As I've posted here before, "The Big Chill"

[hunter]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Big_Chill_%28film%29

When I saw that movie I'd had a very eventful and interesting life as a somewhat feral child and young adult, everything from homelessness to staying as a guest in the Southern California beach houses of wealthy people, from being picked up and driven home by the police to interviewing them for the campus newspaper, from driving all over the Western United States to living in my broken car. I'd had many interesting jobs, employed by people who knew (or at least suspected) I wouldn't be around for long.

"So when are you going to grow up, Hunter?" was a question I'd been asked and sometimes it was a question I'd asked myself.

I saw that movie and imagined myself as a caterpillar spinning a cocoon around myself and emerging as one of the horrible people... OMG, it was just too much. The dead guy got lucky.

That movie disturbed me more than Eraserhead, which a goth-before-goth-was-a-thing girlfriend had taken me to on a date.