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Atticus

(15,124 posts)
Fri Jan 20, 2023, 01:19 PM Jan 2023

"Depend upon it, sir, when a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind

wonderfully."------Samuel Johnson

The reason for that "concentration", of course, is impending death. And, impending death is something those of us who have already surpassed our "three score and ten" are usually willing to acknowledge. Both the healthy and the frail must acknowledge that we have significantly less future than we've had past.

And, it seems to me I am probably not alone in "concentrating" my mind; winnowing through my thoughts and concerns and discarding the "chaff".
Some of what is left is comforting and may even bring a smile, but some of it is painful to consider. There were certainly more than a few times in my life when I was "less" than I should have been; less kind---less brave---less generous---less tolerant---and, most hurtful, less loving than I "should have---could have" been.

And, I am left with the knowledge that there are no "re-takes" possible for those sad scenes. All I can do at this point is try to be a better man during whatever days I have left and hope I am fondly remembered when I die.

Introspection may be a flaw, I suppose. Sorry if some find the above maudlin nonsense.

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"Depend upon it, sir, when a man knows he is to be hanged in a fortnight, it concentrates his mind (Original Post) Atticus Jan 2023 OP
Atticus, I am right there with you. Prairie_Seagull Jan 2023 #1
not at all barbtries Jan 2023 #2
I think this is wonderful, Atticus! cilla4progress Jan 2023 #3
... Anon-C Jan 2023 #4
+100 CaptainTruth Jan 2023 #6
Beautifully stated. CaptainTruth Jan 2023 #5
Thank You Atticus.... lucca18 Jan 2023 #7
absolutely brilliant insights - thanks!!! bluboid Jan 2023 #8
Yes, all things are impermanent -- including us vlyons Jan 2023 #9
I'm Right There With You, Brother The Roux Comes First Jan 2023 #10
And I Meant to Add The Roux Comes First Jan 2023 #11

cilla4progress

(24,798 posts)
3. I think this is wonderful, Atticus!
Fri Jan 20, 2023, 01:41 PM
Jan 2023

As our family deals with the perhaps dying days of our elder - for, who knows the timing - no one...these very thoughts cross my mind in my sleepless hours!

Mostly I want to die quickly, not linger, as my mother-in-law with her bedpans and midnight ER stays and move to a woebegone nursing home is.

Last night I thought - I only want enough time to say good bye to my loved ones. Then I thought - well, why? To make sure they know I loved them hard and good in life, and how much happiness they have brought me (despite the conflicts and struggles always present in close relationships).

It came to me: YOU DO THAT WHILE YOU ARE LIVING!! You don't wait till you are on your death bed. You do it every day. Tell them you love and appreciate them EVERY day. In words or in gestures..whatever your "love language" in today's common parlance.

Love well. Love in the open. Love with humility and at any expense to your own sense of entitlement or superiority.

As long as you are breathing there is still time! ❤️

lucca18

(1,245 posts)
7. Thank You Atticus....
Fri Jan 20, 2023, 03:28 PM
Jan 2023

I want to appreciate life.
I want to cherish life.
I want to not repeat past mistakes.
Love and kindness.
💕😍❤️

vlyons

(10,252 posts)
9. Yes, all things are impermanent -- including us
Fri Jan 20, 2023, 04:01 PM
Jan 2023

I'm a 75 yr female with a heart condition. I'm also a Buddhist. So allow me to share my perspective.

I don't know if reincarnation is real or not, but I prefer to keep an open mind about it. It could be for real, but if consciousness doesn't continue after the death of the body, then all my problems are over.

But if mind/consciousness does continue, then mind is the only thing I take with me after death. The Tibetan Buddhists have a deeply intricate psychology of how the mind works that I won't bore you with here. Suffice it to say that the great classic Buddhist teachers have described absolute enlightened mind as without concepts, infinitely open, luminous, and aware. However, we mere mortals ain't there yet. We ain't enlightened. So after death, the mind desires to grasp at self and takes rebirth back here in samsara, suffering. Part of unenlightened mind contains a type of consciousness that is the repository of karma, intentions, memories, habitual thinking and point of view, negative emotions like anger, greed, jealousy, etc. And it also has the good karmic intentions to add value and benefit to the happiness of others, joy from living a morally ethical life, success in developing and using your natural skills and talents, faithfully keeping agreements -- all the good stuff from your life.

Depending on our how well we have purified our mind of negative emotions, selfish desires, harmful points of view (racism, misogyny, etc), we take rebirth in a more, or less, fortunate life.

That you have recognized that you made some serious and hurtful things earlier in life is a good thing. Especially if you regret them and are determined to make those same mistakes again, in this life of the next, assuming there is a next. In Buddhism, we take everything, good and bad, into our spiritual path. All our experience is available to teach us something. Everything begins with intention. You've stated that your intention is to be a better man in the time you have left. We all must start from where we are now. Bravo!

Best regards always

The Roux Comes First

(1,301 posts)
10. I'm Right There With You, Brother
Fri Jan 20, 2023, 04:18 PM
Jan 2023

Like the song has it, "regrets, I've had a few." But as Mary Chapin Carpenter responds, "I don't cling to remorse or regret." And there are frequently means of achieving at least some recompense in the here and now; plenty of latitude for good deeds, big and small.

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