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Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsStudy Finds Average Squirrel Lives Through Human Equivalent Of 7 Action Films Every Day
FORT COLLINS, CORevealing new insights into the animals high-risk lifestyle, a study released Monday by zoologists at Colorado State University found that the average squirrel lives through the human equivalent of seven action films every day.
Before youve even sat down for lunch, a normal squirrel has already faced a dozen adrenaline-pumping experiences far more insane than all the Die Hard movies combined, said lead researcher Dr. Bryce Roper, noting that the rodents routinely engage in leaps between branches more death-defying than any Jackie Chan stunt and dodge predators more ferocious than the Terminator.
Being chased along rooftops in Istanbul as bad guys lean out of helicopters to gun you down is perhaps the closest a human could come to understanding the day-to-day life of a squirrel. Maybe multiply that by three and add in witnessing a villain kidnap your child after murdering your spouse, then youll get the picture.
The study also found that emotionally, the average squirrel experiences love 10 times more fiercely than Ryan Goslings character in The Notebook.
https://www.theonion.com/study-finds-average-squirrel-lives-through-human-equiva-1836993879
Demovictory9
(32,489 posts)for no apparent reason
LisaL
(44,980 posts)Cars are presumably their biggest predator.
ret5hd
(20,556 posts)liberalmuse
(18,672 posts)It came out of nowhere from a center island and it was all over before I could even act. I took this beautiful squirrel to the vets on the chance it had some life, but vets dont allow wild life through their doors, so I laid him/her to rest in my yard. It sucks accidentally killing a beautiful animal like that.
Hassin Bin Sober
(26,352 posts)I had no chance to miss him.
Demovictory9
(32,489 posts)Cirque du So-What
(26,025 posts)but I have yet to see a squirrel come back from the dead.
The obstacle tree course!
Zambero
(8,978 posts)It ran beneath a van directly in front of me and somehow made it unscathed to the other side. Not sure which 1-7 action film equivalent number that might have been, but it was fairly early in the day, so the critter in all likelihood was just getting warmed up for bigger and better things to come as the day wore on.
Fyrefox
(300 posts)Lives lived on the edge! Short, but full of passionate intensity. There are no old squirrel homes.