My grandfather's last letter

[Recursion]

My grandfather passed away this summer. Here's the "what to do when I die" letter he left:

It is the purpose of this memorandum to convey my desires and wishes to those persons responsible for my funeral arrangements.

Please be guided by the following:

1. If my mother survives me make all arrangements as she wishes.

2. If my mother does not survive me, I request that my body be disposed of in the simplest and least expensive manner allowed by law. Specifically I request that there be no funeral ceremony or eulogy, no grave marker and that the least expensive possible burial container be used. I request that no flowers be sent to the funeral. I request that my body not be viewed after death. Let my departure be simple, brief and unwept.

I ask that my children, my friends and those who loved me celebrate my life, not my death, and that my removal from their lives should not deter, delay or alter their lives or their enjoyment of living. Be happy for what was added to your lives through me. Mourn not for what is taken away.

I have had a happy life - full of love, full of pain and sorrow. I have achieved much that I aspired to do.

If any person would make a memorial to me let them do in silence one of these things:

1. Plant a tree where shade is needed.

2. Forgive an indiscretion and preserve a friendship as my memoriam.

3. Help a child to like himself and be confident.

4. Preserve the beauty of a stream of water, no matter how small.

5. Make a bare place green.

6. Teach someone to laugh and feel loved.

7. Create a small place of beauty where beauty was not.

But if those who loved me do any of these things, let it be between them and me in secret and let my name not appear, for I live not in my name, but in those who loved me.

He was an electrical engineer and worked as a lead on the Arecibo Observatory radio telescope project, which in 1974 sent the Arecibo Message to anybody out there who's listening:



(Fun fact: the next day, they received an response at the same frequency in the old EBCDIC encoding: "DONT WORRY HELP IS ON THE WAY". It turns out the NSA had caught the backscatter of the message off the moon, decoded it, and bounced the response back off the moon to them 24 hours later. Yes, I'm serious. Some things never change...)

He worked on another radio telescope in Uganda and had a great picture of a local sending the news of the completion of the most advanced communications system of the time with his drum (that, it turned out, was a publicity stunt too, but it's a cool picture).

This letter was a touching surprise to read a few months after his passing, but I like thinking that the message he helped send is still out there, traveling at 186,000 miles per second to places and possibly beings I can only imagine. Right now it's 39 light years away, moving towards the M13 star cluster and should reach it in about 25,000 years (well, actually the cluster won't be there anymore; this wasn't really a SETI program but a publicity stunt, but let's not worry about that right now). It's now as far from the earth as Zeta Reticuli, or, intriguingly, the recently-discovered water-rich planet orbiting GJ 1214. (Though it's narrowbeam and wasn't pointed at either of them.)

We don't have big dreams like that anymore. I don't just mean the government; Grandpa worked for EDS which was still ramping up its own numbers to try to do everything for big projects like this internally -- it's hard to imagine a company doing that now. And I wonder if we don't because we've lost touch with the "small" dreams like Grandpa mentioned in his letter. Despite all his accomplishments, he was proudest of having retired to a farm on the Brazos river where he grew blackberries and muscadine grapes and raised cows and goats.

Ave atquo vale, Grandpa...

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. My dear Recursion...

What a beautiful letter he wrote...

And how lucky you were to have him in your life. And he to have you...

Thank you for letting us read this. It was a wonder.

[BlueStreak]

2. That's the way to do it

I find these funerals really morbid, macabre, dreadful. The idea of staring at the dead body, mummified for the ages and buried with an ostentatious grave marker seems just plain sick to me.

Make your mark while alive. Hope that in your passing some people will think fondly on something you added to their life. That is really it -- the whole thing.

Thanks for sharing that. I need to write such a message myself.

[Scuba]

3. +1

[magical thyme]

4. what a wonderful message to leave behind

and a wonderful way to have lived. You were fortunate to have him in your life.

[renate]

5. speechless....

I wish there were words to express how much I admire this.

Your grandfather was... incredible. It's been a bit of a difficult day and, months after his death, he is making things a little bit better for a complete stranger.

[Tuesday Afternoon]

6. DU Rec

[livetohike]

7. That is wonderful....thanks for sharing his last wishes with us

I would have loved to talk with him about his work .