Moral question from Jurassic Park: Wipe out all the dinosaurs or wipe out the rest of your security?

[charlie and algernon]

So everyone has seen Jurassic Park. Let's move beyond the question of whether or not dinosaurs could or should be cloned.

They exist and are living on a tropical island. They were safely behind electical fences but the fences have failed and now they are roaming free and have already killed two people, injured another. Two kids and an adult are lost on the island and are in mortal danger. As Mr. Hammond himself says, "PEOPLE ARE DYING!!"

You have two options: institute a program that denies the dinosaurs a key protein, thereby killing every last one of them.

or

shut down the system. completely. The one thing still keeping the dinosaurs from controlling the WHOLE island. The one thing still keeping the Raptors, the meanest motherfuckers, still in their cages. Then hope to God that the damn system restarts before said meanest motherfuckers kill the rest of the humans.


What do you do?

[jmowreader]

1. You don't design the park that way in the first place

Using Root Cause Failure Analysis to determine the reason the dinosaurs at Jurassic Park were eating the visitors, we have to come to the conclusion that Jurassic Park failed because John Hammond was a Republican--or, more specifically, a "more money than brains" Republican like all the 2012 presidential challengers and the last three Republican presidents.

Hammond wanted to build a park containing cloned dinosaurs for all the world to marvel at.

Hammond couldn't clone a dinosaur.

He couldn't drive a nail in straight.

He couldn't program a computer, pull fencing, run an excavator or any of the other functions necessary to build this dream park.

He probably couldn't even make up the beds in the fancy, yet fortress-like, hotel he built on the island.

So he contracted all those functions out.

To the lowest bidder.

Because of this, he got some cheap, fat bastard (CFB) to build a security system no one but the CFB could understand, and when Hammond decided to screw the CFB out of money the CFB decided to screw Hammond. With well-documented, tragic results.

Now...if a Democrat would have designed Jurassic Park, he wouldn't have had all the electric fences, the most important part of the system, controlled by a computer system no one else could understand. He would have just used thousand-amp relays controlled by wired switches, the simplest and most reliable form of control, for this. Once they figured out the CFB had turned off the fences, they could have just flipped the switch, regained control and possibly fried the CFB at the same time.

[cliffordu]

2. Fuck me.

Well played, sir (madame?) Well played!!

[Suich]

3. Excellent!

[charlie and algernon]

4. That is awesome