Pat Robertson Experiences Moment of Lucidity on the 700 Club, Apologizes

[EEO]

Pat Robertson Experiences Moment of Lucidity on the 700 Club, Apologizes
Source: The Nil Admirari

::SNIP::

"God, what have I done with my wicked life?" Robertson asked the Judeo-Christian deity he frequently launched fundraisers in the name of. The televangelist's eyes began to fill with water as he looked into the camera to address his son Gordon Robertson, a fellow 700 Club host who often filled in for him. "Gordon, I am so sorry that I turned you into the warped monster of avarice and hate you have become. I have completely failed you as a father and am ashamed to be the ring leader of this circus."

::SNIP::

"I'm not joking, Terry," snapped Robertson. The televangelist scowled as he turned to face Meeuwsen. "We are false prophets and healers, agents of hate, and self-righteous financial predators that prey upon the most weak and vulnerable segments of our society."

::SNIP::

At this junction someone off camera could be heard whispering "Pat stop" to Robertson, but the televangelist either could not hear his name being called or intentionally ignored it. "Take the Gospel of Luke for example," Robertson told the show's remaining viewers. "It tells us we should sell all of our possessions and give to the needy, and it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to reach heaven."

"And what do we do?" asked Robertson of God. "We give charity only on the condition people believe the same things we do and amass a shameful amount of wealth for ourselves. All the while we ignore the Gospel of Timothy, which tells us money is the root of all evil, and the Gospel of Mathew, which tells us we can only serve one master - either money or God. Well, I am a whore for money. We all know it."

[global1]

1. WoW!!!! Did This Really Happen Or Is This From The Onion?......

Is there a video of this? If so - please post.

[Fred Sanders]

3. It is parody, clearly. Can you imagine?

Robertson saying this?


"Take gay marriage. Legalizing it is a logical argument using the Constitution's Equal Protection Clause, as if our "True American" viewers even know what that is... We're talking about the freedom of two consenting adults who love each other and want to get married just like any other two consenting heterosexual adults can do," explained Robertson. His face was turning red as he continued, "But we don't talk about serious issues of freedom like informed citizens on this program. All we do is focus on something stupid like anal sex, as if many heterosexuals don't participate in it or it is universal in all gay relationships. And it's because our viewers are low-information people brimming with prejudices against their fellow man that we cannot discuss issues like adults. So we fleece them."

[EEO]

9. it would be spectacular.

[still_one]

2. I am skeptical

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

6. You should be. This is from a rather lame satire site.

[still_one]

7. Thanks

[EEO]

10. Aren't we a piilar of the community...

[oldandhappy]

4. amazing. source??????

In my wildest dreams I would not suspect this would happen.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

5. That's because it didn't. Nil Admirari is a satire site.

[oldandhappy]

8. OK Thank you. Did not know.

Appreciate you note.