I have an itchy nipple

[LuckyCharms]

and scratching it with this hacksaw blade is not helping it.

Maybe I'll start patting it with the back of a spoon...that's it...I'll use the back of a spoon.

Thanks.

[LakeArenal]

1. Need a hand?

[LuckyCharms]

5. Yes, you can use the spoon.

[LakeArenal]

8. Can I BMO spoon?

[LuckyCharms]

13. Only if there's no food on it.

[LakeArenal]

15. ✔️

[Frasier Balzov]

2. I sense that this is a metaphor for something.

[LuckyCharms]

6. No, it really itches.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

3. Which one?

[LuckyCharms]

4. left

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

12. Oh, well, that's different.

You should be using a grapefruit spoon.

[LuckyCharms]

14. How about a cheese grater?

[Cirque du So-What]

7. Let a baby alligator gnaw on it

Worked for me.

[LuckyCharms]

10. I don't have one, but there is a snake living in my mulch.

I hope he's willing to help.

[Cirque du So-What]

16. You can finally get that piercing you've always wanted

[634-5789]

9. That's odd...

Itchy Nipple is running out if the 5 hole, Race 7 at Aquaduct today...what are the odds?

[LuckyCharms]

11. Bet it all!

[Baked Potato]

17. Don't forget to freeze the spoon.

[LuckyCharms]

30. Can I just freeze the nipple and keep the spoon at

room temperature?

[cayugafalls]

18. A Spork will work better, you can pat, then scratch.

[LuckyCharms]

29. I almost got arrested for doing that once.

[OhZone]

19. Why not use this?

Oh, maybe I've said too much.

[LuckyCharms]

20. How would that bidet help?

[OhZone]

21. Ha!

It's a goat milker.

[LuckyCharms]

28. Whew! That's a relief!

[Midnight Writer]

22. Honest to God, that is a sign of breast cancer. Itching about one to two inches below the nipple.

Happened to a friend of mine, so I studied up.

He had been itching for a year, then noticed a swelling and a lump. It was prevalent enough that people noticed and remarked about how he was always scratching that spot.

Finally mentioned it to his doctor, and found out he had breast cancer. He is currently in treatment.

[LuckyCharms]

27. Fantastic! I was hoping for another illness.

I hope your friend does well.

[Harker]

23. How many do you have?

[LuckyCharms]

26. 1.5

[hunter]

24. If you post a photo the post will be hidden.

This I have learned here.

[LuckyCharms]

25. Thanks! I was going to post one but I thought it would be hidden.

Since you know from experience that it won't be hidden, I'll post it in a few minutes.

[hunter]

31. I've also posted pictures of my naked ass here on DU.

So far as I know they are still out there.

Maybe on archive.org or somewhere.

[LuckyCharms]

32. Because of DUer Hunter's encouragement HERE IS PIC

of the hand I have been using to scratch it. Please excuse the filth...I've been staining. And my nails grow so fast I have to cut them about once a week...haven't done that yet. I'll post a pic of the nipple after I do a few bong rips.

[JustFiveMoreMinutes]

33. YOUR fault, not mine: Joke: Bag Boy Helping Lady with Her Groceries to Her Car

The bag boy was handsome, nice build, great arms, and dimples and all smiles.

She couldn't help but be turned on and since she was single, nothing to worry about...

Soooooooo...

On the way to the car, she leaned into him and whispered "I've got an Itchy Pussy".

The young man sighed and answered, "Listen lady all these foreign cars look the same to me, you'll have to point it out!"


... and I'll show myself to the door!

[Lady Freedom Returns]

34. Got a cat?

Last edited Tue Sep 29, 2020, 05:03 AM - Edit history (1)

I'm sure they would like to help!
*Disclaimer: Having a cat help scratch such a sensitive area may result in a 911 call.*

[Kali]

35. belt sander

[LuckyCharms]

36. What grit paper?

[Kali]

37. coarse - 24 or 36

you want to relieve an itch, not polish

[LuckyCharms]

38. Yikes! I didn't even know they made a 24.

[Kali]

39. me either

wonder what it looks like in person

https://www.harborfreight.com/9-in-x-11-in-24-grit-garnet-sanding-sheets-7-pk-60293.html?cid=paid_google

[Kali]

40. another option

[LuckyCharms]

41. I should have a cow head butt me in the nipple?

[Kali]

42. better than patting with a spoon, I would think

[LuckyCharms]

43. Any particular type of cow?

[Kali]

44. de-horned or natural muley (polled)

unless you are interested in enlarging your navel.

[LuckyCharms]

45. My navel is already large enough to

hide a 6 ounce can of V-8 juice in. I tried in once to see if it would fit. It did. That was 6 years ago.

It's still in there.

[Kali]

46. regular or spicy?

[LuckyCharms]

47. Linty.

[UTUSN]

48. Long handled mechanic's tire brush - reaches anywhere (perfect back scratcher)

Fun fact, Napoleon had his massages topped off with brush downs!1

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.amazon.com/Adams-20-Fender-Tire-Brush/dp/B005DTIP2S&ved=2ahUKEwi1lr_Q3I3sAhUDIKwKHYYxBhIQqa4BMAB6BAgQEAU&usg=AOvVaw0JjDDZTAv-fH--RsiaTAbu

[smirkymonkey]

49. Try a cheese grater.

I always find that works very well for me.