My doctor told me I can't put Q-Tips in my ears and nose anymore,......

[ohiosmith]

unless I take them out before visiting her office! Something about freaking out the staff and other patients!

[Major Nikon]

1. I like to cover my naughty bits with S&H greenstamps before being checked for a hernia

[ohiosmith]

3. I can't lick that!

[Major Nikon]

5. That's exactly what my doctor said

[pipi_k]

2. Buncha crybabies!

If it's only one Q-tip in each orifice, then what's the damned problem?

OK, I can see them getting freaked out if you have, like ten or more Q-tips in each hole...

[ohiosmith]

4. TEN! That's just silly!

Four in each ear hole, and six in each nostril.

[Kaleva]

6. I put toothpicks in between all my front upper and lower teeth once.

The wife at the time wouldn't let me go into the store with her until I took them all out.

It was actually hard to talk with all those toothpicks sticking out of my mouth.

[ohiosmith]

7. Gonna try that on my flight to Canada on Saturday!

[Kaleva]

8. Expect a more thorough then usual cavity search when you go thru security!

[ohiosmith]

9. Oh my!

Should I take flowers?

[Kaleva]

11. Just pull a Ted Nugent and eat nothing but chips for several days.

Security at the airport will never forget you. With the toothpicks and the Ted Nugent stunt, hell, they'll tell their grandchildren and great-grandchildren about you!

[RedCloud]

10. That's snot good advice.

I use to be a judge at nose contests and I had to pick many a nose in my day.

[ohiosmith]

12. I've never met anyone that had a nose job!