How many of you still grieve over the loss of your pet?

[warrior1]

I would like to give you a big ((((((((((((HUG))))))))))

It's been almost a week since I put Lance down and I know I have a long way to go before I can feel better. Last time after I put Sara down I only waited 2 weeks before I got Lance at the shelter.

I know I didn't give myself a lot of time to grieve for her, but I light candles every night since then. That was in 2007. I still light candles for both of them. I'm not planning on getting other pet. The feeling of loss after they're gone is really so intense, I can barely breathe.

Anyway,
I just would like to extent a heart felt hug to anyone who has or is going through this period in their life.

[Shrek]

1. May 5, 2009

Still can't bring ourselves to adopt a new dog.

[warrior1]

2. (((((HUG)))))

[Shrek]

3. I still get all teary when I look at photos

Lucky:

[warrior1]

5. It's the innocents of animals

and the trust.

I know we need to let go, we just can't forget.

Sweet baby!

[hlthe2b]

4. Every single one of them.... Of course the most recent is still the most painful loss...

My precious Tallulah Aussie mix (lost 2012)... but I have a hunch, if it is possible, she led my current adopted Aussie mix pup to me about a year later.

As happy as I am to have my current pup, I am still raw with the loss of my last...

Edited to add, a BIG HUG to all who are still mourning the loss (recent of long ago) of your precious pet... That is one sad thing pet parents all have in common at one point or another...

[warrior1]

6. (((((HUG))))

Dog spirit.

[mgc1961]

7. Grieving may not be the right word.

Last edited Mon Feb 24, 2014, 11:27 PM - Edit history (1)

I do, however, think of my late pets often.

In order of time spent with me:

Emma - dog, 16 years
Tramp - dog, 14 years
Brandy - dog, 13 years
Heidi - dog, 8 years
Buck - cat, 6 years
Willy - cat, 3 years
Fanny - cat, two days

[warrior1]

8. (((((HUGS))))

That's quite a family of love.

[raccoon]

9. I grieved for one of my cats for about 2 years. I believe that a lot of grief over other issues in

my life were tied into grieving for her.

I feel your pain. I hope that you'll change your mind about another pet.

[warrior1]

11. (((((((HUG)))))))

[laundry_queen]

10. Hugs to you.

I lost my Rosco in 2008 and I still think about him constantly. I didn't get a new dog until this last summer and I was surprised to find it didn't help much. I think that's because Rosco was a 1 person dog...and I was his person. He followed me everywhere and always did everything on my command. He could totally read my mind. He was my first baby - I got him when I was 20 before I had kids, then he died when my 4th child was a year old. Weirdly, when he died, my whole life went to shit - there was a series of really horrible things that happened after he died, which made me feel his loss even more. So I waited 5 years to get a new dog.

Our new puppy is a sweetheart and I love her, but she's taken to my 10 year old daughter more than to me so she doesn't hang out with me all that much unless my daughter is at school...then I'm an appropriate substitute, LOL.

[warrior1]

12. ((((((HUGS))))))

[orleans]

13. (raises hand) i am still grieving

i lost my furgirl in june.
still not over it tho i am adjusting to her absence
it's been extremely difficult to be without her.

i don't burst into tears the moment i wake up in the morning anymore
and some days i don't even cry
but sometimes--not often-- i still hear her scratching on the kitchen door frame to get food or go out
her bed is still in my bedroom (she didn't like to sleep on the bed with me--she was a shelter dog with ten years of previous training that i couldn't completely overcome)
and her "nest" is still under the dining room table.
i sleep with her little winter coat every night.
i talk out loud to her at least once every day.
sometimes i start crying when i get out the ice cubes (she loved ice cubes)
the simple routines in the day to day can be glaring reminders of her absence.

it's a sad & strange feeling to think, as i'm driving home, there is no reason to hurry to get there. no longer an incentive. no longer a need to rush. sometimes i still feel that sense of happy anticipation as i head home and then i remember...she is gone.

it is simply amazing to me how much we are able to love, our capacity to love. how wonderful it is that our little furfriends and babies are so cherished and treasured.

i, too, have no plans on finding/getting another. not yet.

take care. sending a warm hug right back at you for all of your heartache. in memory of lance.

[warrior1]

15. (((((((HUGS))))))))

My Lance loved ice cubes too!!

Everything you said is so true.


I just took my shower and had another break down. Telling I'm so sorry and please forgive me.

I know this is a process we have to go through, it's just so hard to bare sometimes.

[Solly Mack]

14. May 2013.

I have his ashes. I sometimes call the other dogs by his name. Little things remind me of him. He was my baby.

[warrior1]

16. ((((((HUGS))))))

I should be getting his ashes back this week.

They are so precious.

[Solly Mack]

78. and to you (((((Hugs)))))

My Benny

[haele]

17. For Moggy and Willy-bear, I've gotten to the point of sad but fond memories. They passed 2007/09.

They were my "first" cats - litter mates born in 1992 - and we had the vet come over both times so they were home and in mommy's arms when they slipped into the long sleep.
They loved going outside on harness and leashes to lay in the grass and sunshine and hunt lizards and crickets. We buried them under a side paver patio between the yard wall and the orange tree at the house we rented at the time; the owners had a small cat statue their daughter had chipped from a large river rock and we figured that area would be undisturbed for a long time after we finally moved.
I still draw them in doodles. I still talk to the little femo clay statues I made of them occasionally that carry bits of their fur in the base. I'm choking up a bit now, but there's more "missing" than actual sadness in the memories.

I still carry my "come home safe" talisman in my wallet - a picture of them together in the backyard with their harnesses on when they were still kittens and the words "We love our mommy and want her to come home soon."
I'd change that with the picture of our current rescue girls, Eris and Kali, but they won't stay still long enough for us to take one picture of them together...

The one I still tear up thinking about is my baby puppy Shari, whom we had to take to the vet when her time came two and a half years ago. I don't know if it is because of a shorter time passage or because she was so much more dependent on us to take care of her than my old baby boys were and she suffered the indignities of old age and body failure far worse than they did when it came close to that time.
I don't think we will ever get another dog. She was so dependent, and was so distressed about was going on, because she was such a good girl and didn't like making messes in the house. Watching her go through that was worse than having to make the decision.

Every grief is different. And everyone has a different reaction.



Haele

[warrior1]

19. (((((((HUGS)))))))

I had a cat named Sabrina who I lost in 1998 she was 16 and was a diabetic cat. She would have bouts of seizures and it was cruel to make her suffer. Putting her down, for some reason hurt less. But at the time I had Sara so she had many tears cried into her fur.

The pain over losing her to cancer at time is like the feeling I'm having now with Lance. He just really worn out. Bad hips and lost of his bowels quite a bit in the house. I know he would have kept dragging his self around if I had delayed but it wouldn't have been fair to him.

You're right that we all grief different, I'm trying to make sense of this.

Someone once said to me about losing a pet, that "The grief is amazing." Amen to that.

[aint_no_life_nowhere]

18. I still grieve for the dog I had as a boy that died in 1960

Medor was a weimaraner that everyone would fall in love with because of his intelligence and funny, funny ways. He was truly a member of the family, almost like a brother. Not a day has gone by since then in which I haven't thought about him.

[warrior1]

20. (((((HUGS)))))

I love those kind of dogs. So regal and intelligent.

[mgc1961]

22. I know that feeling.

Last edited Tue Feb 11, 2014, 10:48 AM - Edit history (2)

My Tramp lived from 1966 to 1980. His passing felt like losing a little brother, which of course he really was. I couldn't sleep at all that first night. I watched a late-night t.v. showing of Save the Tiger and heard the jingling of vaccination tags on his collar for days.

[warrior1]

23. (((((HUGS)))))

[hunter]

21. My wife and I have adopted older, "unadoptable" dogs.

I miss them all much, but they passed on as happy members of a family "pack," not alone in an animal shelter.

[warrior1]

24. (((((HUGS)))))

That's a wonderful way of remembering them.

[KamaAina]

25. Meow.

Kwan Yin, back in the '90s. Anastasia and Seanie even before that.

Meow.

[warrior1]

28. ((((((HUGS)))))))

[pipi_k]

26. My three girls...

I lost them within a 7 month span



Puppy Sarge on her 12th birthday, 11/14/08

Samantha at the age of almost 14, on 3/10/09

And Amy, at 13, on 6/2/09


I have two beautiful pups now, but my heart still aches so much sometimes for my old girls.


PS...Shortly after we lost Amy I bought a pendant...a stainless steel dog paw inside of a heart outline. On the back it says, in very tiny letters: "I hold you safe and always in my heart". I wear it all the time.

[warrior1]

29. (((((HUGS))))))

[840high]

27. Meows.

[warrior1]

30. (((((HUGS)))))

[tabbycat31]

31. 4/15/11

[warrior1]

32. (((((HUGS))))))

[shenmue]

33. I sure do

My little dog Keisha floated off to Dog Heaven last August. I miss her every day.

[warrior1]

36. ((((((HUGS))))))

[shenmue]

42. Thank you so much

[RebelOne]

34. I had to put my Rottweiler down in 2010,

and I still grieve for her. I had her cremated and have her ashes. Every time I look at the box where her ashes are, I am deeply saddened. She was the most wonderful dog I have ever had. She had liver and bone cancer and it got to the point where she could no longer walk, so I had to do the inevitable. She was just a few weeks short of 13 years old and had a long and happy life.

[warrior1]

37. ((((((HUGS))))))

[Walk away]

35. My Boy Toby.....

&list=UU4JJL-u4RGiQYGcJXV4zIcw&feature=share&index=10

[warrior1]

39. ((((((HUGS))))))

What wonderful memories you have.


Thank you for sharing.

[Miles Archer]

38. On occasion, yes...I do.

My two cats were indoor cats who lived long and healthy 15-plus year lives and died within a few months of each other back in 2001 (both from internal organ failure and its complications).

I have two cats now...one is around 12 years old and the other is about a year and a half. I try not to think about the inevitable. I just spoil them rotten on a day-to-say basis.

[warrior1]

40. (((((HUGS))))))

[Miles Archer]

41. Thanks warrior1.

[truebluegreen]

43. After fourteen years together, I don't know if I/we will ever get over it.

May 4, 2013 R.I.P. Charlie

When people asked us what kind of dog he was, we told them A Good Dog.







eta: don't know why my photo won't load...can't see the keyboard maybe oh, there it is.

[warrior1]

44. ((((((HUGS)))))))

[warrior1]

45. What a handsome fellow

Thank you for sharing

[truebluegreen]

50. Thank you.

He was handsome, the best looking dog in the shelter, and the saddest. When we found him he was maybe 9 months old, and had been in jail for 3. He was leaning up in the corner of his chain link cage, and didn't even stir or look at us when we came up. It was the despair that captured us in that first moment.

We took him out for a "walk" and let him off leash (this was out in a wide-open unfenced sagebrush area) and he starting running around like a dervish, trying to expend all the bottled-up energy of the previous months at once. Pure joy on wheels.

We eventually gathered him up and went back, and--trying to be sensible--asked if we could take him home over the weekend (this was Tuesday). They told us he "wouldn't be here" by the weekend, and that he was vicious, and they were afraid to let us adopt him. We told them to show us where to sign and put him in the car.

That dog wasn't vicious, if anything he was a zen master, just at that time tried almost past bearing. He was never aggressive with other dogs, or children, or people. He did eventually tire of trying to make friends with coyotes--as many as 6 at a time--but contented himself with running them down and knocking them flat with his chest, and then waltzing away with his tail in the air. Here where he lived his last years, children are taught that dogs are for protection or guarding, and are dangerous--particularly large (85 lbs) black dogs. But they--and other dogs--were drawn to him as to a magnet. It was amazing to watch.

Thanks for letting me re-live, and a big hug to you too. I am so sorry for the pain you must feel.

[warrior1]

53. Reading all these wonderful stories

About these wonderful dogs and cats has made this day for me so much better.

I guess the best way to remember them is all the joy they gave us.

Thank you for sharing.

[truebluegreen]

71. I saw this just the other day, not for the first time

and it made me cry all over again.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/10024413724

We have gotten another dog, not because we thought we could replace the one we lost, but because the girl he left behind had a broken heart. We feared we would lose her too but she's doing better now (the situation is not really good, but at least it is not so bad).

[Tom Ripley]

46. I still grieve over the loss of every pet, and can remember the feel of every one of their heads

I am so sorry for the loss of your Lance and Sara

[warrior1]

48. ((((((HUGS))))))

[mimi85]

47. We'll miss Maggie the English Bulldog

until the day we pass. And she's been gone since late 2009. We had her almost 13 years which is pretty long for a bulldog. We've had many a dog since our grown daughter was a baby, but none were like Maggie May. I got another bulldog for my husband's bday in 2011 - big mistake. Molly Dog was a terror and we finally found a good home for her (thanks to the local dog rescue folks). For some reason I mistakenly thought all bulldogs had the same temperament. Wrong. The girl next door who is now in her 20s with a baby of her own, used to come over when she was around 8-9 and ask if Maggie could come out and play.

Damn, think I got some dust in my eye.

Her birthday was on New Year's Day and we always take a few minutes to look at the scrapbook our daughter made for us when Maggie was still alive.

[warrior1]

49. (((((HUGS))))))

[A HERETIC I AM]

51. Every day. Ten years this summer. n/t

[warrior1]

52. (((((((HUGS))))))))

[Blue Owl]

54. Couple ((( hugs))) back atchya, Warrior

Never forget them!

[warrior1]

55. Impossible

((((((HUGS))))))

[Tom_Foolery]

56. I've been thinking about my dog, Inky, for 33 years...

He became my best friend when I was five, and I had to put him down when I was 21.

[warrior1]

57. (((((HUGS))))))

[Tom_Foolery]

58. ((((((((HUGS))))))))...

They're always with us as long as we remember. Thank you!!

[LisaLynne]

59. I'm sorry for your loss.

I know what you mean about not being able to breathe. After I had to have my cat, Gabriel, put to sleep, I remember just coming home and sitting on my couch and just feeling like ice. It was the first time I realized how close grief is to fear.

I think it's worse because there are those out there who don't realize what a huge, huge loss this is. You just sort of have to pretend it's not happening in some circles and know that there are those who just don't understand.

But there are those who do.

Thanks for the hugs. I'll be thinking of you, Sara, and Lance.

[warrior1]

60. ((((((HUGS))))))

After posting this initial thread earlier this morning I didn't expect to get a lot of hits on it. But boy was I wrong. Dog and cat people and all the other little critters are my people. I've been overwhelmed and have been finding much comfort in all of the stories about your pets. Every single one has made me feel so much better.

That part about being afraid is so much like fear is so right on.

It gets better.

[LisaLynne]

61. It does get better!

((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))

[Trailrider1951]

62. Yeah, its just a shame that we outlive them. It really hurts when they go

But, I've usually adopted another pet or two and moved on, never forgetting the one who came before.
Maybe it's a blessing that we outlive them, so that we can care for so many...

[warrior1]

64. (((((((HUGS))))))))

[mwdem]

63. All of them..

MY best friend, my rat terrier, when I was a kid, all the way up to my last lost, my golden last year. I've always had dogs and cats throughout my life. Now, in my early 60's, I still remember them all. I've lost a lot of friends, and in the process of spending the last weeks or months with my girl kitty. I will probably have a few more babies in my life (maybe older babies!). They are never forgotten.

[warrior1]

65. ((((((((HUGS)))))))))

[mwdem]

68. ((((((hugs back at you!))))))

[IrishAyes]

66. You're a wonderful human being to even be thinking of others in the midst of your own grief.

My sincerest condolences. A current intention not to get another pet is understandable, but I hope temporary. When you have a few more days to catch your breath, start to think of all the poor shelter dogs who need the loving home you can give them. Don't do it for yourself. Do it for them and all the other furkids in your life, from the past to the future. Wherever they are, Sara and Lance (etc.) will bless you for it. And you will start to feel better. If you're a dog lover, there's no other way.

When I had to put down my 2 chows (littermate sisters) after 16 years, it nearly killed me too. A neighbor with a backhoe dug a grave for them 7 feet deep, and the vet came out. When it was done, I turned away because I couldn't bear to see them lowered in their blanket, together as they'd always been. I stumbled away bawling something about how I wished Doc could put me in there with them. And I meant it, too.

Not very long afterward someone brought me a sweet little mini-Beagle/Pom mix who badly needed a home. After she'd twisted me around her little paws, she guilted me into getting her a stepsister. Every time she'd see another dog IRL or even on tv, she'd whine and look at me, then back at the other dog, and back at me again to be sure I understood. She was happy enough, but not in high cotton yet. When a friend who belongs to a rescue group convinced me to take a nearly starved smoothcoat JRT, they set up a 400-mile relay to bring her to me. That poor thing spent the first night cuddled on my stomach, and I fed her a tiny bit of food hourly so as not to overtax her stomach. Fortunately the two dogs are just crazy about each other. And they keep me from going any crazier than I already am.

Yes, I still cry sometimes when I think about my chows or look at their grave. But it's our charge in life to look after the little animals, and I pray that your heart will mend a bit very soon so you can take up the calling again. You know that's a large part of what you're made for. And I don't need to tell you how blessed you will be.

[warrior1]

67. ((((((((HUGS))))))))))

Reading all the stores today has made me feel a lot better.

Thank you for sharing yours.

[chrisa]

69. Yes. Mine very recently died in my arms after suffering a massive heart attack.

It was somewhat expected, but it's been hard.

Our pets are definitely a part of us, and when they die, it feels like a bit of our souls die leaving a matter-less void. It's like that saying goes (or something like it) - we're like trees: any cuts we get will remain, but we simply keep growing upwards making them smaller in comparison to the whole.

[warrior1]

73. (((((((HUGS))))))))

[chrisa]

79. No u

Seriously. This actually helps. You are the one deserving of the hug, great sir. Not just one hug, but an onslaught of hugs.

[url][/url]

[warrior1]

88. ((((((HUGS)))))))

psst, I'm really a girl, um lady.

[NYC_SKP]

70. We know how you feel. And I didn't want another dog, either, but one day a dog found me.

At a flea market, being given away for free by a non-English speaking family who, it would seem, didn't have the means to care for her.

Love your lost love, your family member, your best friend. We are blessed with all of the critters in our lives.

Anyway, be strong, love all the animals around you, and maybe one day a new friend will present him or herself.

Like this one:



(((((((( ))))))))))))

[warrior1]

74. Now that's a sweet face

(((((((((HUG))))))))))

[NYC_SKP]

76. I have very few pictures of Bridgette (dog rest her soul).

I got her in 1988, the runt in a litter of AKC labs but the smartest and cutest of the bunch.

She had a long life, became grey and went away in 2004. Digital cameras were just coming on line.

She is interred out in our yard where she spent so much of her wonderful life.

Memories, dogs, so much love!

[The Velveteen Ocelot]

72. I've been owned by cats for more than 30 years

and over that time I've lost Kitty, Tulip, Charles, Leonard, Spot, Alice, Woody and Teddy. I have eight cat-shaped holes in my heart; I miss all of them. But as much as it hurts to lose them I don't think I could ever be without cats in my life.

[warrior1]

75. (((((((((HUGS)))))))))

[UTUSN]

77. it.s never over

[warrior1]

80. (((((((HUGS)))))))

[Prophet 451]

81. I do, nearly every day

I miss Jelli, who was a half-blind (one eye blind, the other going) stray that we adopted and who became my inseparable companion. She'd tear anyone else to shreds if they tried to pick her up but snuggled into my arms for a cuddle and slept curled up around my knees. We have no idea how old she was when she suffered the stroke that killed her but we made sure her last few years were spent in luxury and with love.

I miss Mac, who was a kitten abandoned on our doorstep who grew into a big ball of fluff. He would race downstairs at full tilt and smack into the wall at the bottom because he'd never learned to turn. He was a boisterous kitten all his life until a heart attack took him at two and a half.

I miss Suki, the crotchety old lady of the house who existed her cat-carrier, wandered around for a few minutes then settled herself on a cushion and decided that would do for her. Slow and easy, she took life at a walk. She was sixteen when we lost her to old age.

And I miss Sandy, who was so timid when he came to us that he'd run and hide behind the sofa if someone walked past the front door but got to be so confidant that he'd greet people as they came in and hop up on the table to eat the other side of my burger as I was eating it. So sweet-natured, he chased his elderly sister (Suki) at a walk, we don't know how old he was when FIV and cancer took him from us.

I miss them all. There are four small urns of their ashes on top of a bookcase and I think about them most days.

[warrior1]

84. (((((HUGS)))))

[aquart]

82. Wait. What has grief to do with getting another pet?

I got Lucky half an hour after putting David down. Did that put valiant David out of my heart? Never.

Love is no more finite than grief. And if you love animals and have a vacancy, get a lonely soul out of a cage.

It won't replace your dead pet. It will be an entirely new experience.

Lucky was David's Memorial Cat.

[warrior1]

85. ((((((HUGS)))))))

[Raine1967]

83. warrior1:

I can't thank you enough for this post. We said goodbye to our Kizzie girl this past Thursday. I wasn't planning on saying anything about it here at DU because it was still to new, too raw and too sad.

That said, this thread brought a smile to my face. You and all the others here sharing stories makes the hurt a little less. here is my Kizzie girl, with her buddy, Brewser cat. She was a truly peaceful dog. My friends called her the ghandi of dogs.




to everyone for sharing such wonderful stories and memories!

[warrior1]

86. (((((((HUGS))))))))

I miss the routine.

I just got up and first thing is to check on him. In the end he didn't always up. I would check on him and he always deep in sleep.

I keep telling myself it gets better.

[Raine1967]

89. I think it will get better.

Like your baby, Kizzie was often in deep sleep. Towards the end she had a really hard time standing. In the morning one of us would wake up and get her up. Then one of us would Coax her outside to do her business.

For me, the hardest part has been coming home. I keep waiting to hear her tail thumping on the floor. Brewser keeps looking for Kizzy. That cat was born in our place less than a year after we found Kizz. Brewser, as a kitten, actually tried to Nurse the dog! They really were buddies.

I miss her stinky breath. As I said above, thank you so much for this post, Warrior. It helps so very much.

We'll get through this.

[aquart]

87. How's Brewser taking it?

[Raine1967]

90. She often sits where Kizzie's bed was.

It very subtle, but she misses her Kizzie. After her Momma and her siblings, (we adopted Momma cat not knowing she was pregnant) she has known Kizzie her whole life.

The past few days she's taken to waking me up in the morning and is a bit needy. *sigh*


I;m not sure if people saw the picture of her and Brew but we have a lot of that silly cat snuggling up to Kizz.

[aquart]

91. Sometimes the animal grief is harder to bear, because you can't explain.

After my stepdad died, Rhonda the Siamese would go keening through the house every night with his leather glove in her mouth.

[Raine1967]

92. I think you are right.

I keep telling my hubby that I'm trying not to project my feelings on Brewser. That said, I can see she's acting different.

Both Brew and Momma cat have actually been around both of us a little more lately. I really think they sense something is off in the house.

I know we did the right thing. I wish we didn't have to. I miss her.

She didn't run. Didn't play. Didn't know how to fetch. She was a buddha dog, except when she moonwalked. She moonwalked for bacon.

Her body gave out.