You know those retractable key devices that you hook on your belt

[LuckyCharms]

and you can have about 20 keys hanging on a cord that rewinds, and you can grab a key and pull it toward the lock, and then it retracts when you are done unlocking something important?

Know what I mean?

I got me one of those because people keep fucking with me, so I needed a deterrent. I just put some random old keys on the device.The way I see it, you don't mess with someone who is carrying all those keys around.

So to test it out, I went to the grocery store today and cut off some big guy in line. He started to approach me in an angry manner, so I grabbed a key and extended the cord toward him and said: "See these keys? Huh? See 'em"?

He got all sheepish and lowered his head and said "I'm sorry sir"

I said "Do you know who you're fucking with"?

Then I retracted the keys. That shit really does work.

[ProudLib72]

1. I don't know if I want to call bullshit or try it for myself

Heck, I'm 6'2" 245 lbs. I could probably just get away with it without the keys. (Why do we not have a "seriously considering this" emoji?)

[Major Nikon]

2. And here I've been using sex toys all these years

[mitch96]

4. "Is that a pistol in your pocket or................ oh never mind... nt

[Ferrets are Cool]

5. That may just be the

funniest comeback I've ever seen here. Touche`

[True Dough]

13. Ahem...

https://www.democraticunderground.com/10181187258#post13

[Doreen]

3. Maybe to be successful to show who you are with those things is to put them on

walk through a big business and they will never question you on any room you decide to go in. If you think about it us lowly custodians almost have unquestioned access to anywhere.....now that is power.

[LakeArenal]

6. ???

You cut in front of a dude just to do that?

I’m missing something.

[Flaleftist]

12. That's just how LuckyCharms rolls. nt

[TheCowsCameHome]

7. Maybe he thought you were the night custodian

Nobody fucks with them.

[Yavin4]

8. What's the right number of key you need to get respect? n/t

[Wounded Bear]

9. Yeah, they're great until they snap back and hit you in the nuts...

Try looking tough after that.

[MLAA]

10. 😝 lol

[Iggo]

11. I been reading this story to everyone I know who's cool.

You're a hit.

[kairos12]

14. Somewhat similar take is if you carry a clipboard around no one ever

questions what you are doing. Or whether you belong there. I've done it.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

15. Or connect your wallet to your belt with a shiny chain.

Nobody messes with someone with a chained wallet.