A very long explanatory post, along with some words of encouragement.
I have gone through my recent posts this morning while both cringing and laughing at the same time.
There's a reason I've been a bit prolific and unhinged lately. I haven't really been able to walk for about the past week or so because of spinal problems. Well, I can walk sometimes, but I have to use these two walking sticks to even get to the bathroom. I had a stroke and a subsequent fall in the bathroom recently, so going to the bathroom for me has given me a phobia, because it feels like I'm going to the gas chamber.
To treat these physical issues, I received some IV steroids last week, and now I am on high dose oral steroids, and the course of those will be completed at the end of the upcoming week.
So, I basically have nothing else to do except to sit here a a chair and post, and this is kind of driving me insane because I'm normally very active. I sat in the recliner the other day and watched MSNBC for a few hours, and it made me realize something. I have not not watched TV for a period of time longer than 30-45 minutes in DECADES. I can't even recall the last time I watched an hour long show in one fell swoop, let alone an entire movie, on TV.
My boredom, coupled with the effects of the steroids, is why I am posting so much shit lately. I don't really get mean or aggressive while on these drugs, but I do get extremely hyperactive, and become a bit more of an asshole than I usually am.
I'm not typing this for sympathy, or best wishes, or anything like that, so please save those good wishes for someone who needs them. I'm going to be fine, nothing to worry about.
With all of the above out of the way, I will now get to the point of this post.
I debated whether to post this in GD or the lounge. I decided to post it in the lounge, but in order to do that without getting this post locked, I'm going to type in general terms here, rather than detailed political terms, since pure politics does not being in the lounge.
There is some stuff going on at a national level that is affecting everyone in this country. This stuff is especially heinous in the way it affects women. For personal reasons that don't need to be discussed, I'm probably as upset about current events that a MAN can be. I'm really fucking upset. However, a man's level of rage on current issues is magnitudes of order less than a woman's.
I know that people are depressed over the general state of things. I know that people are panicked. I know that people are crying. I know that people are feeling lost. I know that some people are feel like there is no hope.
So here's what I what to say to those people.
Last week, during the height of my physical problems, I decided to do some heavy landscaping, by using an upside down broom as a crutch. I became trapped on the ground because I was unable to stand up. I laid on the ground and started laughing, thinking that my neighbors are probably peering through their curtains at me, hoping that I would die.
I was not worried, because I knew my wife would find me soon, so I just laid there, looking at the beautiful sky, and I fell asleep. I was retrieved shortly afterwards.
For everyone who is thinking that there is no hope, for everyone who is depressed, and crying, and angry, here is what you can do for yourself.
Find JOY in your anger. Find ACCOMPLISHMENT in your struggle. Tell your pain to fuck off. Come to an understanding with your depression. Get a little wild and do not worry about what people think about you.
I guess I better address this now before I go further. There's several types of depression. I've had the type where you can do nothing but lay in bed for a month or so and stare at the ceiling. That kind of stuff is a different animal than what I am talking about here. That certainly requires professional medical treatment, and it's serious business.
What I am talking about today falls into three categories.
1) The general creeping malaise that has slowly tried to eat your spirit and goodness since 2016.
2) The feeling of helplessness and depression brought about by crushing physical pain.
3) The acute despair brought about by very recent events.
If you are experiencing depression because of the above three things, I encourage you to adopt a mindset. A mindset of fearlessness. A mindset of not worrying about what people think of you. A mindset of laughing and crying hysterically at the exact same moment. A mindset of saying whatever you want to say. A mind set of not giving up. A mindset of doing the very best that you can with what you have, or how you are.
Because if you embrace and accept the above ways of being, you may find that you feel better.
You may find joy in your struggle.
I want to say one last thing about recent events.
Do not worry.
The people who tend to post on DU are generally kind people, but are not pushovers. That means that you have power, and there are a few hundred million people lie us.
The recent national event is the ONE. A line was crossed. The shit is going to hit several million fans before things improve, but mark my words here. When the dust finally clears, it is going to be transformative in a glorious and positive way.
Fight. Be who you want to be. Speak your mind. If someone needs to be told to fuck off, tell them to fuck off while smiling at them. Do not let bad people defeat you.
I have to believe that my thoughts here might be food for thought and helpful to at least one person who reads them.
Mods, if this is too heavy for the lounge or otherwise inappropriate. I will delete it or move it elsewhere.
Thanks for reading.
= new reply since forum marked as read
And I did not miss your 'creeping malaise' reference
Well done! 
It's always darkest before the dawn is a tired cliche, but sometimes the tiredest ones are the truest ones. Like us tired but true people.
and to you for your resilience and your encouraging words.
*sigh* Damn. Straight.
BTW, this -THIS - was *chef's kiss*...
I was not worried, because I knew my wife would find me soon, so I just laid there, looking at the beautiful sky, and I fell asleep. I was retrieved shortly afterwards.
