OK--two dogs and a cat die and go to heaven...

[First Speaker]

...and they face God, sitting on his throne. He turns to the first dog and says, "all right, what do you have to say for yourself?" The dog says, "I was a friend and companion of my human. We went on trips together, I was always there for him when he came home, we played together." God smiles and says, "fine. You can come and sit in this chair at my right hand."

Then He turns to the second dog, and asks: "now you, my friend. What have you to say for yourself?" And this dog says, "I was a service dog for a blind man. I accompanied him everywhere, made sure he had safe paths, and was a companion to him." And God smiles again, and says, "excellent! You may sit in this chair at my left hand."

Finally He turns to the cat and says, "and you? What have you to say for yourself?" And the cat looks right into God's eyes and says, "you're sitting in my chair."

I first heard this joke 50 years ago, but the recent death of a friend's cat brought it to mind...

[niyad]

1. Yes, indeed.

[Hoyt]

2. Was a dog guy until I inherited a cat in my 50s. I get it, but would gladly

give every cat I’ve had since then my chair.

[KT2000]

4. that is why we have

two chairs at the computer desk. Sometimes we have to use the other one after you get up to get something.

[Hoyt]

5. I measured and bought a chair with enough room so my buddy could

always share with me.

Miss that cat, but glad I had him for 15+ years. He sat with me while I worked and even when I attempted to play guitar, mandolin, etc. Well he often left and moved a few feet away when I was playing.

[KT2000]

6. Ha! My singing

is not poplar in my house either. Good idea about the chair!

[A_Woman_from_MI]

3. Cat says,

"I really gave fuck all about the humans. They fed me, and loved me, and worshiped me - as well they should. Sometimes, I pretended I felt the same way about them. It was a great gig. What you got for me, God?"

God smirks and says, "Fine. Come sit on my lap."

[sandensea]

7. Finally, God asks a basset: 'Well? What have YOU to say for yourself?'

To which the basset says:

'I'm too sleepy to talk - unless this involves a treat.'

[nam78_two]

8. Heh heh heh-it is funny because it is true

I love cats. They shouldn't kill birds and other wildlife but that aside....

Actually, it is not strictly accurate. I am no animal behaviorist, but I have respectfully coexisted with lots of felines - all outdoor cats. This would apply only to a handful of them. But it is true that humans are not the centres of their individual existences. They lead their own funny, solitary, independent little lives. And it is always on their own terms. A large number of the (spayed) cats I have lived with have a very lively curiousity about the world at large.

[burrowowl]

9. Kick

[NJCher]

10. you have to have

a decent-sized ego to live with a cat(s).

Laughed at the story. Thanks for posting it.

[KY_EnviroGuy]

11. From the archives.....

KY........

[lunatica]

12. My cat can tell time

Like an alarm clock he comes to let me because he know it’s time for me to feed him and he’s always right.

Sometimes I like to show my independent thinking by offering him food before he asks for it though, just to show who’s boss.

[AmyStrange]

13. The whisker tickle...

-

How well I know that little trick.

If I'm not up by 8, she just sits near my mouth, sniffs, and her whiskers ALWAYS wakes me up.

Who can sleep through that crap?!
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[lunatica]

15. And the purring that goes with it!

He convinces me that it’s all pure love!

And I fall for it.

[AmyStrange]

14. My lawyer would sue the shit out of God...

-

if she could stop listening to her damn music long enough, she'd kick her ass...





(yes, I did write that God was a her)
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