Memorable public farts you've witnessed .

[olddots]

A squeaker stink bomb in a crowded elevator with kids who all laughed out loud at the farter .

[mokawanis]

1. Another elevator incident

I was in an elevator with a friend and two other people when my friend passed out. He stumbled into me and then collapsed, letting rip with 4 or 5 loud farts on his way to the floor.

[jmowreader]

2. I am the undisputed king of MRE farts

After only two days of MREs I cut one that cleared 120 people off an outdoor rifle range at Fort Drum. My farts are covered under the Chemical Warfare Convention: six days of steady MREs and I have to report my asshole to the UN.

[JustABozoOnThisBus]

4. Please stay out of Syria ...

... some politicians are looking for evidence to justify war.

"It's clear the people of this town were overcome by methane, let's bomb!"

[olddots]

3. thanksgiving old people fart fest after dinner while football watching

The TV is blasting and so are the farts

[In_The_Wind]

9. LOL

[LeftofObama]

5. I once farted in line at an amusement park.

It was a little one, but OMG the smell! It carried all the way to the front of the line and I heard a woman yell, "OOOOH, somebody farted!" I'm sitting here laughing out loud just remembering it!

I don't care what anybody says, farts are funny!

[CurtEastPoint]

6. I once cut one in a restaurant, sitting in a booth...

with a smooth, curved seat and what I thought was going to be a rather quiet one sounded like a foghorn, and as soon as I did it, this little KID from across the room stood UP and POINTED at me! I am laughing again thinking about it now!

[LeftofObama]

7. That actually made me LOL!

See! I told you farts are funny.

Edit: If I had been there I would have given you a big thumbs up!

[MiddleFingerMom]

8. Christmas Eve, my senior year...

..
.
.
... at a Catholic high school, there was a midnight Mass for our class in this beautiful little chapel
at the school. Being Catholic and being 17- & 18-year-old boys and girls, many of us showed up
at least half-shitfaced. It was SRO and shoulder-to-shoulder.
.
During a lull in the Mass, someone in the very center let loose with one of the loudest, most
basso profundo floppy-cheeked toothless-wonder thunderfarts that you could possibly imagine.
.
Some barks and some laughter, but most of us maintained minimal control of ourselves...
though we were gasping somewhat from the effort. The priest glared in the offending
direction.
.
Order was restored, but several seconds after that a follow-up fart... even louder and
floppy-cheekier. The crowd lost it and even the altar boys standing alongside the priest broke
out laughing. He glared, first at them , and then at the crowd until order was once again
restored.
.
Whoever it was had IMPECCABLE timing. After a perfect several-second-long pause, a third
fart put the first two to shame with its length, breadth and, um... you know... depth.
Even the priest lost it, eventually wiping tears from his eyes as he announced that we were
going to take a several minute long break during which time he expected everyone to get it
out of their systems.
.
He looked pointedly in the offending direction again and said, "until EVERYONE. GETS. IT.
OUT. OF. THEIR. SYSTEM."
.
All good things must pass (sorry)... as did this... but I BET that incident is still legendary
at that school these four decades later.
.
.
.

[libodem]

13. It's the worst thing ever trying to surpress laughter

at a solemn event. My brother who just passed away last week, and I were sitting together at a big, Catholic wedding, for our cousin.
When the Priest took a drink from the chalice, my brother made chugging noises in his throat, that only I could hear. That started the most painful five minutes of my life. Neither of us made a noise but we shook, held our breath, fought tears and pinched ourselves to make it stop. I'd barely gain control and I'd feel him crack up again and I'd lose it. It was excruciating.

[sharp_stick]

10. A young mom at my kids pediatrician

let out a little squeaker while we were waiting with the runts to see the doc.

The adults dutifully ignored the fart in a socially conscious way but my three kids and about 4 others in the room just started laughing and I mean loudly.

The poor woman, with her pretty much newborn baby, was somewhat embarrassed until the woman sitting next to her pointed at the baby and said something like "See what you have to look forward to in a few years". That cut the tension pretty nicely.

[pipi_k]

11. Out on the dancefloor

at my stepdaughter's wedding reception with Mr Pipi...nice slow dance

Someone let a huge bomb out there

Wow...It was like a barnyard full of animals had been fed baked beans and cabbage.

So, I think farts are hilarious, and started laughing my ass off, which had the unintended effect of making people believe either Mr Pipi or I had shit ourselves

[libodem]

12. OMG

I'm giggling like a schoolgirl. I'm so immature. Gawd, why are farts so damned funny.

[pipi_k]

14. I know, right?

I'm 60 years old and still find them incredibly funny!




PS...you know what's a hoot? If you have one of those hand held shower things, wait till you feel a huge tooter coming on, then direct the spray toward your sphincter and let it rip.

Sounds like a duck trying to quack under water.

[libodem]

15. My friend has a fart machine

And had it out for a party. One of her favorite storys includes a part where one of the husbands sniffed the air after hearing one. It's so stupid but we always laugh about it. I'm almost 60, too. We must be lost causes. Huh?

[olddots]

16. going up an esculator behind the porn people at the CES show inVegas

everyone enjoyed it .