"The dish is started by placing a pan over a very high flame until it becomes dangerously hot. A can of Heinz's pork and beans is then emptied into the pan and allowed to char until until it reaches the consistency of hardening concrete. Three strips of bacon are fried to crisps, and when the beans have formed huge dense clots firmly welded to the pan, the bacon grease is poured in and stirred vigorously with a large screwdriver. ... Leaving the flame hight, I stirred in some three-day-old spaghetti sauce found in the refrigerator, added a sprinkle of chili powder ... .
"Beans with bacon grease is always eaten from the pan with a tablespoon while standing over the kitchen sink. ... For the meat course, I had fried bologna a la Nutley, Nouveau Jersey. Six slices of A&P bologna were placed in an ungreased frying pan over maximum heat and held down with a long fork until the entire house filled with smoke. The bologna was turned, fried the same length on the other side, then served on air-filled white bread with thick lashings of mayonnaise. ... The cheese course was deliciously simple -- a single slice of Kraft's individually wrapped yellow sandwich cheese, which was flavored by vigorous rubbing over the bottom of the frying pan to soak up the rich bologna juices.
"At last it was time for the dish the entire meal had been building toward -- dessert. With a paring knife, I ripped into a fresh package of Oreos, produced a bowl of My-T-Fine chocolate pudding which had been coagulating in the refrigerator for days and, using a potato masher, crushed a dozen of the Oreos into the pudding. It was immense."
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