Scientists Successfully Teach Gorilla It Will Die Someday

[Katashi_itto]

[roguevalley]

1. WTF? THEY KILLED HIS CAT TO DO THIS!

I hope I read this wrong. self awareness means full sentience. if they killed the cat to do this then the gorilla is the only sentient one in the room.

[rhiannon55]

3. The Onion News Network--

It's satire, thank goodness.

[roguevalley]

5. thank you. I guess it pays to read the

whole thing first. LOL! I feel better. You are good.

[ramblin_dave]

2. The Onion News Network

satire

[DawgHouse]

4. Poor Quigley!

"You someday. No choice."

The Onion is always entertaining!

[IHateTheGOP]

6. Next they will teach him religion

Next, Quigly will be turned over to evangelicals and be taught that he will rot in hell for eternity with no escape possible if he works on Sunday or wears pig skin.

[LiberalLovinLug]

7. The Onion is getting pretty slick

They are learning from Rupert Murdoch. With enough fake sincerity, and flashy graphics, people will believe anything!

I like how they even used a Jane Goodall look-a-like.