As a kid, what are the DUMBEST things a friend or classmate ever said to you?

[battleknight24]

Yes, we all said stupid things as a kid, and I am just as guilty as anyone else. But...

Let me tell you a story about my two friends as a kid... "John" and "Allen"...

When I was younger, during the mid to late 1990s (?), John and Allen were at my house. We were in the kitchen and I had stacks and stacks of Nintendo Power magazines, old and recent, on the floor... I was going to either sell them to a used bookstore or give them away to friends and cousins.

I'm not sure about anyone else, but when the NES was the only Nintendo system, we referred to it not as the "NES" but "the Nintendo."

Anyway, my friend John looks at the magazines, and starts laughing out loud. My friend Allen laughs and tells me, "hey man, no one plays the Nintendo anymore."

After briefly talking with them, I realized why they were laughing. Despite the fact that at this point in time Nintendo had multiple systems out and was still making arcade games...

...they thought that "Nintendo Power" magazine was ONLY about the old NES games.

I had to pick up a copy of the magazine and show them all the articles, games and systems the magazine covered.

*

Okay, maybe not the dumbest thing ever, but this incident has always stuck with me.

[WorseBeforeBetter]

1. That my long, auburn hair made me look like...

an Irish Setter. I must say that stung in 7th grade, but being stopped on the street in my 20s and 30s and told I looked like a Breck Girl made up for it. So, screw you Pam, you bottle blonde!

[Lydia Leftcoast]

2. In eighth grade biology class, we were learning about the brain

and the topics of brain death and permanent vegetative states came up. Our teacher explained what a permanent vegetative state was, that the brain stem kept the person breathing and their heart beating, but that the person was completely unconscious and showed no response to outside stimuli except basic reflexes.

One of my classmates raised his hand and asked, "But what do people like that do for entertainment?"

It took him all year to live that one down.

[battleknight24]

4. Ha ha...

That sounds like my friend "John"... except for one thing...

He didn't just say dumb things... he would say them sarcastically, as if I (or the person he was talking to) was an idiot and he was the only smart one. Sometimes, my friends and I didn't know how to respond to his incredibly dumb AND sarcastic comments. We knew when we were out of our league.

One time, we were playing basketball with some other guys after school, and he threw a really bad pass towards me. Our friend on the other team intercepted, went down the court and scored. He screamed at me:

"DON'T JUST STAND THERE. COME TOWARDS THE BALL WHEN I PASS IT TO YOU!!!"

Keep in mind, it was a TERRIBLE pass.

[orleans]

3. EMO!

that was the "swear" word for kids around here--a variant of asshole, or "retard" --a negative, derogatory, insult.

it was coined from a sign above a classroom door at the junior high that said: "emo. disturbed" or something to that effect (the word emotionally was abbreviated to "emo" and it was a classroom for the kids who were mentally challenged.)

the comedian emo philips went to that jr. high. that's why he chose the name "emo" -- it had this weird significance for kids around here. his real name is phil.

[zen_bohemian]

5. Well, a classmate freaked me out with a story about the song "Love Rollercoaster" by Ohio Players...

This was about 4th-5th grade she told me that while that song was being recorded, that a woman was killed in the next studio, and the noise of her screaming ended up on the song....in the middle of the song, there is instrumental and a woman screaming (like a woman on a rollercoaster would).....I believed her, and every time I heard that song it made me queasy LOL.....

[Lydia Leftcoast]

6. In one of those late-night college dorm discussions, we somehow started talking about prostitution

Some thought it should be legalized.

One of the small-town fundamentalists in the dorm was, of course, opposed and argued this way, "If a man goes to a prostitute and has sex with her, he's become one flesh with her and is married to her in the eyes of God. Then, if he later gets married in the regular way, he's committing adultery, and worse than that, his wife becomes an adulterer without knowing it and goes to hell."

When faced with an astounding statement like that, all we (mostly conventional young women attending a church-related college) could do was stare in amazement.

[Art_from_Ark]

7. When I was in 2nd or 3rd grade, some of my classmates were reporting, with all sincerity,

that there was some newborn baby in some hospital who could already talk and was saying some Satanic shit and everyone in the hospital was freaking out and they all died of fright.

[Duer 157099]

8. That her parents only had sex twice, since they only had two kids

swear to god she believed it, that her and her brother were the evidence that their parents only had sex twice.

Come to think of it, I can see how she would have believed that...

[Art_from_Ark]

10. There was a letter to Dear Abby once that read something like

"Thank God we only had to do "the dirty" twice to get our two kids"...

[Behind the Aegis]

9. If you chewed off, and swallowed your fingernails, they would stick in your heart.

[Scuba]

11. "These maps are both different."

[LynneSin]

12. I can't wait to be old enough to vote for Ronald Reagan

I knew even in 1980 this guy would be a disaster.

Oh btw the kid ended up in jail.

[HopeHoops]

13. Oh, probably my 3rd grade bully at my birthday party (he was in 4th grade).

He'd been bullying me for two years and my dad suggested I invite him to my birthday party. WHAT THE FUCK? He convinced me, and I did. The kid fucking ruined the party, but I was his best friend in the world after that. The dumb thing he said? As soon as he arrived, he got me aside and said, "Where does your dad hide his Playboys?"

[bamademo]

14. In the 9th grade, my friend asked me who won the civil war. This was in Alabama!

I terminated the friendship about 3 years later. She is seriously dumb to this day.

[TwilightGardener]

15. I remember the meanest: 9th grade, girls' bathroom, my friend Jennifer and I looking in the mirror

over the sinks and combing our hair, and I said (mostly to myself) "Jeez, look at this huge zit, it's the first thing you see when you look at my face," and Jennifer says, "Well, to be honest, the first thing I see on your face is your nose, it's pretty big." I've spent a lifetime trying to get over that remark.