Not so much into Mother's Day? Me either.

[ChoralScholar]

My mother was mentally ill, emotionally and physically abusive, as well as a serious alcoholic and opiate addict.

My childhood at home was miserable, and I get tired each year of pretending that I miss my mother and that my formative years were something to reminisce about.

I would love to post this on facebook for all my family and friends to see, but I just cant make waves that big right now.

Thanks for being here to share with.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. My dear ChoralScholar...

Hey, long time no see! I'm with you on Mother's Day, although my mom is a nice person. We just never celebrated it.

Good to see you posting again.

[In_The_Wind]

2. Don't care for Mother's Day cause my mom took a hike when I was a baby.

I was taken in by my aunt Grace and uncle Fox. Grace was ill, bedridden. There was a woman who came to take care of her, six days a week. My uncle's mother lived there also. So, I was the only child in a house full of adults.

Georgia May was a wonderful substitute for the mother I never had. I looked forward to going along for the ride to take her home each night. Her children always welcomed me into their games. It was the only time I got to play with other children. I remember getting in so much trouble one night when I hugged another little girl to say goodbye. I got a spanking for that. They weren't white like me.

My aunt died when I was 9. Goodbye to Georgia May.
Hello to two alcoholic stepmothers

Oh yeah. Mother's Day was always something to look forward to.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

3. I'm so sorry, my dear In_The_Wind...

You deserved so much better, sweetie...

[In_The_Wind]

5. Thanks Peggy. Red, pink or white? What color flower?

Remember the flowers on Mother's Day. Everyone was offered one at church. I never knew what to do. I didn't want other children to feel sorry for me. I didn't want to go to church or be around anyone. This day was among the ones that hurt to much to talk about.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

8. I don't recall our church doing that.

We were Catholic, and I don't think they celebrated that way.

I can see how acutely awful that would make you feel...

[In_The_Wind]

11. We were Protestants but the tradition seems to be a Southern one.

For Mother's Day, at least in the South, it is traditional to wear red roses on Mother's Day to signify a living mother, and white roses to honor a mother who is no longer alive. For this reason, you might not want to give white roses to your living mother on Mother's Day, except perhaps mixed with other colors to honor her mother if her mother has passed on.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

13. Ah, no wonder!

We were in CA by then......no Southern traditions out here.

[Sekhmets Daughter]

7. So sad...

[In_The_Wind]

12. It was.

[Sekhmets Daughter]

4. You are not alone....

There are so many people who view Mother's Day, or Father's Day for that matter, through an entirely different set of experiences than the Hallmark variety we seem to expect everyone to have shared and enjoyed.

Don't pretend... just be happy for those who did have Hallmark Moms...you'll feel better about the day and yourself.

[grilled onions]

9. Been There Too

Never did like anger take over my days and though Mother's Day never was anything but tension,disappointment and dread as I grew up I sought out the mothers who were also sad. Their children died long before they should. They had spouses that were louses and took off long ago. I always felt better cheering them up on such a day(any holiday actually). It made me feel I was doing my part for her departed children(or perhaps she never had any kids in the first place) and it took my mind off what I used to have to deal with each Mother's Day.

[Sekhmets Daughter]

10. That's really wonderful grilled onions!

You've turned a negative experience into something positive and good!

[Scruffy Rumbler]

6. Hey ChoralScholar!

Father's Day is like that for me and for very similar reasons. Cannot share it with most of the family as they weren't the focus of his attentions.
Be well this day... it is almost done!

[ChoralScholar]

14. Thank you guys.

It's nice to know I'm not alone.

[applegrove]

15. Vibes to you.

[Archae]

16. I adore my Mom...

Especially now since Dad died 3 years ago.

ChoralScholar, I'm sorry you had to go through so much hell with your Mom.

I don't like "Mothers' Day" because I consider it to be just a day for buying junk.

For me, everyday is Mothers' Day, and in 2 weeks I'll be spending a week with my Mom at her home, helping out.

[olddots]

17. i don't like the blatant materialism about these special days .

My parents didn't celebrate anything so as a kid who at one time wanted to be like all other kids I would have loved to celebrate just about anything .

Could we just get a People Day to celebrate people we actually care about ?

[nolabear]

18. I'm sorry you've been left out. Mine died when I was little but I like it.

I like mothers. I don't know what it's like to have one but motherhood itself is incredibly powerful and I love honoring it. And I have marvelous sons, in spite of feeling like a stone cold rookie in raising them.

I hope you find some joy in Morhers Day someday. Any day without the possibility of joy is a day less than you deserve.

[LeftofObama]

19. Thank you for not making me feel so alone.

I was raised by a physically abusive father and a physically and emotionally abusive mother. Mother's day means no more to me than National Pick Your Nose Day or National Wipe The Sweat Off Of Your Forehead Day. My father died several years ago and other than driving by the cemetery I've never even thought about him. My mother is in her mid 80's and while she can still be emotionally abusive, at least I can verbally tell her what I think and move on.

[lunatica]

20. I haven't paid attention to holidays or 'special' days for 20 years

Back in the early 1990s I just stopped. I announced that I would no longer do Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthdays, mothers day or any other special day like grandmothers day or fathers day. It's all little more than a guilt trip for family members. It's only special for the big stores and then only to make money. I see no reason to keep buying the sugary sweet pink fog hallmark version of relationships.

It was one of the smartest things I ever did.

[datasuspect]

24. i only celebrate thanksgiving

the rest of the holidays: fuck 'em.

[Phentex]

21. I have not spoken to my mom in six months...

when I called her to tell her my dog was dying of cancer. I received one of the most painful responses I've ever heard, from a dog person no less.

Mind you, we have never been close, never formed a bond, and I always thought it was due to circumstances beyond our control. As an adult, however, I thought we could change that. We tried on and off over the years but it was superficial at best.

After that call I asked myself once again why do I do this to myself? What do I want from her? What does she want from me?

She has made no effort to contact me since then, even when she heard my dog had passed away. It was a slow boil but that was the bubbling over for me.

So the pretending is over.

Fortunately for me, I have a fantastic mother in law who defies all of the ugly mother in law stereotypes. She loves me unconditionally and she has gone out of her way to bond with my children (hell, she makes dog biscuits, too!)

I wanted to post something similar about the estrangement and how hard yesterday was for some people who have lost their moms but whose moms are still alive.

[Scuba]

22. We must be siblings.

[Populist_Prole]

23. It's a matter of "holiday" burnout for me

While my childhood was far from idyllic I don't really have ( much of ) a grudge against my parents. I just can't stand how every time I turn around it's this-day or that-day, or so-and-so's day with all the hype and social pressure to give a shit. Tired of it all.

[LadyHawkAZ]

25. My least favorite holiday...

I accepted Happy Mother's Day wishes from my daughters because they meant well, passed one on to the daughter with the baby because she deserves it, and politely asked everyone else to please not bring the subject up.

I spent most of the day on the road with no one wishing me a happy mother's day. It was refreshing.

[agracie]

26. Not so much into holidays in general... just weary of all the hoo-hah... cancelled due to..

...lack of interest.

Large gatherings are the bane of my existence. I much prefer a quiet visit with a friend or relative.