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Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsHow many really best friends do you have???
My two are gone......my sister who died of melanoma, and my one really, really best friend died of breast cancer. I got no one. Just asking who do you have as your really, really best friend.
CottonBear
(21,613 posts)Two who Ive known since grade school and one since college.
a kennedy
(31,427 posts)CottonBear
(21,613 posts)I am so grateful to have my DU friends here!
Please take care and know that you have a friend in me!
a kennedy
(31,427 posts)onecaliberal
(35,100 posts)I havent seen a lot of the other one because of covid
a kennedy
(31,427 posts)onecaliberal
(35,100 posts)MaryMagdaline
(7,583 posts)a kennedy
(31,427 posts)Rorey
(8,510 posts)That's a lot to go through.
I have one best friend besides my adult children and two daughters-in-law. I really do feel like they're my best friends too. They're always there for me and have helped me get through some very difficult times, and they know I'm always there for them too.
My circle is really pretty small, and I like it that way.
a kennedy
(31,427 posts)Rorey
(8,510 posts)I know it's not the same as a best friend, but we're here for you.
a kennedy
(31,427 posts)but love you all.
of course ... but I have really good friends too, and family, and my neighbor, shes really friendly .. and cashiers at the grocery are smiley too ...
I think most humans are open to kindness and support
Fatnixon has a small coterie of slavering idiots that thankfully gather in packs,
so I can avoid them ...
✌🏻
a kennedy
(31,427 posts)never gets filled unless you have one.
dweller
(24,455 posts)the only way to have 1 is to be 1 ...
I believe you will find another too ... 🙏
✌🏻
a kennedy
(31,427 posts)PoindexterOglethorpe
(26,132 posts)One a man I worked with starting almost fifty years ago. We speak on the phone every single day now.
The other two are women I met at different points in my life, and I do feel very close to them. They are all a year or two older than I am, which is a strong reminder I need to make some younger friends.
a kennedy
(31,427 posts)love from......
Kath2
(3,147 posts)I can truthfully say I have no one. And I never have. I was forced to become very adult at a very young age and I thought of the "best friend" thing as childish, even when I was a child. I envy people who have good friends. I do not. The people closest to me are associates, not friends.
a kennedy
(31,427 posts)Kath2
(3,147 posts)And I am truly sorry that you lost your loved ones.
jrthin
(4,900 posts)I have 2 best friends. One is my husband and the other is my upstairs neighbor who I've know for the past 25+yrs. My circle of friends is small, and as one poster commented, I like it that way.
a kennedy
(31,427 posts)So great......and Im jealous.
NRaleighLiberal
(60,329 posts)2 really, really good friends, but not best (work buddies for 20 years)
my two girls - great friends, but not best friends
a kennedy
(31,427 posts)daughters??? they cant be best friends, they are your daughters, completely different category.
MyOwnPeace
(17,192 posts)and how would you define "best friend?"
Someone you could tell "anything" to and not "lose" them?
Someone you could call "anytime" and they would be there if you needed them?
Someone that's been there with you/for you through thick & thin and is still there?
That's my idea of a best friend - and I've actually got a couple of stages or levels that I'd consider:
People you've worked with and could/would help.
People that are your neighbors that could/would help.
Moderate/distant family that could/would help.
But "best friends" - yeah, they're special - and as life goes on they become like vintage wine - just the best!
TOP SHELF: 3 (I was married twice - 2 of them were my "best man!"
NEXT TIER: 3 (people I've worked with over the years)
I was an only child - no sibs or close relatives to speak of - thus no family issues.
EDIT!
Just read some of the earlier entries and must add: MY WIFE was my best friend - lost her 10 years ago to MS.
I never should have left her out of the discussion - she was the world to me.
a kennedy
(31,427 posts)and how would you define "best friend?"
Someone you could tell "anything" to and not "lose" them?
Someone you could call "anytime" and they would be there if you needed them?
Someone that's been there with you/for you through thick & thin and is still there?
Yes, yes, yes........
mitch96
(14,428 posts)we both remember seeing each other from across the street My other is my girl friend when I was 15.. we are still good friends that talk and text on a daily basis. My other is up in Maine and we met when we were 16. The last is a girl I worked with 30 years ago and we still talk about every other day... Yup, I'm blessed.
My other buddy who I met at 16 turned out to be a tRumper and had to cut him off. I miss the Old version of him, not the political animal he turned into. I email him and his wife (good buddy too) on their anniversary every year but that's about it.......
m
a kennedy
(31,427 posts)mitch96
(14,428 posts)New "friends". They say or do something stupid I'll call them on it and we discuss it and it's over.
New people, if they are jerks I just cut them loose. I've got my "squad"...
m
yonder
(9,898 posts)l lost a best friend of 35 years to an accident about 5 years ago. He got careless cleaning a gun.
a kennedy
(31,427 posts)yonder
(9,898 posts)a kennedy
(31,427 posts)blueinredohio
(6,797 posts)Be it money, helping them out but when I need help they are long gone or my husband. I have acquaintances but not friends.
a kennedy
(31,427 posts)blueinredohio
(6,797 posts)I thank each and everyone of you.
MyOwnPeace
(17,192 posts)If you want a lot of "friends," get a pick-up truck!!
Seriously, too bad things turned out that way.........
Generic Brad
(14,357 posts)My disinterest in religion and quiet support for Democrats is apparently too radical, liberal, fanatical, and criminal fit those less logical.
a kennedy
(31,427 posts)kacekwl
(7,307 posts)seen in almost two years.
mnhtnbb
(31,730 posts)but that eventually changed when I no longer could tell him anything. Made it very apparent to me I'd made a mistake in letting go of women whom I would have previously considered best friends.
Now I have two: one woman I met when we moved to Chapel Hill in 2000. For the last couple of months we've been able to get together on her deck. As it gets colder, we may have to give up being able to see each other in person.
My other best friend I met when married to my first husband in the mid '70's when her husband and mine worked together. They still live in California so I don't see her often, but we text or talk frequently. Not every day, but often.
It makes a difference knowing there is someone who would always be there for you.
a kennedy
(31,427 posts)HOw do I even say how so lucky you are for these friends........I am soooooooooooooooooooooo jealous of them.
Marthe48
(18,384 posts)Losing a friend leaves a special feeling of grief. I have lost several friends over the years, and still miss them and think about them. My best friend and I have been best friends for over 60 years and I have a better relationship with her than with my sister. We live about 120 miles apart now, but over the years stayed in touch by letter, phone, texting, facebook and visits. I have some dear local friends, such as my husband's cousin and her family, my neighbor, other neighbors. I stayed in touch with 2 friends from college and another from high school. I've had a penpal since 1979. We have not met, but I hope to see her someday. One of my friends from another town is in the hospital right now with a heart problem. I'm hoping she'll pull through. She is younger than I am, and it was shocking to hear about her today. I've been wanting to count my blessings lately, especially my friends. Thanks for giving me a place to talk about them
I hope you meet people you will love and trust as friends.
a kennedy
(31,427 posts)me and Im sure others, feel so thankful for our best friends, and others that just make having friends get us through these times.
The Velveteen Ocelot
(119,273 posts)a kennedy
(31,427 posts)csziggy
(34,178 posts)I got hurt by too many people who pretended to be "besties" when I was young, so I don not open up with most people. My sister had given me the advice to marry my best friend, so I did. She's been married since 1972, I've been married since 1977 so it was very good advice.
a kennedy
(31,427 posts)csziggy
(34,178 posts)Our oldest sister was that, even though she and my older sister (the current one) were closest in age. We lost our oldest sister in 1993 and it took my sister years to recover.
After our father died, and our little sister proved to the world what an asshole she was, I decided the best thing I could do for my other sister was to make her life as easy as possible. She had to take on Mom's care and interceding to prevent abuse by our little sister and her daughter - literally.
I couldn't be there, but I could let my unload all her anger and frustrations. Both her husband and mine got tired of hearing about it, but I could take on that task - and did not ask her for anything. We spend a lot of time on the phone and it is a good release for her.
Since Mom died, she's been brilliant at clearing Mom's house, taking care of business, and sorting through the piles of accumulated crap Mom and Dad left. I did what I could - compromised on what I wanted to prevent arguments, and got my stuff the heck out of the way to spur everyone else into making their choices and moving their stuff.
In the process, she and I have gotten a lot closer than we ever were. It's great - but we each have our husbands as our besties.
a kennedy
(31,427 posts)csziggy
(34,178 posts)Codeine
(25,586 posts)But they all live a significant distance from me, so even prepandemic we didnt see each other often.
Harker
(14,608 posts)My wife.
Buckeye_Democrat
(14,979 posts)Several good friends when I was in school long ago.
I always get new friends whenever I'm working, but they never persist after I leave those places. They're usually married with kids, work long hours, have daily problems that keep them occupied, etc.
Still have four siblings, one of whom is a religious-fanatic who I'll continue to tolerate despite the annoyances.
Edit: So sorry about your recent family losses!