The 2014 Hater's Guide To The Williams-Sonoma Catalog

[GreatGazoo]

Drew Says: This is the perfect low-end Williams Sonoma gift because a) it costs $30 but is also somehow utterly pointless, b) there is no way that, in real life, your stupid snowman cake will stay upright (how does all that icing stay up on his face? I call bullshit), and c) it's perfect for making a cake that you do not want anyone to actually eat. How do you slice the idiotic snowman cake? You don't. You bake it, you put it in the center of the table, and then you yell at the kids to not fucking touch it. That's how people roll with a snowman cake.
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Drew Says: Yes, a hot chocolate pot. Because a fondue pot wasn't quite useless enough. Hey, you know what other kind of pot is good for making hot chocolate? A POT. Like, any regular pot that you already have. I know sometimes it dribbles down the side when you pour the chocolate out, making you want to kill God. But if you use a ladle, you'll be fine. The Williams-Sonoma catalog will not rest until you need a separate pot for every single goddamn thing you make. QUICK! SOMEONE FETCH ME THE GOAT CHEESE FRITATTA SKILLET! No, not the Western Frittata skillet, you MORON! It's $60. For a hot chocolate pot. Goddamn.
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Drew Says: Four fucking ramekins, for $100! At least the $180 ham in this brochure is 18 pounds. I wanna run a business where people pay me that much to ruin lobster. Why does mac and cheese get a pass from the "don't put cheese on seafood" rule? Is it because Americans just blindly eat any mac and cheese you put in front of them? OH WHAT A UNIQUE TWIST ON COMFORT FOOD. There is nothing comforting about shelling out that much money for four frozen thimblefuls of lobster glue. For a hundred bucks, I want LOBSTER. I can make a pot of Kraft mac on the side if we really need it. Otherwise, send me a five-pound Tupperware filled with nothing but shelled lobster meat, and then I will decide the proper way of deploying it.

http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/the-2014-haters-guide-to-the-williams-sonoma-catalog-1667452305

[Phentex]

1. We got a hot chocolate pot and gift set in a gift exchange years ago...

It was the dumbest thing I had ever seen. We used the cocoa mix but never used the pot so I donated it. I think I heard they were recalled some time after that cause it looked different from the one in the article.