Menopause anyone?

[PasadenaTrudy]

Not sure where to post on this, since the women's forums aren't very active. I just need support going through this because I feel like I'm losing my mind sometimes. Weight gain, crying, feelings of despair. I am on HRT and going to be starting new psych meds soon. I'm on Cymbalta for depression and fibromyalgia but I think it has contributed to my weight gain. My mom and my sister are dead so I have no women to talk to who have gone through this. No female friends either. It is a very lonely time of life for me

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. I am so sorry to hear that you're alone as you face this, my dear PasadenaTrudy...

I don't know that I can help; I had surgical menopause as a result of my hysterectomy and oophorectomy and I was on Premarin for decades. I was lucky.

Perhaps you could ask your doctor or health care provider if s/he can point you to some sort of support group. I think they exist.

Hang in there! It will get better.

[elleng]

2. Very sorry you're alone, Trudy,

but we're always here.

No tips, as I, thankfully, escaped any adverse symptoms.

[hamsterjill]

5. Good for you!

I thought I'd done the same thing, but I'm finding that now, at age 55, that I'm encountering some symptoms. My research indicates that this is not necessarily an uncommon thing. I didn't understand that "post menopause" means for the rest of your life!!! LOL

Thankfully, the ones I'm experiencing at this stage of the game are relatively mild in nature. But it came as a surprise to me that symptoms can still show up later.

[Phentex]

3. There are a couple of threads in the women's world group...

that may help. It's not too busy but people do respond there.

[MissMillie]

4. I guess I'm what they call perimenopausal

late stage. I'm 49.

I go months w/o a period, then go a few months where I have one, then back to skipping months.

I can always tell which months I'm going to get it because for about 4 days before, I have persistent hunger.

I haven't really gained any weight, but I do get grouchy and/or depressed. I will confess that I self-medicate w/ alcohol, which helps when I'm grouchy, but of course makes things worse when I'm depressed.

I haven't discussed HRT w/ my physician yet (mostly because I haven't had a primary care physician for a long time). My instinct is to forgo it if I can.

My mom didn't finish her cycles until she was 53, but that really was because she was on HRT. My oldest sister had her uterus/ovaries removed and was on HRT for a while after that. My middle sister went for 2.5 years w/o a period--no HRT--and then started up again, of and on, for about a year. My twin sister is in the same boat that I am.

I don't think about it very often, but when I do I can pretty much attribute a lot of my "low" feelings come right around the time I am or I should be having my period.

If you have good health insurance, don't be afraid to see your physician on regular 90-day intervals, just for a quick check-up and to talk about how your meds are working and discuss all of your options.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel--and no, it's not an oncoming train.

[dixiegrrrrl]

27. There is so much variability in women's experiences with menopause, isn't there?

I was so lucky.
I started at 48 and was done at 53.
Took light dose of estrogen for about 3 years, the worst symptom was sweats. Did not help that summers here are so damn hot.
Seeing a gyn doc ( a woman, I insisted) was the smartest thing I did. She had answers to questions I did not even think of.
This was before the handy age of computer look ups.

[LiberalEsto]

6. The thing that helped me through it

was drinking 2 or 3 oz. of soy milk every evening. I liked the chocolate flavored kind.

Don't worry - you have us!

[PasadenaTrudy]

7. thanks everyone

I'll be 50 in January, so I'm in the perimenopause stage. I've looked for support groups and can't find any. Just online forums. Better than nothing!

[KamaAina]

8. No, thanks. I'm male.

Sorry to hear this. You've been a welcome addition to Teh Longue.

[AnneD]

9. Two Words...

Holy Basil. I found it in small caplets. It kept me from killing hubby and teen daughter or using my knitting needles in an inappropriate way.

Also, find a circle of friends. I love my knitting group, but anything that interests you will do. Or even volunteering. That really gets you out of your head.

Do some reading on the subject. Let's you know you are not alone.

[mainer]

10. It's the interrupted sleep that makes you go nuts

I went through menopause about 10 years ago. Didn't sleep well for almost a year, felt depressed, couldn't focus -- and my job is in the creative arts, which meant my work was truly suffering. I tried all the "natural" stuff from the natural foods store. Didn't do a thing.

Finally, in despair, I asked my MD for hormones.

It took about a month for the ERT effects to kick in -- suddenly I was sleeping again, and feeling so much better.

Women are told to "tough it out" and "go natural," but for some of us, going through a natural menopause leads to so much dysfunction that it's worth it to me to have a higher risk of breast cancer, whatever, just to have my mind functioning again.

There was also an article in the NYT that said ERT given in the perimenopausal period may protect against Alzheimer's. (But given years after menopause doesn't help at all.)

How long have you been on HRT? Could it be you still need time for it to take effect?

[PasadenaTrudy]

12. I've been

on for 11 months now. Vivelle dot and prometrium pills.

[mainer]

16. You know what really helps? Exercise.

I found that with vigorous aerobic exercise (I walk up a mountain every day) I felt much, much better.

You'll lose weight, you'll sleep better, and you'll get the benefit of endorphins.

Hope you'll find a way to get through this. Bad menopause sucks.

[PasadenaTrudy]

23. I can't

do vigorous exercise, I have CFS and fibromyalgia. I try to walk around the block everyday and do laundry, grocery shopping. I'm beat after all that!

[RebelOne]

11. Fortunately, I breezed through menopause

and didn't even know it was happening. The only problem was when my periods stopped and I thought I might be pregnant, so I took a pregnancy test, which showed negative. I have spoken to a lot of women who were going through it and they complained about hot flashes, sleeplessness, weight gain, etc. I guess I was one of the lucky ones who did not experience any of that.

[PasadenaTrudy]

13. yes

one of the rare lucky ones!

[LiberalElite]

28. me too -

my hot flashes felt more like mild summer breezes. On the other hand, a friend who's waaay past menopause still gets hot flashes and jokes that at her funeral, steam will be coming out of the casket.

[840high]

31. me, too

[lunatica]

14. I'm so sorry you're going through a tough time with menopause

It was bad for me too and it took forever and it started when I was in my late thirties when there weren't even any doctors who specialized in it.

But once I was over it everything felt a hundred times better than it ever had before. No more periods of pms or mood swings! I've had much more fun with life after menopause! There really is a silver lining in the distance ahead of you.

[mainer]

15. I think bad menopause runs in families

If your mom had a tough time, you're more likely to have a tough time.

[PasadenaTrudy]

24. She was

mentally ill so I can't remember if the meno made her worse....My sis had a horrible menopause.

[TeeYiYi]

17. Check out...

...natural remedies at www.earthclinic.com.

I would look under the ailments tab for menopause and any other individual symptoms you might be having. All potential remedies are offered by actual people from around the world.

TYY

[oregonjen]

18. Try this website

http://www.power-surge.com/

I highly recommend it. It's a wonderful resource full of women going through peri menopause and menopause.

[nolabear]

20. Oh good! I recommended it below and didn't know if it was still in operation.

Glad to hear it is. It's great.

[PasadenaTrudy]

25. Yes, I know that site

It's finally working again too!

[nolabear]

19. Oh, sweetie. I'm sorry. I had a rough time for a while but it got better.

I'm utterly cancer-phobic so didn't go in for HRT. I had a hot case of the crazies too, and didn't sleep for a looooooooong time. I value sleep like nothing else now (still a little trouble but tremendously better).

It will get better. And it will free you of some things, if you let it. With this kind of shift, some excellent change in perspective and mission in life can happen. But it'll take time. For now, don't hesitate to take exquisite care of yourself. You are emerging from a cocoon and becoming something new. That always produces some suffering, but it can produce wonderful things, too. And I mean this in no woo woo way whatsoever.

As to practicalities, I found meditative deep breathing helps flashes and the feeling of despair (believe it or not it's a symptom and if you know that's all it is, and harmless, you can push it aside). Weight gain could be from all kinds of things, but don't let that mess with your sense of self worth. It's a puzzle to figure out. I find a very low carb diet very helpful for anti-inflammatory properties and slow, even weight loss. Black cohosh helps some people. Buy yourself a fancy hand fan and don't be afraid to flash it like it's a diamond.

And keep talking. Btw there used to be a nice website, www.power_surge.com but I don't know if it's still active.

[Arugula Latte]

21. I'm pre-menopausal and I feel like I have "pregnancy brain" again.

I am so spacy and forgetful lately. It's a little frightening.

I don't have any advice since I am just starting down this road but I hope you can find support and answers.

[noamnety]

22. The only advice I have

is if you have a waterbed, check if the thermostat is malfunctioning. I suffered through a half year of "hot flashes" needlessly because I'm a moron.

[antiquie]

26. Excuse me.

[mcar]

29. Black cohosh

Is helping me with hot flashes and other symptoms. Evening primrose oil for the hair falling out part. I'm also hypothyroid so the thyroid medication helps.

Still, the insomnia, fuzzy thinking, depression and joint pain can be difficult to deal with. I know my symptoms aren't as bad as some others though and it won't last forever.

Good luck to you. You're part of a vast sisterhood.

[PasadenaTrudy]

30. Thanks

I tried those herbs and didn't help, hence the HRT....I just can't imagine years of feeling like this. I won't want to live if it gets worse...

[mainer]

32. The problem with black cohosh: may not be as labeled

There was a recent study of herbal remedies, using DNA testing of what bottles actually contained. One of the brands promising black cohosh had nothing of the sort inside it.

[Hell Hath No Fury]

33. Oh, yeah, been there. :)

There is soooo much more to peri/menopause than we ever learned from our Moms or magazines.

I totally lost my shit during perimenopause.

It turns out I (and the other women in my family) am extremely mentally sensitive to the types of hormone shifts that happen with The Change. I was crying at everything -- commercials, art work, my cats playing -- there wasn't anything that couldn't have me erupting into tears. Sometimes those tears lasted for days. Then it started to last for weeks. Then it turned into a constant state of utter despair. I also developed anxiety, the kind that made me want to crawl out of my skin because it was so intense and unending. I attempted HRT and the Pill several times but they honestly made me feel even MORE crazy. During this time I also tried to manage it "naturally": yoga, acupuncture, vitamins, meditation, herbs. They all helped -- a little -- but eventually became useless against my very serious symptoms.

I finally said "uncle" after a particularly bad 10 days when I was crying constantly and had cycling anxiety so bad I would be in panic for hours at a time, unable to break the cycling with every breathing/calming trick I knew. I was in such emotional pain and in such bad shape from lack of sleep that around day 7 I started to get suicidal. Thankfully, I was still in a place I could make the decision to get help. I went on Celexa -- within 12 hours of my first dose (and I am not kidding about that) I felt totally normal again -- it not only stabilized me emotionally, but helped my very insane hot flashes. I then did a lot of reading on the deep connection between estrogen and serotonin. That made me feel a lot less "crazy" and more like just a woman dealing with a physical illness.

I am two years into menopause and have tried twice to wean myself off the meds, but I quickly get the old symptoms -- I've finally decided that this is where I am at now, and that I may spend the rest of my life on meds and that is OK. I have the weight gain, too -- it is frustrating and makes me feel not-so-attractive at times. I try to stay as fit as I can and focus on that instead of the weight.

I would say the important things to do are keep yourself as healthy as possible, do as many supportive things for yourself (massage, naps, fun activities) as you can, and find people you trust and can speak absolutely frankly with when you are having your issues. I did therapy for three years during the worst of the craziness and it was am emotional anchor that kept me sane and on the right path.

One word: if you can taper off the HRT do. If you are going through natural menopause there really is no good reason for it, and can cause health issues for you in the long run.

[riderinthestorm]

34. In my 50s and still not even in peri-menopause.

40+ years of this and I'm so ready to be done sharing feminine supplies with my daughters.

Sometimes I can't wait to finally get done with this.

Bottom line: grass is always greener on the other side of the fence?

Good luck to you. I have no advice. .... (dammit)