Understand where people are coming from, as far as the hoarding. Most people are control freaks, but a disaster takes away all of their control. It scares them to death, yes, but it also threatens their sense of control over their lives. They can't tell a disaster what to do or where to go or to stay away or lock it out, or any of that. So they take control in what way they can: They find something they can control. Buying lots of TP makes them feel like they're at least in charge of THIS.
As for the worry about the virus: My mother got a great lesson in how you sort of have to roll with a disaster, and not let it get to you. She came to visit me when I lived in the Bay Area, about six months after Loma Prieta. And of course, early the first morning she was there, we had a little tumbler. Not much to worry about, maybe a 4.2. I didn't panic. I went to my toddler son's room right off and said to him, in a calm voice, "Earthquake!" He scrambled out of bed and went to the doorway to stand under it, like I'd taught him. Poor little guy may not have been sure how he got there, but there he was, with massive bedhead and barely open eyes. Told him to stay there until I got him, let me check on Grandmommy.
My mother was in the living room having coffee when we got a little aftershock.
"Is someone walking on the roof?"
"No, we're having an earthquake. You need to--"
At the very sound of the word, "Earthquake," my CRNA (anesthetist) mom lost it. "OMG, turn on the TV--Turn on the radio! People must be hurt! Dying! I need to find out if they need my help--I'll go to whatever hospital needs me most!"
"Mom, calm down. This is nothing. You can barely feel it."
"You don't know that! Find out what's going on!"
So I turn on the radio, and, what do we hear? Well, of course the DJs assured listeners the quake was small, nothing to worry about, to reassure listeners that they didn't need to panic. Then they opened up the phone lines for listeners to share their earthquake stories. Which is when Californians did what they always do after a baby tumbler: Laugh it off. Because the quake hit in the morning, several callers had some variation of, "I was on the can, man!" Or "My wife and I were doing it, and then the earth really did move!" And other crazy stuff like that.
My mother's eyes bulged, and she cried, "They're LAUGHING at this! How can they LAUGH at a time like this?"
"Because it's obviously not a serious earthquake, and they're relieved that it's not. They're letting go of their initial fear by laughing at it."
It took her about an hour to calm down and realize--you can't control these things, so it's useless to panic. And if there's a silver lining to something bad, hone in on that. Like how nobody had been seriously hurt, or, worse, killed, during that earthquake. All things considered, especially so soon after Loma Prieta, that was something worth holding on to. We could let go of the fear and get back to a normal life.
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Even when life has its difficulties and challenges, the world still has good things in it, things that make it worth living. I didn't have family in the old country that survived the Holocaust, but I've known plenty of people who did survive it. When you ask what it was that kept them going, survivors always mention something about clinging to the good that they did have, against all the odds, "I had my brother with me, still, and that gave me hope." "Every new day was special to me, because it was a day that I was still here, despite Hitler." There's a lesson in that. Even when the world is at its worst, what keeps good people going is being able to appreciate anything good they do have left.
So consider all that you're grateful for: People you care about, maybe you have pets you care about, and all those interests and hobbies (a garden, books, music, art, knitting, house remodeling shows on TV--whatever). Have you realized that what's making you upset right now is that you don't want to lose any of them or have them suffer in some way because a psychopath with zero human compassion wants to tear down everything in sight? That's what makes you human! You're angry and upset because the most irredeemable piece of shit ever foisted on humanity is in charge now, and threatening everyone and everything you care about. And you know what? You should be angry and upset about that! You wouldn't be normal if you weren't.
So stop beating yourself up about being angry, and the guilt you have for feeling that way--which is a huge part of why you're feeling so much despair right now. You're upset with yourself for being angry, rather than understanding what your anger is telling you. Instead, EMBRACE YOUR ANGER. Stop thinking it's a bad thing, because it's not. You've been LIED TO that anger is bad, when anger is the warning that something is very wrong and you need to do something about it. And it doesn't have to be destructive action. Most of the time when you're angry, what you do to set things right isn't destructive--except to the wrongdoer. Are you even aware that things like civil rights, gay rights, women's rights and so on all started with anger? It was anger that had Rosa Parks refuse to give up her seat. It was anger that had all those people sit at lunch counters, and take Freedom Rides and risk jail and fire hoses and dogs turned on them to protest. Anger at injustice. Anger at being abused. Anger at having all of the responsibilities of being part of a civil society, but none of its rights.
Anger has done more to change the world for the better than any other emotion we have. Nay, it's the only thing that ever has, because it's what gets us off our asses to fight back for our survival and that of all we care about.
So be angry, but channel it into something positive. I don't care what it is, as long as it's constructive action. Call your legislators. Write a song. Organize a boycott. Or, if you're simply feeling overwhelmed in the moment, take a walk or hug your kids or pet. There's always something you can do to turn your anger into an action that helps or makes the world a better place.
That's how you cope in a world that has lost its collective mind. You get angry--and then do something to change what's making you angry. For the better.
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