One of my alcoholic patients is following up on his THIRD recent ER visit for pancreatitis.

[Aristus]

I just had a conversation with him about this very thing two weeks ago. Ever feel like you're spinning your wheels?...

[In_The_Wind]

1. I am so sorry! Yes, I feel that way sometimes.

[Sekhmets Daughter]

2. The pull of the alcohol is greater than the pull of life or health.

It is so very sad.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. I don't think you're spinning your wheels, my dear Aristus...

It seems to me that he's still trying to get well.

That's just how it strikes me...

[nomorenomore08]

4. You can only help some people so much...

[Tobin S.]

5. Sometimes there's not much you can do but patch 'em up and send 'em back out.

Smoking, drug addiction, alcoholism are all terrible for your health, but people often persist in their ways even after they are starting to have serious problems.

A firefighter friend of ours told us he sometimes gets calls for people who have emphysema and are on oxygen in their homes, but still smoke. They'll call 911 frantically trying to explain how they can't breathe. The crew will arrive at the house to find it stinking of cigarette smoke. He also told us a couple of times he responded to calls where someone who was on oxygen and smoking set themselves and their houses on fire.

I used to smoke. I quit ten months ago after 20 years and sometimes I feel so stupid that I did that for so long. What got me to quit was a co-worker who was 52 and told me he had emphysema. He still smokes.

I have a friend who has lost most of his other friends and most of his family because he's a drunk. The last time I talked to him he had a long weekend and told me he drank 72 beers in that time. He's one of those alcoholics that has to drink or suffer severe withdrawal. I've known him for over 20 years and he has been an alcoholic for at least 15 years. He's lost almost everything and can't hold down a job. He's almost 40 and still lives with his mom because he can't support himself. But he continues to drink no matter what anyone says to him.

In short, there's probably not much you can personally do to change their behavior. You can patch them up and tell them not to do it again, but they will continue on the path of self-destruction until they change on their own or die an early death.

[MrsBrady]

6. you can't make drinkers do what they are supposed to do

when alcohol has a grip on them...

I'm sure you know that....and I'm sure its frustrating.

vibes

[Aristus]

7. Thanks for the kind words, everybody...

This sure is a great place to blow off a little steam...

[tavalon]

8. You are offering him a chance

That's not spinning wheels. Thinking that failure to get him to find a way out of his hole is spinning your wheels, then, maybe you are.

Disconnect the outcome with the attempts to get him to let go and ________. You never win against alcohol and your patient is the only one one who could have, may now or may in the future choose life over alcohol. Do everything you can to understand that in your head and in your heart. This is between your patient and alcohol and it always has been. You're not at fault. Nor are you going to be his savior, and forgiving oneself for that was for me, one of the hardest things I've ever done.

The situation you describe is even harder for us, the families who have addicts. And we've had to go through all the steps including anger, nay, fury at our _____________ or not fighting the bottle. It felt personal and it wasn't. Many of us have lost family to the fight, some metaphorically and others on your ER.

If I sound like a walking,talking 12 stepper, I am. However, I think there are more ways to skin a cat. 12 step worked for me but just as a hint to my fellow RNS, if you go to Codependents Anonymous or Adult Children, expect portions of your job to get harder Don't tell anyone, but probably 90% of us are codependents. The other 10% are recovering! Lol

[Aristus]

11. I don't know if you ever saw the TV show, "The West Wing" set in the White House of a fictional

President.

The President's chief of staff, Leo, was a recovering alcoholic and prescription drug abuser.

One time, he fell off the wagon, and had a hard time explaining it to his friends and family.

Leo said: "When I got out of re-hab, I was welcomed with open arms. You fall off the wagon again, it's not like that. No one talks to you. 'Get away from me!' - That's what it feels like!"

It was an interesting insight into the mind of an addict.

[tavalon]

15. Yes, that first time there is so much hope all around

By the tenth there is just doubt and sadness.

Watched that show maybe half a dozen times - the whole series, I mean, half a dozen times.

[Lady Freedom Returns]

9. Just remeber all the cases that you weren't "Spinning your wheels".

If you think of those cases where it seems like your not helping, you start to believe your not.

If your remember the cases where you did help, you will remember you ARE helping.

[Aristus]

10. Well, it helps that one of my formerly non-compliant patients came in today with improved

blood pressure. On his last visit, his b/p was sky-high. He wasn't taking his medication. This time, through the simple expedient of taking his medication as prescribed, he has the blood pressure of a 17 year-old. I told him I was proud of him, and to keep up the good work.

So there are things to celebrate, after all...

LFR!

[BlancheSplanchnik]

12. alcoholism SUCKS. Especially for the other people who are hurt, tossed aside,

have their lives disrupted and their hearts broken by someone who has what I like to call, "Acquired Psychopathy Syndrome".

Yes, the alcoholic is destroying himself on a worse level than the people who are being destroyed by their love and desire to help or fix the alcoholic, but at least the alcoholic is anesthetized..... :sardonic grin:

The things they do to themselves and to others resembles psychopathy in terms of putting their needs above all else, and lack of empathy for the impact on others.

www.soberrecovery.com is a really good resource site, with a section in Forums devoted to "Friends and Family".

[tavalon]

16. It's fascinating in a horrifying way

to watch them turn into people with borderline personalities right before your eyes. Borderline is a term I wish the DSM would replace with about nine other descriptors but it doesn't look like they are so I guess we're stuck with it. But, yeah, normally giving people who become addicts turn so selfish and so manipulative. It's awful.

[HappyMe]

13. You can only do so much.

The rest is up to your patient.

[Arugula Latte]

14. Addiction is a monster I would not wish to wrestle with.