Pity Party

[Maine-ah]

yeah...happy fucking mother's day.

I know I'm not going to get mother of the year award, but like every other parent out there I do my best. I'm a good Mom. I'm a good daughter.

and for what ever reason...the husband didn't even bring my five year old daughter to get a card, or even make Mama a card this year.

So, as I do everyday, I sit here with my Mom, the oxygen concentrators puffing away, while her life slowly leaves her. I got Mom a bucket of roses, and this will be the last Mother's Day I will have with her. She's sleeping comfortably at the moment.

No need to reply. I just needed a private anonymous place to post my vent.

[MrMickeysMom]

8. Here....

If you have to make "wee-wee" on something.... GO here:

[blueamy66]

2. I'm sorry.

I wish you peace.

I don't like this day very much....Mom is gone.

[PassingFair]

3. Make sure your husband knows how hurt you feel, without being angry...

He should have sat down with the 5 year old and had her draw you a card.

I'm sure she would LOVE to make one for you.



It's only 10:00.....maybe he's doing something for you later.

[Rhiannon12866]

4. I lost my mother six months ago

After visiting her everyday for three weeks in intensive care. I don't know how much she was aware of me, but I know I was there and I hope she did. Today's tough for me, too, just had to get that out. Good for you for spending this time with your mother. I hope it brings you comfort later on.

[bluesbassman]

5. ...

[Phentex]

6. I'm sorry...

I feel guilty because I don't even want to call my mother. And I know there are so many people who are close to theirs and miss theirs but I barely feel related to mine.

Don't know if your husband has something planned for later but I hope the day gets better for you.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

25. Phentex, mine is long gone, but it was the same for me.

There was no r-ship, just very severe dysfunction.

I'm not having the best of days either.....no family, no one, no body.


yeah, I'm having a pity party here too, stuck in the sludge and having a hard time pulling out. If I drank, I'd at least have some idea of what to do with myself! Heh!

[crunch60]

29. Well BlancheSplanchnik, I am sending you a big happy person to person

greeting, If that's your doggie in the pic, he is adorable, you have a prize there.: I nominate you Queen for a day!

[BlancheSplanchnik]

30. Agh!!! Haaahahahha

Thank you crunch yeah, I was wallowing in it, alright (I remember Queen for a Day, from when I was very very little. Eek)

Was feelin beat up by several issues......gotta get back in the saddle and keep pushing forward.

and yes, that's my furry baby. Her name is Shrimpy, and she's actually smaller than she looks in that photo--she weighs 5 lbs., and that's including her fur.

She's the Princess. (Of course!, since I'm the Queen )

[Swede]

7. Venting is a good thing,Maine-ah.

Sorry you are having a trying day.

[GreenPartyVoter]

9. *hugs* I am so sorry.

[Kaleva]

10. Your post reminds me of what I didn't do when my mother was alive.

She died when she was relatively young and it would have been a very simple thing for me to spend a few minutes to send a card, make a call, or send flowers to her on Mother's Day which I never did.

Just talked to my ex on the phone and wished her a Happy Mother's Day. She said she's going to call her mother and grandmother later and I asked her to pass on my wishes to them which she said she'll do.

My mother's birthday and Mother's Day are ones I feel guilt. I was a worthless drunk in my late teens and the years I was an adult while she lived and she died a few years before I quite drinking and finally settled down.

Feel sorry about your situation. It's a just a simple thing to give a card. I wish you a very "Happy Mother's Day!".

[Baitball Blogger]

14. There are things that you can do now to remember her.

My mom always wanted me to plant a jasmine bush next to the patio. She said the smell at night was intoxicating. Well, how was I to know there were so many varieties? What I planted hardly bloomed and never smelled like much at all. Then a few weeks back I was walking by the plants in the garden center and a fragrance nearly knocked me off my feet. What's more, I remembered it from my childhood. Arabian jasmine. Well, I planted it yesterday and, unexpectedly, I felt a very close connection with my mom.

So, think about something that your mother would have liked you to do, and do it for mom.

[nolabear]

20. Beautiful story. Now I want a jasmine bush.

And I'll think of you.

[Baitball Blogger]

27. Make sure it's an Arabian jasmine.

[WillParkinson]

12. I'm sorry you're hurting...

[Baitball Blogger]

13. The important thing is that your daughter see how you treat your mother.

She will figure it out in time.

And, the day's not over.

[LaurenG]

15. Let your family know how you feel

and kiss and hug your mom. I wish a better day for you.

[riderinthestorm]

16. I wish I was there to wish you a happy day and give you a hug.

There's still time for your husband and daughter to come through (my husband just crashed into the house after speaking to some of our clients - all women - outside, grabbed the car keys and drove off muttering something about going to the store I'm sure he never gave this day a thought til this moment).

But if not, please know there's a whole DU community to rest your head on. Hopefully you can get some peace by knowing you've done the right thing by your mom.

[davsand]

17. Not all men "get" it, even some of the good ones.

I got no card, either. My husband is not, and never has been, into the whole Hallmark thing--be it Mother's Day or Birthdays. He tells me every day, however, how much he loves me, and when the inevitable "shit hits the fan" I know he's got my back. When I get frustrated and start to think I'm in over my head, he's the first one to step up and offer support. I think that all has meant a lot more to me than a card ever could.

I am not dismissing your feeling of sadness in any way, but I have to ask, are there are other blessings there that are not evident right now?




Please know that you ARE valued!





Laura

[hedgehog]

18. FWIW - Mother's Day was never a big deal in our house

when I was growing up. My mother and father were members of the Irish immigrant community and never latched on to that custom. So it is possible that there are other people out there who put Mother's Day in the same category as such holidays as Secretary's Day. Birthdays for adults were never big productions for us, either. My brother has married into a German American family, and birthdays are a big affair.

[nolabear]

19. I'm sorry sweetie. They're not all happy but they are all important.

Sadly, your husband seems to have the luxury of taking you for granted. You don't have that luxury with your mother. Your little one is the one that can remind you that you are a mother, and created this wonder that is a five year old girl who might be one herself one day. And this crazy thing called the human race, with all the pleasure and pain it entails, will go on.

Happy Mother's Day, Maine-ah. You matter.

[MiddleFingerMom]

21. ...

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[fizzgig]

22. love to you

[rainbow4321]

23. Can I join the party?

Because apparently, being out all night and partying with newly acquired friend trumps 21 yrs of motherhood.

My 21 yr old daughter went to a new friend's bday party last night, didn't get home til 4 or 5 am, slept in til an hour before she has to be to work ....leaving NO time for our pre-planned outing for Mother's Day brunch.

And all I got was her coming out onto our apartment patio where I was sitting and borderline crying (tried to hold it in but I could feel my nose and eyes getting red)....I was greeted with "Happy Mother's Day, for what it's worth...um, are you crying?". And then a half hearted apology for her not following thru with our plans: "You coulda woke me up".

She asked when I go into work tomorrow...I assume she thinks she will make up for today by wanting to do something tomorrow...but, to me, it won't.

So, I am going to wait for my eyes to dry out/get less red and then go do something on my own.

[dana_b]

24. I've had my own past pity-parties

over this day (and other days) and know exactly what you are going through.

[BlancheSplanchnik]

26. hey, I'm sorry you are sad...mad too, probably

I'm glad to see all the support though!!

don't hide how you feel! Let him know. It's not silly to want to be recognized----not silly to want love!!


(uh, if you feel you can't talk to him about it for some reason, that's something not to be ignored....)

[Dystopian]

28. I'm so very sorry~

Maine-ah~

Knowing that you are sad, and hoping to hear an update that the day ended differently...

Yet, if not....
Things are different today ... your family is dealing with the impending loss of your mother...
Not just dealing...living daily.
Today...Mothers Day is not as it used to be....

Please concentrate on ... and know...that what you are doing for your beloved mother is the most beautiful act of love ... and know that not many have had the gift of being there, and knowing it was the last Mothers Day to be had.... Most of us never knew it, and yet you are giving loving care until the end.

This in itself, speaks volumes.....
Wishing you inner peace...
My day was somewhat the same....yet not.

Beautiful Lady~

Much peace and love to you~

[mnhtnbb]

31. I'm sorry your day was so sad.

For what it's worth, I didn't get a mother's day card, e-mail, phone call, flowers...zip nada zilch from either
my 25 year old son or 22 year old son who was graduating college yesterday.

And on top of that? My husband 'forgot' our 27th anniversary on Friday.

So, yeah, it's not been a great weekend. You're not alone.