Today I bought my staff doughnuts for breakfast and pizza for lunch.

[Aristus]

For a job well done this week.

They all thanked me. But I replied: "What makes you think I'm not just trying to kill you very slowly?"

[dewsgirl]

1. LOL..😊

[leftieNanner]

2. For that you would have brought them Donnie's Diet

KFC and Diet Coke!

Amiright?

[Aristus]

3. Well, it doesn't seem to be killing him.

Dude must have an iron vascular system...

[leftieNanner]

4. The process in "The Cask of Amontillado" took a while too, I would guess

He looks worse and worse every day.

[Aristus]

5. I played Montresor in a stage production of TCOA once.

What fun...

Anyone have an alcove in a remote crypt they're not using?

[leftieNanner]

10. That story gave me the creeps for a long time

The gradual realization of what is happening - brick by brick - is just horrible. Poe was a master.

[Aristus]

11. I was always confused as to why "the thousands injuries of Fortunato" were bearable,

but the unspecified 'insult' that drove him to the deed wasn't.

I would have walled him up after ten injuries; eleven, tops.

[leftieNanner]

14. The 16,000 plus "injuries" (lies)

of The Orange One certainly would push one to offer him a drink in the cellar.

[Aristus]

15. I've heard he doesn't drink. But hoisting a bucket of chicken under each arm

and walking down the cellar stairs wouldn't be too much trouble. He'd be in a food coma by the time the last brick was in place...

[customerserviceguy]

6. You're just a little bit wicked, aren't you?

You remind me of a title officer in Seattle that I knew over forty years ago. His assistant (called a secretary back in the day) had an office chair that was raised and lowered by twisting the chair relative to its base, instead of today's hydraulic air systems.

He gave his assistant's chair one turn a day, and didn't do so after a weekend. At some point, she realized she was typing with her hands almost as high as her face, then she started turning the chair back to raise it. Gary and everybody else in on the joke started laughing their asses off!

[Aristus]

7. A little bit? That's sweet.

I like to think I'm very wicked.

But my charm and boyish good looks let me get away with it...

[leftieNanner]

12. Wicked - with doughnuts

That's different.

My favorites are the sugar doughnuts from Johnnie's in Lafayette, California. Hot out of the fryer.

[Aristus]

13. Apple fritters for me.

I only have one every couple of months or so. They're just so incredibly bad for you...

[KY_EnviroGuy]

8. And I'll bet a smart-ass replied (in secret)....

"what makes your think we won't demand you feed us at least once a week, like forever?"

"If we're gonna die, we might as well save lunch money and die happy".......

[Aristus]

9. I said almost that exact thing!

I told them: "If coronavirus gets us all, at least we had doughnuts and pizza before we went."