I Have A Black Eye
I got into a fight last night with this big fat bastard who was trying to break into my home. He got a shot in, but I ended up kicking his ass and he ran away. I got the black eye after I slipped on the ice and slammed my temple into the corner of the car door. I must not have been the first home he broke into, as he left a big bag of stuff behind, presumably stolen from his other break-ins. It was dark and I don't have a description, but I found traces of red cloth and white hair strands under my fingernails. Keep an eye out for this asshole.
Update:
I just heard from the Austin Police Department. that this EXACT kind of break-in was reported many times last night and I was not the first. In fact, many N.R.A members reported taking a few shots at this lunatic. I heard one person who said that "If I had a 30-round magazine, I would have cut that sucker in half. But since I only had a 5 round mag all I ended up doing was shooting a few holes thru the walls of my kid’s bedrooms." Sad isn't it?
From UPI:
"According to recent reports from the A.P.D. "This is not a 'LONE' perpetrator, but the work of a TEAM", consisting of one man and one woman. The woman, apparently being a prostitute, as the main 'Person of Interest' in these break-ins, was heard, multiple times, calling out for the help of his 'Ho' according to unconfirmed reports."
People just seem to go nuts during the Holiday Season. This incident has convinced me to join the NRA and buy a weapon to protect my home from unwanted intruders. And I hope the NRA pamphlet explains the difference between -an intruder- and -an unwanted intruder- because I would hate to draw down on the WRONG intruder. I could probably find the definition under a subtext if I looked up the difference between rape and REAL rape, but I digest...invest...divest...uhmmm....wait..... digress...yeah that's it...DIGRESS.
Merry Christmas Everybody.
P.S. It sucks that I had to turn this bag of goods he left here over to the A.P.D. As I looked thru it before they arrived, and I would have LOVED to own ALL the crap in the bag. It's almost like I ASKED for this stuff. How strange is that?
= new reply since forum marked as read
Sharing presents and good cheer around the world...to hell with these subversives. Go back to China.
Merry Christmas! Santa is real if you want him to be!
I read your entire post to my husband which led to a discussion about why owning guns and learning how to use them properly is so important which led to a discussion about why it is important to be prepared during our current crazy times which led to a discussion about how prepared he actually is because he owns a few guns and knows how to us them which led to a discussion about why we are glad that we purchased enough food to last two months should food supplies ever be cut off.....
And then I reread your entire post and only then discovered that you were talking about ole Saint Nick himself.
I feel chagrined.....
Yet, I am thrilled to have been fooled!....LOL
Thank you!!!
Way to take Santa down a notch. But now...
Be forewarned!!