Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Columbus Day - How Is That Still A Thing

[Playinghardball]

http://theobamadiary.com/

[geardaddy]

1. "beginning a long tradition of obnoxious white people...

visiting Caribbean islands and acting like they own the place"

[Spitfire of ATJ]

2. I got in trouble in grade school because of this asshole....

Arawak men and women, naked, tawny, and full of wonder, emerged from their villages onto the island's beaches and swam out to get a closer look at the strange big boat. When Columbus and his sailors came ashore, carrying swords, speaking oddly, the Arawaks ran to greet them, brought them food, water, gifts. He later wrote of this in his log:

They ... brought us parrots and balls of cotton and spears and many other things, which they exchanged for the glass beads and hawks' bells. They willingly traded everything they owned... . They were well-built, with good bodies and handsome features.... They do not bear arms, and do not know them, for I showed them a sword, they took it by the edge and cut themselves out of ignorance. They have no iron. Their spears are made of cane... . They would make fine servants.... With fifty men we could subjugate them all and make them do whatever we want.

http://www.historyisaweapon.com/defcon1/zinncol1.html

Parents were poisoning their own children to prevent them from falling into the hands of the Spaniards who used them as slaves.

By 1650 all of the Arawak people had been wiped out.

[RufusTFirefly]

3. Civilization just takes a little little longer to reach some cultures

The fact that the racial epithet long used to designate the football team in Our Nation's Capital is finally being recognized for its mind-boggling offensiveness is a good sign. Better late than never. Perhaps it won't be long before we stop dedicating a day to a syphilitic, genocidal imperialist.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

5. Maybe you're right, but I bought whiskey with a ponytail and got looks.

[RufusTFirefly]

6. Some things are racist, but being suspicious of pony-tailed whiskey buyers is just common sense

[Spitfire of ATJ]

7. It was once against federal law to sell us "firewater".

[RufusTFirefly]

8. Nothing like legislating against the symptom instead of addressing the core problem.

I hope my sarcastic message wasn't perceived as callous or disrespectful. If so, I meant no offense.
I guess I mistakenly thought the ponytail indicated that you were an aging veteran of Woodstock.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

9. That's cuz of the Hippy sandals.

[RufusTFirefly]

10. Exchange those sandals for a pair of Crocs, and they'd probably give you the stuff for free.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

11. Only if I add a fanny pack.

[RufusTFirefly]

12. I bet you can find some place that sells them as a set

Probably at considerable savings!

[Spitfire of ATJ]

13. Question: Why isn't MONDAY the 13th even worse luck?

[RufusTFirefly]

14. A lot of ominous things allegedly occurred on Friday

The Crucifixion, Eve's eating of the apple, the debut of The Brady Bunch, and the construction of the Tower of Babel. (The last was originally supposed to be completed the previous Wednesday, but as is often the case with construction projects, they went way over budget. Hence the delay.)

[Spitfire of ATJ]

15. I have the unaired final episode of "The Brady Bunch"....

It's the one where they're all murdered by Alice.

[RufusTFirefly]

16. I heard about that one!

Apparently, the principal sponsor for that episode was supposed to be Heinz Ketchup and after some heated back and forth in the boardroom, the network bigwigs decided that somehow it just didn't feel right. By the time the suits had a chance to corral a suitable focus group, America had moved on. Ann B. Davis talks about it wistfully on the DVD commentary.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

17. I missed this one...

http://carbolicsmoke.com/2009/05/29/tv-land-replays-lost-brady-bunch-episode-where-jan-falsely-accuses-greg-of-rape-and-mr-brady-shoots-him-to-death/#.VDyAsMGcFXQ

[RufusTFirefly]

18. C'mon! Is that all you got?

That's like the worst kept secret since Ernie and Bert.

[Spitfire of ATJ]

19. There was this...

[RufusTFirefly]

21. OK. You win. Uncle!

[WhoIsNumberNone]

4. Well, Madison Avenue likes it...

[Spitfire of ATJ]

20. I think Wall Street still uses the "hand over the gold or else" tactic.