= new reply since forum marked as read
I barely made it home to my bathroom in time where I got sick. I am a total stomach reactor.
Then I just started doing dishes and cleaning just to distract myself. It helped to calm me down. I decided to unload here because I was too paranoid to talk to anyone at work. I will talk to some other friends later this week once I sort things out.
Thanks for understanding samnsara! 
I barely slept at all last night and was stressed out today so it was easy to make a dumb mistake. I hope I have have learned a lesson.
I don't have a history of doing anything like this, so I hope they will allow it to pass with an apology. Also, it's true, and I even think my boss thinks it's true, but he is responsible for keeping the peace on the team. I have seen him reprimand her many times for texting in meetings when she should have been paying attention or prioritizing personal things above work (he's usually very fair, unless someone is consistently below par). Anyway, thank you!
And since you'd already written an apology email you showed your boss that you were cognizant of your mistake ane sincere in wanting to rectify the situation. If you speak to the person to apologize, i would suggest just a simple I'm sorry, ask for forgiveness and plead a really bad day(s). And then be yourself, but be more careful about venting to coworkers! Stuff happens, don't worry too much about it. 
No gushing. She's a little bit of a head-case, so I really don't want to get into it with her too much. Just an honest apology and hope to move on. Thank you! 
When people find out what you really think and you never wanted them to know? Good lesson to learn about putting your real thoughts in writing. I think that's why I never kept a diary. 
From what I heard, they couldn't wait to unload her, and my current boss had his doubts all along. However, he is very compassionate, especially toward women who seem to have "issues" and I definitely think she does. I have seen him do this before and he really goes out of his way to give people the benefit of the doubt.
However, he even said to me tonight that we have to try to have some compassion for the stress she is under and give her some time and eventually, if she doesn't measure up, a decision will need to be made. I think he knows that she isn't going to make it but he is willing to give her a chance. She says she doesn't come in because she is too "stressed" and she needs time alone to concentrate (I saw the email she sent him). She's definitely a piece of work. Very manipulative. 
I am an idiot. I know that. 
I sometimes think being paranoid is a healthy way to react these days.
I'm not looking forward to tomorrow, but I guess they have to do the right thing by this person.
I was just too stressed and too tired. If I hadn't have been, I probably never would have made such a stupid mistake in the first place. Once I realized it, it was too late to hit "recall". I guess it serves me right. Maybe it will cure me of a bad habit. Thanks, Ohiogal!
("Stephanie, do you have those budget numbers ready?" or "Larry, is your sales report finished?"
should ALWAYS and ONLY go out on a personal email account.
All too often people use their work email as their general email, which is a truly crappy idea, especially as a lot of companies have clear-cut rules about how the work email is to be used. And then they're shocked when they find out management has been reading their emails, which is their perfect right.
All of my sanctimoniousness aside, you appear to have made exactly the kind of apology warranted I hope she's big enough to accept it.
person. The only thing is she kind of scares me a little. She's not the most stable person in the world. My boss said he would come in with us together. I kind of hope he does. Thanks Poindexter!
It's hard.
I've had my share of screw-ups at work. They never happened to involve emails, but that's because most of my working life occurred before emails, and the two or three jobs I had after email was there, I'd already figured out to totally separate work email from personal email.
Actually, I'm rather good at apologies. What I need to get a lot better at is not creating the situation that requires an apology.
That makes me feel better. I know this will pass eventually. I have honestly never screwed up this badly. Hopefully I never will again.
I won't again. It's not like I will never make a mistake again, but hopefully not one this big.
I will be honest. I do not have a lot of respect for this person, but I will apologize respectfully. I really did not want to hurt her. I don't dislike her, but it bothers me how she takes advantage of people. However, that is really none of my business I guess. That is between them and her. I will let them deal with it.
I guess I think when things like this happen, there is always a lesson. I don't know what will happen, but I honestly don't I technically did anything that was a major breach of protocol, just something that was ethically distasteful. I didn't lie, I didn't cheat. I didn't say anything that wasn't true. I did something that was in poor judgment, stupid and catty.
Thanks for your concern!
When I was in college I had a professor Schofield whom I nicknamed "Professor Scrotum" in my email.
I had no idea that the nickname showed up in his email......
He was really hard on me, but I had been calling him scrotum for two years before I realized he knew...
I was embarrassed and learned a big lesson in not sending (or texting) ANYTHING that I wouldn't want someone else to see.
Your situation sucks. Good for you on your apology. Hope the awkwardness from it goes away soon.
Last edited Wed Nov 13, 2019, 11:38 PM - Edit history (1)
...wish you could go back in time a few minutes.
How is it that someone who has only been on the job a couple of months can get away with not showing up for work so frequently? Competence, or lack thereof not withstanding, not showing up is usually cause for getting canned.
I suffer from a ridiculous excess of self-control, which has its own downside, but does tend to protect one from foot-in-mouth syndrome, whether spoken or written. I only ever win arguments when talking to myself in my car, and sometimes not even then. In my next life, I fantasize about coming back as a restaurant or movie critic, so I could be free to say, "That really sucks," not feel bad about saying so, and getting paid to say it. Might be fun. Restaurant critic would be better - I wouldn't want to watch a lot of crappy movies.
Hang in there.
I remember her first week, she asked me how often people come into the office during the week. Her first week! She was already looking for a way to stay home. We have a fairly flexible policy as far as core "in office" days/hours go and most people respect it, but she has abused it from the beginning.
However people who are on probation or having performance problems are usually required to be in 5 days per week. She's not on official probation in this position yet since she hasn't even been here long enough to go on it. She's maybe in 2 days per week and then not even the entire day. Nobody takes advantage that much. Not even the senior people.
Thank you!
... it's not your job to do that. However bosses usually know more personal details about employee absences, for example maybe her kids are sick, or something she's keeping to herself.
In light of the fact that the boss called you, I think it's reasonable that he asked you to apologize to her in person. That should be the end of it - really. Hopefully everyone learned something. I'm assuming you want to keep this job and stay on your boss's good side. Best of luck!
I got sick today after lunch and had to go home. I'm still feeling pretty ill over the whole thing. I will apologize tomorrow. Thanks!
There's an old adage that says when we openly criticize another human being, we're simply trying to elevate ourselves above them and make our self look a tiny bit better - which is egotistical and selfish.
I've also used the trick of asking myself "is this really my job?" Usually, the answer is NO and at work it's typically only the job of the HR Dept.
Keeps us out of trouble and we get to keep all our teeth.......
