"The Thing All Women Do That You Dont Know About"

[handmade34]

good stuff... my daughter and I have discussed this A LOT lately... this morning she politely said hello to a young man in passing and he responded with a "hello sweetheart!" she was fuming when she came back to the car and we discussed why she didn't feel as if she could respond as she wanted...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/gretchen-kelly/the-thing-all-women-do-you-dont-know-about_b_8630416.html?utm_source=nar.al&utm_medium=urlshortener&utm_campaign=FB

in part:

Hell, even though women live it, we are not always aware of it. But we have all done it.

We have all learned, either by instinct or by trial and error, how to minimize a situation that makes us uncomfortable. How to avoid angering a man or endangering ourselves. We have all, on many occasions, ignored an offensive comment. We’ve all laughed off an inappropriate come-on. We’ve all swallowed our anger when being belittled or condescended to.

It doesn’t feel good. It feels icky. Dirty. But we do it because to not do it could put us in danger or get us fired or labeled a bitch. So we usually take the path of least precariousness.

It’s not something we talk about every day. We don’t tell our boyfriends and husbands and friends every time it happens. Because it is so frequent, so pervasive, that it has become something we just deal with.

So maybe they don’t know.

[angstlessk]

1. Oh, I have to agree...we are facilitators and DEescalaters.

[safeinOhio]

2. May I offer a suggestion?

This is from an old (Medicare and SS) white male. The last thing I want to is offend you. My last job, working with the general public and trying to be nice to everyone, I learned there some things and old man needs to avoid saying to younger females. Never say "hello ladies". I didn't know and was not trying to be rude. Guess I learn fast, after a few evil eyes I asked an older lady and she not to say that. How was I to know. I've never wanted to be that old creepy guy.

So may I suggest that you try just being assertive and speak up in a normal voice and say to the person that is something we do not like said to us. That way we'd know. We'd would learn and everyone would learn.

[femmocrat]

4. That wouldn't offend me, but now that I'm older why does everyone call me "hon" or "dear"?

It is mostly younger women! I don't know these people and don't like their talking to me in such a familiar manner.

[safeinOhio]

5. Don't go to

South Carolina.

[treestar]

11. Delaware either

in fact there it is the women who use hon to talk to everybody of every age

[safeinOhio]

6. Might try this when someone calls

you hon. My name is Fem, what's yours?

[femmocrat]

7. LOL Good one! nt

[DesertFlower]

3. the owner of my pizza place is from NYC. we always chat.

one day when i was leaving he said "have a great evening sweetheart". i wasn't offended. it's not like he was a stranger.

[greymattermom]

8. Now that I'm Donald Trump's age

a lot of men call me "young lady". So is that ok? I think it's funny, not offensive.

[kebob]

9. "Sweetheart" is Offensive?

(Sigh), maybe I've just devolved as I've grown older.

[handmade34]

10. I think the keyword

is older... all comments can be relative to circumstances... in the post I was discussing my young daughter trying to just be friendly to a young man in passing... she said hello, he said how's it going sweetheart? ...that is not ok! and my daughter (an attractive young woman) was very uncomfortable... she is not his sweetheart and didn't want to be, just wanted to acknowledge another human being and be casually friendly... and much of her (and other women's) discomfort comes from years of putting up with a LOT of inappropriate words, gestures, touching, etc... there have been times when she has told me that is deciding not to say hello to a young man in passing, he retorts as she passes "what, you too good to talk to me?" or some such thing... "bitch", "nice ass", "hey, baby" etc....



...much different if someone addressed me with a kindly "sweetheart" it is all relative and perspective and with culture and age taken into account, people should know when such things are appropriate or not