I had to take a dump

[unionworks]

...I looked down at the old porcelin bowl and saw the faded logo "Standard". Then I lifted the plastic seat cover and where I was to plant my cheeks saw "made in China" in bright blue letters. Can someone decipher this for me?

[hay rick]

1. You're confusing Standard with American Standard.

Made in China is definitely standard these days. And, as your experience shows, nobody gives a shit.

[unionworks]

2. Oh butt I did "give a shit"

...in fact, this was a shit of monumental proportions! What better way to enshrine such a massive log than to pinch it off into an esteemed American manufactureres bowl? But should a log of such renoun have to pass through the chinese made gates of a plastic seat???

[pipi_k]

6. If you truly gave a shit

you would have honored said turd by not allowing it to pass through the gates of plastic hell on its way to Poo Heaven.

Just lift the seat, climb directly onto the porcelain sides, squat, and do your duty.

The esteemed members of the Mr Hankey family deserve nothing less.


Alternately, really epic shits merit something even better...they must be saved and encased in multiple layers of preservative, then displayed on the mantelpiece along with the rest of the family memorabilia.

For posterior-ity

[unionworks]

8. I'm glad somebody

Gives a shit!

[Tuesday Afternoon]

3. I'm confused ;;;

why do we

-Give- a shit

but

-Take- a dump and where do we -Take- it, anyway?

[Lasher]

4. You didn't really take a dump, did you?

You actually left a dump. You don't take one. Or at least that's what I hope you did.

[pipi_k]

7. If I recall correctly...

George Carlin had a particular worry about someone taking one of his dumps...

[HopeHoops]

5. I hope everything came out okay.