, the reply is always "there's no women here right now"
My retort is that it doesn't matter. Can't talk like that at work!

[MineralMan]

21. I worked as a mechanic for a while in my father's auto repair business.

Like a lot of businesses like that, there are often groups of guys hanging around, drinking coffee or something. And so it was at my dad's shop. Every morning about 8 AM, half a dozen or so guys would show up for half an hour or so to drink coffee and chat for a while. Trading mild insults within the group was a typical thing.

But, that was also the time of day when high school kids were walking to school past the shop. My father was pretty strict about the use of profanity and other such nonsense around his shop. He had customers who might be offended and kept a lid on that.

However, there were sometimes comments about the teenaged girls walking by the shop, said quietly enough that the kids never heard them. That bullshit ended one day, when one of the men said, "Would you look at the ass on that one?" My father looked at the guy who said that and responded with, "That's your daughter, Smoky." That was the last comment ever made of that kind.

People are stupid a lot of the time. They say shit that they wouldn't say if they thought about it.

[Matthew28]

22. Freedom of speech

Is to defend unacceptable speech.

Some people need to grow a thicker skin.

[MineralMan]

23. Freedom of speech is also for criticizing other people's speech,

when needed. Freedom of speech only applies to government enforcement of limits on speech. It has nothing whatsoever to do with my equal right to speak up when someone says something hurtful. I also have freedom of speech.

Some people need to grow some thoughtfulness.

[MineralMan]

26. Now, that makes no sense at all.

Who said anything about being "humorless?" Your last sentence, though, simply makes no sense at all. Maybe you could write it in some other way. It sounds like you're saying that women like men who put them down. That has never been my experience, and I've been around for 72 years. Men who regularly put women down end up living alone.

[mercuryblues]

27. Do you know

how infuriating it is to write a lengthy reply, whittling it down to only 3 F words in it, then the post gets removed. LOL.

Don't think that guy will be here long if they can't figure out women don't find sexual harassment funny.