I've decided to become a shameless attention whore for money!

[struggle4progress]

Now I need only decide the next step

1 vote, 0 passes | Time left: Unlimited
	Obama responsible for recent outbreak of crop circles
	0 (0%)
	I took LSD with (insert famous name) and then we had 3-way sex with a gay whale
	0 (0%)
	UN planning to confiscate Americans' toothpaste and shampoo
	0 (0%)
	Bigfoot's ghost has haunted the icebox in my mountain cabin ever since I killed and ate him
	0 (0%)
	Research shows math classes cause health problems
	0 (0%)
	How standing downtown naked and smeared with Crisco helps me communicate with space aliens
	1 (100%)
	Government cover-up: Scientist studied time travel before disappearing
	0 (0%)
	My unsuccessful career as a mob hitman
	0 (0%)
	Most websites are actually owned by the CIA
	0 (0%)
	0 DU members did not wish to select any of the options provided.
Show usernames Disclaimer: This is an Internet poll

[LadyHawkAZ]

1. I'll take Crisco covered aliens for $1000, Alex

with the caveat that it's worthless without pics.

[struggle4progress]

2. It would be unscientific to just post the pictures without first summarizing all the research

[LadyHawkAZ]

3. That looks like it was WRITTEN by aliens!

*squints*

[Skittles]

4. you want I should kick your attention-whoring ass, struggle4progress?

it's been too long, I think

[struggle4progress]

5. dunno. is you still got them fuzzy slippers with the big floppy ears?

[Skittles]

9. don't worry

I won't break your arm; I'll just bend it a little

[Chan790]

6. you have to specify how you failed as a mob hitman.

For example (this is where being a writer comes in useful), I've always thought it would be amusing to write a hitman in the form of a Clouseau-like character.

He doesn't really try to kill people, he just seems to awkwardly contribute to the demise of other people by way of his abrupt clumsiness...so he figures he might as well collect the contracts.

[trof]

8. Actually, I think you're on to something.

"The Inadvertent Assassin"

"It seemed like Augustini (Fat Augie) Massereri was born under some malevolent black cloud.
Nothing bad ever happened to Augie himself, but those around him seemed to meet with unfortunate (and many times highly unusual) ends.

Fat Augie was a gentle soul. He was a bit quiet and introverted, but always smiling and cheerful.
He had few friends, and for good reason. In his neighborhood, he was regarded as a 'Jonah'.
If anything could go wrong when you were with Augie, it did.:

Go for it.

[Brigid]

7. You're going to become a Republican?

Say it ain't so!

[struggle4progress]

17. Nope. Not gonna become a Republican, just gonna try to get their money

[nomorenomore08]

10. Poor Bigfoot! What'd he ever do to you???

[struggle4progress]

16. He broke into my cabin at night and gobbled all my cheese puffs

[CrazyOrangeCat]

18. So . . . does one hickory smoke a Yeti??

[Dash87]

11. Could you diagram these on a chalkboard for me? Crying gets extra points.

[img][/img]

[Aristus]

12. You mean you haven't been up until now?

[struggle4progress]

15. The past is past. The important thing is I've decided to do it for money now.

[HappyMe]

13. I would go with the Crisco.

Not on a sunny day though.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

14. shameless being the operative word here.