Does a person get more outspoken, crankier, wiser, softspoken, or relaxed as they age? Or were they

[debm55]

always like that ?There are a number of threads on the GD forum related to age. I will be 68 years old next month. I signed up to post here in 2004=long time reader, maybe 35 posts. Sometimes I feel like I don't give a shit if I say or post something. But others times I feel more sensitive. Does that come with age? It does bother me, when sometimes I walk into the kitchen and forget what I came in for. Do any of you know what I mean? Thank you.

[sinkingfeeling]

1. I'm much more outspoken and crankier and more short-tempered now. I'm 75.

[debm55]

3. sinkingfeeling. do you think it comes with age. I know people my age that are so different then when

they were younger. Thank you for your honest answer.

[sinkingfeeling]

6. LOL. Mine came with age. When I was 24, I was so timid I couldn't look my

clients in the eye. My manager said to get more assertive.

[debm55]

7. And did you?

[sinkingfeeling]

9. Sure did and became very confident.

[CurtEastPoint]

5. Yep! 73 here and sometimes I just gotta vent, be a crank, be outspoken, too

[debm55]

8. Curt, same here. but it bothers me because I never used to be that way.

[Walleye]

2. Maybe you get wiser, I think you just get tired of fighting the same battles over and over

[debm55]

4. That's true and dealing with assholes. Thank you Walleye.

[Mark.b2]

10. Two things I've noticed as I near 60...

--I get choked up some. At the movies, at church, watching 60 Minutes during a sad or touching segment, etc. That used to NEVER happen. I think I'm more empathetic.
--I'm much slower to anger nowadays. I'm not nearly the hothead I used to be. I chalk it up to a couple years of counseling and ending years of drinking way too much. I didn't realize until I got cleaner (not a complete tee totaler even today) that alcohol really curmudgeoned me and colored my thinking in a bad way.

My "wake up" came in the weeks after Clinton lost in 2016. Like many, I was devastated. Her losing never entered my mind as plausible. Without a sympathetic boss (who was a friend) who covered for me, I would have been fired (I was AWOL and drunk for 3 weeks solid). When I got my shit somewhat together, I took advantage of my company's mental health benefit. With too much drink, too much weight, and too high blood pressure, I was on a path of my passions being detrimental.

I allow myself limited time on news and politics. It really has helped me. I just know I can't do well mentally, physically and spiritually if I don't watch my consumption.

All that said, I like to think I'm wiser and relaxed!

[niyad]

11. Welcome to our DU family. It is a wonderful place to relax and be wise.

[debm55]

13. Mark, so glad for you that you have cut down on the alcohol. My husband has been sober for 43 years.

He used AA. Doesn't go but doesn't drink. You were lucky you had a boss that was so understanding. I cried my eyes out for days and was in shock.Yes, daily doses of killings, and car wrecks, etc can put you in a bad place. Continue with your own program friend. My husband tried it that way and was right back in rehab two months later. He is the love of my life and I want what's best for him. You sound like you have it together. Best of luck to you.

[Mark.b2]

24. Thank you, Deb! I love hearing...

About others' victories over addiction. I guess because I can now relate, and I find them a source of encouragement!

Two surprising benefits from cutting the excess drinking were weight loss, the best word I can think of, joy. In the first 3 or 4 months after I went almost tee total, I lost45 pounds. I hardly changed my diet, although when the pounds started coming off, I did start going low carb. Vodka was my go-to elixir. I did the math, and i was consuming 1000-1300 calories from vodka PER DAY. Once I stopped, I couldn't help but lose weight! And after about of week putting that poison in my body, I started feeling so much better.

Other than the couple of cashiers at the liquor store, my wife was the only person who knew I had a problem. Finally, she started saying something on occasion. But, only after I had said something totally out of character, had tried cooking a snack and burned it after she went to bed, or would do something crazy sleeping on the bathroom floor. There were so many times we would talk about something, and she'd remind me we had already discussed or made important decisions, but my Titos-soaked brain had failed to "records things. We like "Yellostone," and there were so many times we would start a new episode, yet I had no memory whatsoever of the previous one. I got to where I would re-watch them while she was put just so I wouldn't be lost.

Over time, the shame I felt built up. My friends and family had no idea I had a problem. From all accounts, I had my shit together. But, once I got away from having drink-related issues behind closed doors, I could feel the shame dissipating. And I could see my wife wasn't anxious going to bed at night worried I'd burn the house down or break my neck in a drunken fall. I started feeling better about myself. I was becoming more of who friends and family thought I was. That brought joy. And I've had quite a few people tell me I seemed happier. I was!

I'd so love a cocktail right now. But, I got rid of all alcohol in the house. See, if I have it here, I will drink it. I just cannot control myself if it's here; so, we just don't keep it around anymore.

I do still have the occasional (1-2 times a month) tipple when out socially. I never had an issue with a social drink.

Anyway, my story...

[niyad]

12. I don't think that I could get much crankier, more outspoken, than I always have

been. I used to have a button that read, "NO, I do NOT have pms. I am ALWAYS a bitch." Kept some of the more annoying people away from me. (I did not even get into how offensive the whole pms-menstrual slur bs was.)

[debm55]

14. Niyad, you are so great. I went through early menopause at 32. So, I could use that that as an

excuse. Major Bummer. I would just cry. before that though. Yes, I hated when people would say it was PMS. Thank you.

[Skittles]

15. nah

I've been wanting to kick ass since I was a toddler; yes INDEED

[debm55]

16. Me too, Skittles. Now that I can do it, I'm still the mostly passive person

who grumbles under their breathe and lets it build up inside even when I want to tell them to go to hell. And I do.It is very hard to do. Sometimes I get so frustated I cry. what I feel and what comes out are two different things. Until I get really mad, Oh well.

[nocoincidences]

17. I turned 75 last month

and for the last 10 years I feel like I am finally my authentic self.

My entire life people saw me as outgoing and charismatic but I never felt like that was who I was, it was just a convenient way to be. I am an introverted curmudgeon now, and so comfortable with myself!

My best friend for my entire life is amazed at who I have become. I don't think she really believes that this is the real me. She is learning and trying to tolerate me but I know I scare her a little. I have always been pretty "right there" about my attitude, but I have crossed all social boundaries since I retired. I don't even pretend to be social anymore. And I can be very rude, suddenly, because my inhibitions are all gone. I just don't give a flying f..k anymore.

All the social rules I followed all of my life just don't matter anymore. I won't commit a crime because that is not who I am. I am just a rude, big mouthed old lady. And I love it!! It's who I have always wanted to be.

[debm55]

19. OMG. noncoincidence, you are my heroine!

[nocoincidences]

21. You don't want to have a conversation

or anything , though, right?

See my low post count for 6ish years of attendance.

I'll give you a heart next month, ok?

[Ferryboat]

25. I hear you. I feel the same way.

One thing I have noticed about getting older is my failing eyesight. But the flip side of that is I can clearly see thur all the bullshit.

[LuckyCharms]

18. 64 here.

Definitely wiser. I wish I knew then what I know now type of thing.

I used to worry about what I posted, or said in real life. Not too much anymore. My skin has become a lot thicker and most snark or insult rolls off me.

However, when SERIOUSLY wronged in real life, I've become less tolerant. I have no problem discarding people when they do not treat me well.

Generally kinder. I think I've always been a kind person, but much more so as I age.

Perceived as stronger. My wife tells me I'm a tough bastard. But she doesn't see me break down in tears when she's not around.

More frustrated because my body does not let me work as hard as I would like.

More social. I used to be kind of shy, now I seek out conversations. I can talk to strangers for hours.

Less tolerant of people who I believe to be willfully ignorant, or of people who refuse to do what it takes to fix their problems.

I realize some of these things are contradictory, but life is a puzzle.

[debm55]

20. Lucky, what if the people you regard where your family? Does that make a deference? Or the asshole

Maga who surround us?

[LuckyCharms]

22. Well, I'll tell you what.

My parents are dead.

My wonderful brother is dead.

I haven't spoken to my other siblings in years...they fucked me over in the worst way.

That's the thing about getting older...you can choose your family and you can choose to turn your back on assholes, even if they are related to you.

[highplainsdem]

23. People are all different. And they're affected differently by everything that

happens to them. I don't think you can generalize.

[debm55]

26. Highplain, I didn't mean to paint with a board brush, but I was wondering if an increase in age can

change a person individually or if that personality was always there. In my youth, I was told some family and neighbors had a hard life and it was okay for them to be mean to the neighborhood kids.They went through alot.

[Elessar Zappa]

27. I'm 39

and I’m not as shy as I was when I was younger. I still have social anxiety but it’s not as bad. As an example, when I was younger, I’d turn red just talking to a checker at the grocery store. That no longer happens.

[GusBob]

28. Still middle aged here

But finding myself way less outspoken, more open-minded, more inner-spirited, more introverted and more observant. I am far less inclined to make waves or draw attention to myself. In meeting people I use my ears more than my mouth. I have always been a generous person, but with age and increased success I find myself more so and that is enjoyable.

I enjoy solitude more than anything and after years in populated places am reveling in the rural lifestyle. I can step out on the lonesome prairie or the mountains and be the only person for hundreds of square miles.

Dare I say it, I am willing to accept that folks are actually allowed to have their own opinions politically, morally, religiously and ethically. My best (only) female friend and my best (only) male friend are both hard core Trumpers, but I have zero problem with that . I also acknowledge that in doing so I find myself becoming "less liberal" on certain issues. Some may interpret that as "more conservative" but I would say more "middle of the road"

My careers are very challenging but rewarding, and never boring. I loathe the thought of being retired and would never live a sedentary lifestyle. I make myself active as possible and plan on working or tramping about 'til the day I die

[LudwigPastorius]

29. "Does a person get more outspoken,..."

Well, I'm going to tell you. You probably won't like it, but I don't care.

"crankier," And, by the way, dammit, Deb! Why are you always asking these questions?

"wiser," Anyway, after years of study, reading, and sitting at the feet of masters, I have to say...

"softspoken," *i think the answer might be...*

"or relaxed as they age?" ZZZZzzzzzz

[debm55]

30. I ask the questions because I can. People like to share, and I enjoy theml