"THE GAMBLER" - Parody Don Caron

[niyad]

LYRICS to THE GAMBLER PARODY On a warm summer’s evening in July twenty-fifteen, a conman made a gamble: tried to build a wall of cards. He thought he’d won the payout on the day he got elected, but then came the new players and they were not trumptards. When he reached across the table to rake in all his winnings, a voice cut though the darkness and his anger was aroused. The words came from the Speaker making his life bleaker, when she told him that a joker could not beat her full House. She said, “You should not be bluffing when your deck is not a full one.” Her words just made him angrier so of course he doubled down. The night got deathly quiet and the silence made him shuffle. She knew that he would blink first ‘cause she wasn’t new in town. He didn’t know how to play 'em or what to say, when. Didn’t read the rules ‘cause he don’t know how to read. He just wiped a booger. It was classic Dunning-Kruger. He lacks the neural networks to know he can’t succeed. And every gambler knows the game cannot be won by stealing someone else’s cards to claim them as your own. When your back’s against the wall and you’re betting on the outcome, the best that you can hope for is to just be left alone. But he thinks he’s an ace player and the best that ever could be. He’s threatening to challenge her to another round. The stakes are high, but not for him. He doesn’t care who gets hurt, he only wants to win. He doesn’t know when to weigh in, stuck in his playpen, doesn’t know he tips his hand by the way he acts. He wants to be the big guy, the strong suit at the table, but he lacks the capacity to know that’s what he lacks. Doesn’t know what he’s sayin’, who he’s dismaying. Doesn’t know not everyone was dealt a diamond flush. So he stacks the deck for those who do not need it. He fills his hand with wild cards. He wants to win that much. Doesn’t know how to play 'em or what to say, when didn’t read the rule book about the deck he stacks He will always be a loser. It is classic Dunning-Kruger. He lacks the neural networks to know that’s what he lacks.