You'd be amazed how healthy I look

[1-Old-Man]

I'm not over weight, not under weight either. I have the blood pressure of a somewhat athletic 17-year-old and I haven't smoked or drank in over 15 years.

Yesterday my primary Doctor told me it was time I put my final affairs in order. He said the end won't come today, tomorrow, or even this month, but it would be soon and when it came it would come fast. We have always been honest with each other, there was no reason for him to say any more.

My wife took it OK, thank goodness for that. I've asked my son and daughter-in-law to dinner friday. I have to see what I can do now to make it easier for them later.

Where do you start? My GP is, fortunately, also the director of two of the local Hospice organizations. I told her some time ago that I would be coming to her when the time came. I guess now's the time. What else?

[In_The_Wind]

1. I'm sorry, 1-Old-Man.

[1-Old-Man]

3. Thank you. This was not unexpected

The cancer that is going to get me was discovered about three years ago. I have been fortunate in that my treatments so far (one major operation and 6 different chemo regimens) haven't stopped me from getting on with a more or less normal life. Yes, I've lost my hair and toenails, had sores that took months to heal, and had my weight go up and down like a pogo-stick but overall its been bearable and the good days have far outnumbered the bad ones. Today, for instance, I feel as healthy as can be. Tomorrow might not be as good, but I will not worry about that today.

I'm good on life insurance, I have all of my important papers together and in the safe deposit box. My wife has one of our keys to the box, my son has the other. I have a will, properly executed. I still have to transfer some acreage to my son, but I expect to get on that after we all get together this weekend. I wan't to get their input so the things they see as important are taken care of now if possible and of course I want to make sure we're all on the same page. I don't foresee any estate problems, it all goes to my wife but tools and equipment will be transferred to my son before my death - which is to say next week, all subject to my wife's approval.

We've got three grandchildren but I leave it to my son (only child) to take care of them.

[In_The_Wind]

6. I'm glad that your family will be with you this weekend.

Each day is a gift.

May the remainder of your days be peaceful and as pain free as possible.

[handmade34]

8. may you have just good days...

you are an inspiration!!.. I will say that the preparation is a precious gift to your family... when we knew that my husband would not live much longer, he helped make all the final arrangements and I was so grateful

[riderinthestorm]

2. Oh damn... I am so, so very sorry. You are being incredibly brave and clear headed

May I suggest that if you haven't drawn up a will that now's the time?

After you have your papers in order, I'd rent my bestest favorite movies. Laugh. Go see your favorite shows/actors/museums/concerts... Make reservations at your favorite places and savor every bite. Take your wife on a last romantic weekend. Is there something (or two or three) on your bucket list you can manage? Celebrate your favorite holiday early - why wait til the date? Do it now and enjoy it.

Personally, I'd try to make amends if I could or needed to, so I wouldn't die with any regrets that way.

Make time to really watch the sunrise and sunsets. Stars too. Smell the roses (literally, at your favorite flower shop if you aren't in a warm climate with blooming flowers at the moment) as often as you can.

I often wonder if I'd want to have advance notice of my death so I could do all of these things (that I should be doing all along but forget...)

Please keep us in the loop if you can. I'll be thinking of you every day....

[Hassin Bin Sober]

4. I'm sorry to hear this. What is the diagnosis?

[Iggo]

5. At least let me buy you a drink.

[2theleft]

7. Big hugs and peaceful feelings to you, 1-Old-Man

It sounds like you have been expecting these words and have worked to make this as easy as possible for your family. I hope that now after the last few things are decisioned you will focus on making it as easy as possible for you. Spend as much time with your family as you can. You sound so emotionally strong that I am completely amazed by your strength. That, more than anything, will help your family.

Please let us know what we can do to help, if anything. I know you already know that the entire DU family will be sending you positive vibes/prayers/whatever we believe to help you through these last times. Please check in with us when you can. When my dad was at the end of his battle with cancer, hospice was the most amazing thing for him. It wasn't easy on any of us, but knowing he was pain free was a huge relief and just let us focus on him and spending time with him.

One other word of advice for your family...when it's time for hospice, please make sure that they talk to the nurses and doctors so they know what to expect about things you will do and what your body is doing, especially in the last few days. The hospice nurses for my dad were the most amazing people on the face of the planet. Knowing what to expect, and what was "normal", was a great comfort once my dad wasn't awake any longer.

Please take good care of your emotional health as you head into this. You don't always have to be strong for your family, I know they will want to be strong for you. Let them.

I am sending the most positive vibes for peaceful and painfree time left that I can. Hugs to you and your family. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions or anything about hospice or if you think there is anything I can tell you about that might help you or your family.

I'm so very sorry you have had to deal with this horrible disease. Your strength is amazing to me.