The BEST bad movie review ever! Le Mis.

[Atman]

http://themattwalshblog.com/2012/12/28/les-miserables-taught-me-how-to-hate-again/

Last night I went to a showing of Les Miserables. And when I say “went to” I mean “hogtied and dragged at gun point by my wife, her sister and her mom”. By the looks of many of the other men in that crowded overheated theater, I was not the only hostage victim in attendance. In fact I saw one dude commit Hara-kiri while shouting “death before dishonor” in the parking lot prior to the screening. At first I thought he was slightly overreacting. And then the movie started.

I have to say, after watching the entire film, it was actually a thousand times worse than I could have imagined. Les Miserables will stand forever as the most miserable cinematic experience I’ve ever suffered through. And this is coming from a guy who saw “Christmas with the Kranks” in theaters, so that should tell you something.

Let me run through a few points about this excruciating horror show for anyone, especially any man, who has not yet been forced to endure it.

Les Miserables apparently holds the Guinness world record for longest musical about a minor parole violation. It tells the utterly pointless tale of an ex-con as he tries to allude a bumbling parole officer for 20 years. This is also, it should be mentioned, the first film to show two decades pass by in real time. So if you’re heading to the theater tonight make sure to pack a change of clothes. My wife told me afterward that the movie, despite it’s torturous running time, actually CUT OUT several scenes from the original play. Too bad they didn’t cut out more scenes. Like every scene. Of course it didn’t have to be that long. Hugh Jackman, the criminal guy, could have just, you know, MOVED OUT OF THE FREAKING CITY IF HE DIDN’T WANT TO BE CAUGHT. Instead this whole game of cat-and-mouse between Jackman and Russell Crowe takes place in one neighborhood. The dumbest criminal of the millennium vs. a law enforcement officer that makes every Leslie Nielsen character look like Sherlock Holmes in comparison.

<snip>

[fadedrose]

1. You're among friends, what did you really think?

Please don't hold back cause you're just too polite. Happy New Year, (B)atman...and thanks for the review.

(I think I'll print it and put it on the fridge)

[dogknob]

4. Just explain that the author meant "elude" and not "allude"

Very funny, though.

[fadedrose]

10. How right you are...

For you other dummies like me who don't know no better, here's what "alude" means:

al·lude/əˈlud/ [uh-lood]
verb (used without object), al·lud·ed, al·lud·ing.

1. to refer casually or indirectly; make an allusion (usually followed by to ): He often alluded to his poverty.

2. to contain a casual or indirect reference (usually followed by to ): The letter alludes to something now forgotten

Related forms:
pre·al·lude, verb (used without object), pre·al·lud·ed, pre·al·lud·ing.

Can be confused: allowed, allude, aloud, elude.

Synonyms
hint, intimate, suggest.

Can you think of a sentence where you would use "preallude" or worse yet, "prealluding"?





It goes on to say that it is often confused with "elude."

[Honeycombe8]

2. Your review doesn't discuss acting, singing, plot development, or anything

that is normally considered part of a movie review. All I get from your "review" is that you don't like the premise of the movie. Nothing about THIS production of the famous play.

So which is it? Do you like Les Mis the story and play...but you don't like this version/production of it?

Or is it that you don't like the story line of Les Mis to begin with, no matter what version a person may see?

If it's the latter, many people may like this production/movie. If it's the former, then you are letting Les Mis fans know that this particular version is not done well and the acting and singing isn't good.

As for me, I saw the play years ago (the traveling version, but it was still the famous Broadway cast). I liked it okay, but wouldn't pay to go see it again. It came on PBS this year, and I didn't watch it. This play is not my thing. It's not bad, but it doesn't capture my attention.

[Atman]

5. First of all, did you notice the link?

It's not MY review, I just reposted it. However, to your points, the reviewer did discuss the singing and acting (after the snip). Don't take it so seriously...I just found it to be a funny review.

[Honeycombe8]

7. Oh...I rarely click on links in posts. So, if your post didn't say you were quoting someone

else's review, I wouldn't know that. Sorry I didn't catch that!

[Glorfindel]

3. I probably won't see the movie, but I like the music

I hated the book when I read it, way back in high school. I do enjoy listening to the songs, though.

[sharp_stick]

6. That's good

I was able to avoid it by offering to babysit the kids while my wife and her Mom went to see it yesterday.

They loved it and I enjoyed hanging around the house with the kids, it was a win/win.

[Enrique]

8. lol, I wouldn't recommend saying this to Russell Crowe's face

You reminded me of someone’s dad who was tossed into the school play at the last minute after his son came down with laryngitis on opening night.

[QED]

9. From George Takei's facebook post

[RevStPatrick]

12. That's the one I saw earlier...

Awesome!!!

[Archae]

11. I call it "The Miserable Movie."

And as you can guess, I have *NO* intention of going to see it or buying the DVD.

[Gidney N Cloyd]

13. No way I could sit through it. I'd react like Elaine (from Seinfeld) at "The English Patient"

[Populist_Prole]

15. Musicals make me cringe anyhow, but thanks for the review

Hollywood schlock + syrupy "holiday" sentiment = Liver bile spewing forth