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Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsI HATE Mothers Day!
Am I the only one? My mother is long deceased. My ex-wife took off years ago, leaving me with 3 kids to raise by myself. I really miss my mom. I always get so depressed on mothers day.
CaliforniaPeggy
(149,611 posts)I'm so sorry...
I hope your children love you bunches!
malthaussen
(17,193 posts)My mother's birthday falls right around Mother's Day every year. She refuses to allow the words "Mother's Day" to be spoken in her household. She's almost as adamant about the word "Birthday," but not quite.
-- Mal
hunter
(38,311 posts)Birthdays and holidays, especially highly commercialized holidays, irritate her.
She was a Jehovah's Witness for much of my childhood, having abandoned her childhood dream of being a Catholic nun to have many children in a very Catholic way. But she was not respectful of pre-Vatican II authority. Later she got kicked out of the Witnesses because she couldn't stay out of politics.
Then we were anti-war Quakers. With the Quakers my mom could speak as the Holy Spirit moved her and people would listen respectfully without taking offense, and then everyone would move on.
My mom always says what she believes, even when we were living in Franco's Spain when I was a teenager. We had to leave Franco's Spain in the middle of the night for France, to live in a public park. This park had one of the scariest restrooms I've ever seen in my life. Black enamel paint and a low wattage light bulb to hide the horror of puking drunks, perverts, and cheap prostitution.
I was one of those odd kids in U.S. grade school who never acknowledged the flag salute. Okay, sometimes I did stand up, succumbing to peer pressure, but I didn't put my hand over my heart or say the words. Speak an oath, go to hell, do not collect $200.
I remember one well-meaning teacher explained my behavior to the class as an example of U.S. religious freedoms, further cementing my already solid status as a freak of nature. I escaped this reputation, and the nickname "queerbait," by quitting high school.
steve2470
(37,457 posts)it does make me reflect upon my deceased mother. She was a tad difficult for me to cope with, but we grew closer as she neared death. I'm happy for those who still have living mothers and who are mothers.
rug
(82,333 posts)Happy Mother's Day!
Rhiannon12866
(205,277 posts)I lost my mother in the fall of 2011, so this is my third year without her, and all the commercials and publicity surrounding Mother's Day really get to me, too.
orleans
(34,051 posts)this is my fifth mother's day without my mom
i saw my daughter today and that helped a lot but i was alone yesterday and it was really hard--i had a terrible time missing her so badly
back home now, watching long island medium, feeling a bit exhausted from all of yesterday's tears & emotional upheaval
it's really hard. still.
Rhiannon12866
(205,277 posts)Maybe it's the "holiday," but I've been thinking about it a great deal lately. My mother's death was an accident, fell down the stairs in the dark when the power went out in these parts during Hurricane Irene, was in ICU in Albany (NY) Medical Center for three weeks after that, visited her everyday and still had such hope, which probably makes it harder. I often think of what else I could have done.
How wonderful that you have your daughter, know that must help a lot, and I imagine it's hard for her, too. Take good care of yourself and do whatever it is that helps you feel better. Just know that you're not alone...
orleans
(34,051 posts)i know what you mean about wondering what else you could have done. i played that tormenting song over and over for a long long time. every once in awhile i still play it but mostly i have managed to forgive myself for not being able to foresee or predict the future.
my heart aches for her with a pain i have never known. i love her beyond words and miss her just as much. it's astounding to realize the intensity of the bonds we are capable of creating with others. my mom always said i was "overly emotional" and i had a dismissive tendency to chalk it up to having a "poet's soul." but these past years? i never knew these waters ran so deep.
sometimes i feel she is watching me, shaking her head sadly, sympathizing with my plight, and yet amazed to realize how much she is loved.
thank you for your warmth and hugs. you're not alone either.
LynneSin
(95,337 posts)My dad passed away when I was 14. It's just another day for me.
Coventina
(27,115 posts)My mother is deceased and my only pregnancy ended in a miscarriage.
I hate being wished "happy Mother's Day."
It's a reminder of everything I don't have.
Phentex
(16,334 posts)I speak to my mother once a year (long crappy story) so Mother's Day is depressing to me. I love my kids dearly and they always do something fun for me on Mother's Day but there's always a little pain along with it.
rurallib
(62,411 posts)to me July 4, Halloween, thanksgiving and the christmas season are the only real holidays.
I was young when my mother died also so it seems kind of s dead day to me.
kentauros
(29,414 posts)about all the people wishing her a happy mother's day. So, I wished her a Happy Evil Stepmother's Day, and she appreciated that (she's a stepmother, but childfree otherwise.)
Wounded Bear
(58,648 posts)I was also a single father. I was more of a mother to my daughter than her "real" mother ever was with some isolated exceptions. I raised her from kindergarten through HS. Hey, there's a shitload of us "male mothers" out there that seldom get any credit. I suppose I'll get reamed by the anti-masculinity crowd for saying shit like that, but fuck 'em.
Happy fucking mother's day to ya.
Systematic Chaos
(8,601 posts)My own mother was completely out of her tree and pretty much destroyed me with how she "raised" me.
My mother-in-law is a better person in a lot of ways, but she's got tons of emotional issues and won't seek/accept help. Talking to her is a huge exercise in frustration, not to mention often depressing.
I just give up.