Uses for really crappy coffee?

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

Let me start off by saying that I'm not a coffee snob. I used to work in construction and I'd drink whatever was brewing in the trailer (and it was NOT gourmet -- not by a long shot), so it's not like I have easily offended taste buds.

But I recently inherited a two-pound can of some really foul coffee, bad enough that even I won't drink it, and given to me by the original buyer who felt the same way.

So without brewing stuff (I know there are lots of uses for used coffee grounds), any suggestions on what I should do with this crap?

[Xyzse]

1. Does it also smell bad?

I've used coffee to line the sides of tea cup candles.
As well as placing it inside soft fabric with sand... Which can be warmed up and placed as a weight on the eyes while someone is lying down. I use it for times I do massage for some people!

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

6. Smells basically like coffee -- just tastes really bitter

I suppose if I dumped in a ton of cream and sugar I wouldn't notice it so much.

[Xyzse]

13. Then I guess my suggestions would work

I like the smell of coffee, so it works when it gets heated up.

[MiddleFingerMom]

2. I sprinkle coffee (or espresso grounds) on top of vanilla ice cream (DELICIOUS).

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

9. I'm going to try this...

Even if the coffee tastes bad, the grounds might still be good enough.

[lame54]

3. Open a Starbucks

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

5. I'd have to grow a soul patch (nt)

[harmonicon]

25. +1

Shit, that was funny.

[Moondog]

4. Here =>

http://shine.yahoo.com/green/20-unusual-uses-coffee-183200501.html

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

8. I saw this...

but most of the suggestions are for used grounds -- I'd rather not go to the trouble of brewing up a zillion pots of coffee that I'm not going to drink.

Killing fridge odors seems little weird -- wouldn't that make all your other food smell like coffee. That sounds a little gross even if the coffee is otherwise good.

Edit: On the other hand, I do have a cat box in the basement where the smell of coffee might be a suitable alternative.

[Chan790]

10. No, it absorbs odors like charcoal does. n/t

[olddots]

7. yeah Starbucks might be running low

or it makes good kitty litter for weasels if you have some .

the cans make nifty storage containers .

[antigone382]

11. You can dye stuff with it.

You have to put it in a sock or some other fabric that it can't get out of, and then boil it, and then soak whatever you want to dye in there for a minute. Then I think you just wash it in cold water (maybe vinegar sets the dye, IDK), and then dry it on a really hot setting to set it for good.

Coffee grounds are also good for absorbing terrible odors; or you can just compost them.

[surrealAmerican]

19. What color do you get?

I like this idea, but does it yield a dark brown? ... merely beige? ... sort of grey?

Whether you use vinegar or salt likely depends on the fiber content of your fabric.

[antigone382]

24. I tried it on pants once and they had a brownish cast to them.

I suppose it *tints* more than it dyes, but it's kind of a cool effect if that's what you're going for.

[Arkansas Granny]

12. I've heard of spreading used coffee grounds around garden and house plants.

I don't know what the effect would be for unused coffee grounds.

[OriginalGeek]

14. When my stepmom had the hives

she was prescribed a coffee enema.




I can't promise you that wasn't just my dad playing a really mean trick on her though.

[applegrove]

15. Try sprinkling salt in the filter. That's how diner restaurants make theirs taste

less bitter.

[nomorenomore08]

16. I might second the gardening suggestion.

But I guess it depends on the pH of your soil, because of the coffee's acidity.

[LeftofObama]

17. I read somewhere, (although I don't remember where)

that you can put it in a nylon stocking, tie it in a knot and put it under the seat in your car to absorb odors.

[LadyHawkAZ]

18. I either give it away, or feed it to unwanted guests

who I don't want to share my good coffee with.

[eShirl]

20. combine it with cheap vodka and some kind of sugar, pass it off as kahlua (sp?) on friends

or enemies

[Demo_Chris]

21. Donate it to your local Tea Party or GOP office. nt

[u4ic]

22. Bake with it

Before I was gluten free, I used brewed coffee for my chocolate cakes/brownies/muffins. Not enough for it to be a coffee/espresso taste, just enough to give it a richer flavour. I'm sure there are recipes on the net.

[RedCloud]

23. Dilute it and water plants with it.

If they turn into giant Venus flytraps, discontinue.

[politicat]

26. Try cold brewing it.

I've noticed that over-roasted coffee (if it's bitter, that's likely the problem) mellows out nicely in a cold brew. I'd run a test batch (1 quart mason jar, 1 & 1/3 c grounds, fill the rest of the jar with water and let it sit for 12 hours, filter through a regular coffee filter*, mix the cold brew with water (hot or cold, somewhere between 1:3 and 1:1 coffee to water).

If it still sucks, then ground coffee make nice mulch for acid loving plants. Also, it seems to repel some pests.

Here's a cold brew tutorial : http://www.thenourishinggourmet.com/2012/05/how-to-cold-brew-coffee.html

*if you have a regular auto-drip, use the basket to strain into the carafe. Just leave the machine off.

[davsand]

33. I echo the cold brew use.

Even REALLY cheap coffee will work in a cold brew. Makes the *BEST* Iced Coffee or Iced Latte and it's a lot cheaper than a trip to that coffee chain that shall not be named...

Just fill up your container with coffee and water and then leave it sit for at least 12 hours. Strain the grounds out and then make up an iced beverage with any flavors you happen to like (I use a teaspoon of regular vanilla) whatever sweetener you like, and a healthy dollop of cream/half and half/milk/soymilk--or any creamy beverage.

Park out on the porch or on your stoop and enjoy!



Laura

[azurnoir]

27. enema's?

I've heard of coffee enema's, not quite sure what they're supposed to do, but it would be one case where taste doesn't matter much

[Tommy_Carcetti]

28. Use it for Wacky Cake

http://cakecentral.com/recipe/wacky-cake-2


Ingredients
•* 3 cups all purpose flour * 1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder * 2 cups granulated sugar * 2 teaspoon baking soda * 1 teaspoon salt * 2 cup brewed coffee (or 2 cups of warm water mixed with 2.5 teaspoons of espresso powder or instant coffee granules) * 2 Tbsp white vinegar (this activates the baking soda for the cake to rise) * 4 teaspoons vanilla extract * 12 Tbsp (1/2 cup plus 4 Tbsp) olive oil


Instructions

1 Preheat oven to 350°F / 179°C with a rack in the middle position. Prepare two cake tins with wax liner on the base & non-stick spray. 2 In a large bowl, vigorously whisk together the sifted flour, cocoa powder, sugar, baking soda, and salt until there are no visible clumps (cocoa tends to clump up). (sift all powders) 3 In a separate bowl, mix together the coffee (or water plus coffee granules), vinegar, vanilla extract, and olive oil. 4 Pour the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients and stir only until they just come together. The mixture should be thin and rather lumpy. 5 Pour the batter into the cake tins, filling them about two-thirds of the way full. Place in oven and bake for 35-40 minutes, until a bamboo skewer inserted in the center comes out clean. 6 Remove from oven and let cool in the pan for 5 minutes, then remove from pans and let cool on a rack. Once cool, you can eat plain, or decorate and serve.

[hobbit709]

29. The 5 grades of coffee

coffee, java, joe, jamoke, and carbon remover.

[Taverner]

30. Crappy coffee makes for good coffee milkshakes and iced coffee drinks

[sinkingfeeling]

31. Put it around the rose bushes.

[TrogL]

32. Smuggling drugs

Actually, this is an old one and they've now trained the drug dogs to sniff for coffee.