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Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsHave you ever have a childhood memory, that others tell you didn't actually happen?
I had a couple of memories from childhood. Real memories. Or.so.I.thought. One was an event that happened when one of my sisters was present. When I mentioned the "event" to her years ago, she not only had no recollection of it, she swore it had never happened!
It was a big event, which was why I "remembered" it.
The event: I remember even now, sitting on my sister's bed. She was seated next to me. There was an antique dresser there with a huge round mirror affixed to it. When we were sitting there, a picture of a man in uniform slowly came into focus in the mirror. I couldn't move, fixated on the "happening." Then the picture of the military man started fading, and faded away. I said to my sis, who was also sitting there dumbstruck, "Wow. Did you see that?" She said, "Yes!" We were petrified.
My memory ends there. I assumed we went and told my mother, but I don't remember.
Now, this was not a memory of a dream. This was a bona fide memory of mine, just like some Christmases I had, some holiday dinners, and other real memories.
But when I reminded my sister of it years ago, she said that never happened, that it must've been a dream. I remember a couple of weird dreams I had as a child. I remember that they were DREAMS, though. I didn't mistake them for reality then, and I don't now.
Have you ever had this happen?
nolabear
(41,991 posts)It's somewhat conjecture that mine isn't true but take my word for it; it can't be.
I was an Air Force kid. And when I was little, I was sick a lot with some gastrointestinal thing that would put me in the hospital about twice a year. When I was five and six we lived in Columbus Mississippi and one Thanksgiving I wa in hospital there. I remember a number of things, including having my arm strapped to a board so I couldn't pull out my IV, and a little windup toy chicken that a nice man bought me (back then parents couldn't spend all their time there so I was alone a lot). But the other thing I remember is Mary, a little black girl who stood in the corner of the room with her face to the wall, crying. That's all she did, the onl memory I ahve of her.
As I said, it was Mississippi in about 1960-61. I can pretty much promise you there was no little black girl rooming with me. The fact I know her name after all these years impresses hell out of me. I think she might have been a dream, or a really lonely scared little girl's projection of her frightened self. But I've always wished I could give Mary a hug and let her know everything would be all right.
pitohui
(20,564 posts)this is a GREAT story, and i've thought about something similar to this a lot
sometimes we share someone else's dreams or fears and it just floods us with emotion...i don't think that is "not true," it might be the truest part of being human
Ron Obvious
(6,261 posts)Memory is extremely malleable and gets modified every time you recall an event. I suspect that only an outline of the event gets stored. and that at recall time that bare outline gets filled in with new material to pad out to a full event. It sure seems real, though, even iin those cases where there's absolute proof the memory is false.
I've had memories associated with a particular song being on the radio, for example, which I then recall whenever I hear that song again. I later determined that that particular song didn't even come out until several years after the event being recalled. Absolute proof that the memory is false. And yet, I'm almost not convinced even so... It just seems so real still.
Another example, for men in particular. when you recall talking to your friends before your voices broke, do you remember speaking in the squeaky voices you had then or with the adult voices you now have? Definitely the latter for me. Even the language spoken is wrong in some recollections.
It's fascinating stuff.
pitohui
(20,564 posts)you were a kid, it's easy to invalidate your memories
sisters are just as guilty as parents (you'd know to be skeptical if it was a parent), my sister assured me that my mom never went hiking with us as kids, yeah, whatever, like my mom suddenly becomes a day hiking fiend in her 70s catch a clue!
just because your sister "reminds" you of something, it doesn't mean HER memory is right, maybe yours is the more accurate version
also i just read ron obvious's post and what he said...totally true...if you ever get a hobby dealing w. memory you will soon learn HOW true
oh one more thing, if it was a metaphysical event, just because she said "yes" she saw it...doesn't mean she EVER witnessed what you saw (can you tell i went thru a UFO chasing phase)
HopeHoops
(47,675 posts)I won't get into whether it's me or her that got it wrong, but it happens a lot.
raccoon
(31,119 posts)on one person and not the other(s).
And family members are very prone to amnesia when you remember something that reflects badly on them.
For example:
"Remember the time you shot me with a shotgun?"
"I don't remember that!"
A slight exaggeration, but you get what I'm saying.
Historic NY
(37,453 posts)he tells stories about things I supposedly did, or events where I was, and I wasn't. Sometimes its just pointless to correct him. Funny thing is he wasn't there when the stuff actually happened, he just seems to recall his version.