Ever been afraid of a child's toy? I am.

[WilliamPitt]

Yeah, so one of Lola's stuffed animals is this dog that's about the size of her. It has big floppy ears, a tail, and a red heart-shaped light in the center of its chest. If you push its ears, paws, belly or nose, it talks and/or sings a song.

...and it is freaking me the fuck out. Why? Because it randomly burbles out statements like, "Hug me!" or "I love you!" maybe 20 minutes after anyone has touched it. I had it sitting in the reading chair in Lola's nursery the other day, it had been there for hours with no one touching it, but when I walked in there to grab a bib, the goddam heart light lit up and it asked for a hug. I didn't come within three feet of it.

I saw Poltergeist. Fuck this thing. If Lola didn't love it so much, I'd give it an exorcism and incinerate it on the fucking grill.

[Grey]

1. Possibly a motion sensor, ??

[rocktivity]

2. Lola herself will be saying "I love you!" or "Hug me!" every 20 minutes

Last edited Thu Jan 2, 2014, 05:41 PM - Edit history (1)

before you know it -- if your wife isn't already.


rocktivity

[Kadie]

3. Yes!

My son had a fire truck that he got one year for Christmas. He loved the thing, but it freaked me out something awful.

The house is nice and quiet, then all of a sudden a man's voice somewhere in the distance says "Hurry, Call 911!". Holy crap! Scared me every time.

He also had a Bob the Builder doll that would randomly, and at all hours, yell out... "This is going to be loud!"

grrrr....

I understand Will, I have been there. All these years later and my nerves still haven't recovered.

[NewJeffCT]

4. A Furby is even worse

they can go off in the middle of the night. Got so annoying that I stuffed it in a cabinet at night, and then later removed its batteries. I think ours has been collecting dust for several years now.

But, it's just something you get used to with kids, I guess.

[herding cats]

10. Furby is exactly what came to my mind when I read this thread title!

Creepiest toy evah! It was like it knew when you were reaching a deep sleep stage and would go off saying, "it's dark in here!"

[Locut0s]

13. .....

[Trajan]

5. Maybe a surreptitious battery removal every night at bed time ...

Could bring some peace of mind ? ....

Happy New Year Will ....

[surrealAmerican]

7. this^

What the child loves about this toy is probably not the random talking. Remove those batteries. It will still be her snugly friend and won't be haunting you any more.

[First Speaker]

6. It's not named "Talking Tina", is it...?

...and you're not hearing Rod Serling's voice in the background, are you?

[LeftofObama]

9. LOL!

[BuddhaGirl]

11. OMG that episode always freaked me out!!

[nolabear]

22. That episode scarred me for life.

I had a Chatty Cathy doll and it went to the bottom of the closet for about ten years.

[CrawlingChaos]

25. I'll take a dozen Talking Tina's over this one

[riderinthestorm]

8. Trust me, you haven't been afraid of a child's toy until you've stepped on a Lego with barefeet

in the middle of the night.

Lego's are EVIL!

And since you have a girl, Barbie shoes are right up there in the scary department.



Just wait Will, the scary shit has only just begun...

[Locut0s]

15. Tangentially, why is LEGO so damned expensive?

I see lots of the larger sets are in the $200 range !

[Pretzel_Warrior]

12. my boy has toys like that, and I started wondering if our house was possessed. funniest one

is the puzzle toy with barn yard animals. If you put the animal shape over the spot where it goes, the light detection sensor will make the animal sound and a kid's voice calls out the animal's name.

If all of the animals are covered up, it will play B-I-N-G-O. Well, when it starts to get dark out or if we turn all of the lights off and forget to turn off that stupid puzzle toy, we are greeted by an eerie chorus of children singing "There was a farmer had a dog..."

I walked down a toy aisle today at the store and random toys started yelling at me. It's either sensors or I need to get more sleep.

[Generic Other]

14. I bought a headless pregnant Barbie at a junkstore

I mean come on. How often do you find one of those? With a baby. Anyway, it was on my bookshelf and when the sun warmed up the battery enough, the baby would cry. I wasn't actually aware that she came with a battery. I thought it was the cry of a banshee the first time I heard it.

[nolabear]

23. I would never have slept again.

Actually that's kind of awesome.

[laundry_queen]

30. oh, that reminds me

my older daughters had these weird miniature babies that were like those tamagotchis, except they looked like a baby and came with a bottle. You had to take care of them 24/7. Of course, the kids would forget to feed the baby to turn it off for the night, and suddenly I'd hear this realistic infant wail and it would freak me out. Then I'd have to find the baby and the only way to turn it off for the night without wiping the memory was to feed it with the bottle. So there I would be, holding this stupid 2 inch doll at 1 am, feeding it with a tiny bottle while it makes slurping noises and coos and everything. I finally put my foot down with my daughters and told them I had enough real kids and babies to care for, I didn't need to feed fake ones for fun. We took out the batteries after that.

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

16. I am somewhat afraid of those jack-in-the-box toys

where you turn a crank and a tune plays and then a creepy clown pops out. Never liked those.

[trof]

34. BINGO!

[NightWatcher]

17. We have the same one

This year we didn't get the first toy that made noise for Christmas, YAY

[WilliamPitt]

18. HOLY FUCKING SHIT, THAT'S IT.

[NightWatcher]

21. it told me daddy was bad and now it's time to play

I went to take the batteries out and ..... There were no batteries in it!!!!!!!!!

kidding, but I took them out and that dog is resting in the toy box in the playroom

[Autumn]

19. It's the NSA monitoring you.

Go on, give the NSA a big ole hug.

[Phentex]

20. Yes. A certain purple dinosaur began guffawing in the middle of the night...

Nobody was near him! We'd hear SUPER-DEE-DUPER! at 2:00 am.

[laundry_queen]

29. omg, we had that toy!

My oldest daughter loved Barney. I don't remember this one giving us any problems though...Big Bird (see down thread) was our big issue, lol.

[yuiyoshida]

24. BE AFRAID...BE VERY AFRAID!!

THE CALIFORNIA GOVENATOR ACTION FIGURE

[LeftyMom]

26. My neice had this chuckling demon clown thing. It was already creepy and then the batteries ran low.

The only thing more disturbing than the spontaneously laughing clown doll from hell was the weirdly slow, deep laugh coming from the clown from the darkest corner of the pit.

She fucking loved that thing too, so we couldn't just get rid of it. In fact we had several in case of emergency, so sometimes you'd turn a corner and then there would be muffled clown laughter coming from the back of the car.

[Brigid]

27. Was its name Pennywise?

[laundry_queen]

28. HAHA, we threw one out once

It was years ago when my first daughter, now a teen, was a baby. It was a peek-a-boo Big Bird. It had light sensors in its eyes so that you could cover its eyes with its hands, then remove the hands and Big Bird would exclaim, in a loud voice, "Peeeeek-A-BOO!"

Unknown to me, when the batteries start to die, the light sensors go haywire and the voice gets slower and really creepy sounding. I would hear a random peek-a-boo exclamation now and again for no reason. Then, one night, I was home alone, my now-ex was out of town, and at 3 am Big Bird starts saying, "Peeeeeek-A-BOO" at random intervals while in the toy box out in the living room. At first I couldn't tell it was a toy, it sounded like some pervy intruder or something. Holy crap was I scared! Then my dog started barking at the toy box and I figured out what it was and took out the batteries. I left the batteries out.

When my MIL visited (the perp who bought the god-forsaken toy) she replaced the batteries. When my now-ex came home from a business trip late one night, Big Bird greeted him as he opened the door and scared the shit out of him. Big Bird went straight into the trash that night. Thankfully my daughter also thought it was creepy so she never missed it.

My youngest daughter now has one of those 'furreal friends' dogs that you walk. Like with your daughter's toy, this dog will do random barking, whining and panting noises half an hour after my daughter is done playing with it. It always scares me at first until I figure out what it is. Hearing heavy breathing right behind you is not a comfortable feeling. I can't get rid of it though, my daughter loves it. We even got a real dog this year and I was hoping she'd forget about the 'fake' dog. That didn't work *sigh*.

ETA: LOL found Big Bird on youtube!

[winter is coming]

31. Oh, my. Suddenly the toy police car with flashing lights and siren

that my nephew had is no longer looking like Worst Toy In The World.

I always hated the Fisher Price toys because they were so damned loud. I actually put duct tape over the vents of my daughter's toys to muffle them a little.

[Shampoobra]

32. Have you ever read the book, A Dirty Job by Christopher Moore?

I friend recommended it as the best novel she had ever read, and while I enjoyed about the first 50-60 percent, the book was ultimately a letdown for me.

But I did enjoy much of what I read. In my opinion, Moore should have cut the length of that thing in half, because witty narrative alone does not a story make.

But I like the witty narrative, and it sounded so much like this: "I saw Poltergeist. Fuck this thing. If Lola didn't love it so much, I'd give it an exorcism and incinerate it on the fucking grill."

Not that Moore wrote those words, but the novel is about death and soul possession, and it was full of comments exactly like that. The similarity here is that the protagonist's little daughter, Sophie, has powers that allow her to forgo fears of death or demonic possession, and her father, while concerned for the threatened future of humanity (demons are afoot, after all), takes his daughter's situation in stride.

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

33. After an episode of Night Gallery (The Doll) my cousin freaked out if dolls were present in the room

It was based on the story The Doll by the great British Victorian era horror author Algernon Blackwood. The story is even creepier than the TV episode.

[Ryano42]

35. As a kid The Waltons Homecoming Christmas

The broken doll from the huckster preacher...